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Author Topic: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.  (Read 862481 times)

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Piratelvr1121

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #705 on: July 14, 2011, 03:45:42 PM »
With the storms that went through some Iowan towns on Monday, my bff posted via her phone on FB:

Quote
Note to self: From now on, think twice before complaining about a neighbor's 70 foot walnut tree making a mess in your yard every fall.... after Monday's storm that 70 foot walnut tree IS the mess in your yard! ;)

This tree is now taking up much of her backyard, but thankfully just barely missed hitting her house, and she was one of the luckier ones in her town.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

snowfire

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #706 on: July 15, 2011, 01:12:02 AM »
Yikes!  I'm glad your friend and her house are unharmed.  Really makes you think about "Be careful what you wish for..."

esteban

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #707 on: July 17, 2011, 07:48:47 PM »
I may be a bad parent for this one.

DD2 was drinking a milkshake, just as my wife was going to tell her not to tip the cup back so far she suddenly dropped the cup.  And glared at us through a face full of milkshake with the hurt and confused look only a 3 year old covered in dessert can give.

I'm still giggling about it, and it has been 20 minutes.

Yep, I'm going to hell.
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siamesecat2965

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #708 on: July 17, 2011, 08:55:08 PM »
I did this to myself, so I guess I can laugh, but it was funny.  My bedroom has a closet with a door just on the other side of the bedroom door.  So one door, about a foot of wall, then the closet door.  Along that wall space I have a steamer, which has a hanger that unfolds.  I had it open today, and ws going into my closet and smacked right into the edge of the hanger.  With my b*o*o*b  OUCHY.  Now I have a bruise.  Guess the hanger was at the right level for the direct hit!

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #709 on: July 17, 2011, 09:34:40 PM »
Yikes!  I'm glad your friend and her house are unharmed.  Really makes you think about "Be careful what you wish for..."

Yeah no kidding!  It sure does make me feel grateful that we live in an area where we're unlikely to be affected by hurricanes or earthquakes and while we have seen a few funnel clouds, no tornadoes have touched down since we've lived here...*knock on wood*...
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Irishkitty

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #710 on: July 18, 2011, 07:35:36 AM »
^ Classic! I remember watching some daytime chat show (you know the kind where all the audience are yelling and screaming, guests are waiting for paternity tests, finding out who's cheating on whom, etc). This one was about "Please tell my girlfriend to get a breast reduction" or the like.

I'll never forget one woman who was so proud of her petite tiny frame and massive (massive) natural breasts, she loved them, could everyone else not see that they were great?! The Host asked her boyfriend why. He said "She keeps falling over".

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heartmug

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #711 on: July 21, 2011, 12:26:14 PM »
My grandmother had a breast reduction about 30/40 years ago because they were very, very big.  She is also very short, about 5 foot. 

She fell over a little while ago and landed straight on her boob.  She was ok but she was a bit sore for a few days.  No one can take a joke as well as my Irish grandmother.  She laughed her you-know-what off when I told her that if she'd never had that surgery all those years ago then she wouldn't have even got close to the ground with her old giant boobs :D.

LOL!
One option in a tug of war with someone is just to drop the rope.

Sebastienne

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #712 on: July 24, 2011, 11:59:13 PM »
DH and I were walking along a city street when suddenly, he wasn't next to me anymore.  I looked over, and he was  about three feet shorter than normal.  He had walked straight into a surprisingly deep hole in the sidewalk (it looked like a tree used to be planted there and had recently been removed) without noticing!

If he had been hurt, it would not be funny.  But he was totally fine, so therefore, it was hilarious.

Hollanda

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #713 on: July 26, 2011, 02:44:40 PM »
DF used to have a habit of walking straight into lamp-posts because he was too busy looking around and not looking where he was going. The second time he did that, I swear the poor guy saw stars. I asked if he was OK, but I was desperately trying to disguise my giggles. He looked so confused, like "Who put that there?!"  ::)
Knowledge is knowing tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.


shadowfox79

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #714 on: July 26, 2011, 04:49:15 PM »
One that I just remembered.

When I was about 10, I would go back to my friend "Tasmia"'s house after gym club, which was after school, and be fed dinner. Tasmia had two younger sisters, "Sally" and "Lindy". Sally was about 8, while Lindy was of an age where she could use the bathroom herself but needed help with the wiping afterwards.

On one occasion, after Lindy had been and was waiting in The Position for someone to wipe, Tasmia turned to me and said "You do it, you're the oldest."

"What? I'm not doing it! She's your sister!"

"Well, I'm not! You do it, Sally."

"No! You do it!"

Ten minutes later, Tasmia's mum came in to find us in a heated debate and poor Lindy still grabbing her ankles.

Unsurprisingly we all got told off, but it still makes me laugh.

Tashigi

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #715 on: July 26, 2011, 06:40:10 PM »
I was walking with a good friend in an area that was rather well known for very bad drivers and heavy traffic congestion. Right after we nearly got clipped by a driver that had a cavalier attitude towards stop signs, she looked over at me.

Friend: "Careful, or we're going to end up as pancakes in the middle of the road."
Me: "Pancakes? Pancakes are tasty... and usually aren't made of human body parts. I'm thinking you'd end up with something more like spaghetti bolognese."
A beat.
Friend: "Careful, or we're going to end up as bolognese sauce in the middle of the road."

Information_queen

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #716 on: July 27, 2011, 09:00:50 PM »
Last night, The Sweetie called out from the kitchen, "If the recycling bin is empty, and you put a kitten in it, will hilarity ensue?"

If a kitten is involved, hilarity will always ensue.

I don't know.  Sometimes hilarity, sometimes pain.  Occasionally both.

As long as it's someone else's pain, that just makes it funnier.   >:D

"It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt. After that, it's hysterical."

To add to that, putting a Jasper in a laundry basket (bonus if you put the laundry basket over him) ensures hilarity as well, and so is putting a blanket over him and watching him tunnel his way out.  (we are so mean...haha)

We stick Mudkips' toys in his collar and video tape the results. I don't have any right now, I think they got deleted, or maybe Jason was filming? but I do have one of him attacking Jason's singing birthday card. It was quite amusing.

Zenith

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #717 on: July 27, 2011, 09:39:22 PM »
Friend: "Careful, or we're going to end up as pancakes in the middle of the road."
Me: "Pancakes? Pancakes are tasty... and usually aren't made of human body parts. I'm thinking you'd end up with something more like spaghetti bolognese."
A beat.
Friend: "Careful, or we're going to end up as bolognese sauce in the middle of the road."

*Blink* Ya know, that is a better description of what happens when one gets flattened.  :D Guess we don't end up like cartoon characters after all.


PeasNCues

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #718 on: July 28, 2011, 08:36:39 AM »
To add to that, putting a Jasper in a laundry basket (bonus if you put the laundry basket over him) ensures hilarity as well, and so is putting a blanket over him and watching him tunnel his way out.  (we are so mean...haha)

We stick Mudkips' toys in his collar and video tape the results. I don't have any right now, I think they got deleted, or maybe Jason was filming? but I do have one of him attacking Jason's singing birthday card. It was quite amusing.
[/quote]

We used to put treats into an empty tissue box. Rockie would reach in to get the treats and box would inevitably get stuck on her head. Hilarity ensues.
'I shall sit here quietly by the fire for a bit, and perhaps go out later for a sniff of air.  Mind your Ps and Qs, and don't forget that you are supposed to be escaping in secret, and are still on the high-road and not very far from the Shire!' -FOTR

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LadyClaire

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #719 on: July 28, 2011, 11:11:50 AM »
Ok..this one is slightly adult in nature, but...it's also one of the funniest things I have ever seen.

So my sister dated a guy for a while, and he had apparently gifted her with a plaster model of his..ahem..scrabble pieces. As in, it had been molded directly from his..well..bits and bobs. They had a rather rocky relationship, and eventually it ended for good. One day when I was over at her house, I discovered the plaster replica and said "So..uh..what are you going to do with this, now?"

My sister decided that she was going to take it outside and smash it on her back porch, which was a concrete slab. So outside we went and with great ceremony, she hurled the plaster privates onto the concrete, where it broke into only 2 pieces. The majority of it was still intact, and still very obvious as to what it was.

My sister owns a chocolate lab. The dog was outside with us, and thought we were playing some fantastic game. As the main part of the replica bounced across the concrete, the dog pounced on it, snatched it up, and took off with it sticking out of the side of her mouth. So we started chasing her in an attempt to get it back, because honestly, what would the neighbors think if the dog decided she wanted to play a game of "fetch" and dropped it at someone's feet? The dog thought we were joining in on her fun game, so she started to run in circles around the entire outside of my sister's house, with the two of us in hot pursuit. Around and around we went, dog, sister, and me, around and around the house, with the dog's ears flying in the breeze and the plaster you-know-what sticking out of her mouth like some sort of incredibly inappropriate cigar. We were hollering at her "Maggie! DROP THAT RIGHT NOW!!" but of course the dog was not listening. My sister was also afraid the dog would swallow it and start choking, and then how would she explain THAT to the vet?

Finally, my sister managed to catch the dog. I held the dog down while my sister pried her jaws open and removed the now rather worse-for-wear plaster whatsit from her teeth. I was laughing so hard I could barely breathe and my sister was scolding the dog, who was rather confused by the whole experience but quite pleased that we'd "played" with her for so long.