Things that you just should NOT laugh at.

[Kimblee]

I fear I am a bad person. Because this situation still makes me laugh like a loon. So i submit to eHell, how bad is it that this whole thing made me laugh?

First i will introduce the players:

Mandy and Courtney, MALE identical twins who also happened to be albino. As in long white hair, pinkish eyes. (they are also breathtakingly physically perfect, at least I think so. I have some pictures of them that still make me giggle like the demented schoolgirl I once was.)

B, who has CP and yet was one of the fastest runners in our school. In a walker. Oh, and she thinks that anyone who dares lose to her should then be taunted for eternity with "So.... you got your donkey handed to you by a "ripple-with-a-C" ya know..."

Me, Kimmie.

and

L, a football player. he's also pretty cool in his own right, but is more my aquaintance than a friend. He married B, and claims she wears the pants in the house.

School was over for the day, and it was super wet, so i went to the gym, and Mandy was sitting on the bleachers with his eyes shut, wearing all white (which was a strange habit of his. he just really liked white. And hunter green.) I walked over and sat by him, confused, and he sat giggling softly, but not moving. I poked him, and he just kept giggling. So I finally demanded to know what he was doing. Without moving or opening his eyes, and in a patronizing tone he replied

"I am invisible, OBVIOUSLY."

I couldn't stop laughing.

Be came over soon,a nd I told her that Mandy was invisible. She snickered and asked how it was I could see him. I told her I wa smagic, and that she could tell he was there because I was talking to him. Then she got in a funny.

"I just assumed you were talking to the imaginary friends again."

Mandy: Buuuuurn things.... and you are Napoleon! (pronounced Nah poolee ahhn!)

So we three sat snickering, as Courtney came in (dressed fairly normally I guess I don't remember what he wore) and sat beside his brother.

To recap:   !B!Kimmie!Mandy!Courtney!

And then L came in and blinked at us. B told him Mandy was invisible. So he blinked, looked up and down and said "Okay. So we've got a {ripple with a c], a crazy, a ghost and... what is Courtney?

At which Courtney smirked and said "Courtney is a LAYDEEEE"

I have no clue why Courtney was a lady, but I laughed until i was sure I would wet myself.

And yet I'm pretty sure none of this should have really been funny.

So Ehellions, anything you think is funny but deep down know was probably wrong on multiple levels?

[Giggity]

Darn near everything, which is why I keep getting into trouble. 

[Black Delphinium]

Had a guy in my class all through school that had a fake leg. One day in middle school gym class, he went up for a kick in kickball.

His fake foot broke off and went flying. Apparently, it was very rude of my to laugh at that, even though he was laughing too( a girl in our class told me it was rude, not him).

[Kimblee]

Had a guy in my class all through school that had a fake leg. One day in middle school gym class, he went up for a kick in kickball.

His fake foot broke off and went flying. Apparently, it was very rude of my to laugh at that, even though he was laughing too( a girl in our class told me it was rude, not him).

Question is.... did anyone tell him he didn't have a "leg to stand on"?

*slinks away*

[Clara Bow]

Darn near everything, which is why I keep getting into trouble.  

Seriously. I should be imprisoned in the Behavioral Sciences division of the FBI for eternal observation due to my horribly sick and twisted sense of humor. I mean, seriously. There is no subject too sacred, no joke too dark, no humor too sick. I get the giggles at funerals....and that's the mildest.

[Wendy Moira Angela Pan]

I have a story. My grandfather died last July, and there wasn't much money for a funeral, so the service was held in this hokey little funeral home. It really was gross. The carpet was bright red and matted with age, and there were water stains on the walls. Some of us grandchildren were off in this little room to the side. It's hard to explain, but we weren't sitting in the pews with the rest of the mourners. Right before the service started, my husband got up to use the bathroom. About a minute into the eulogy, he came back from the bathroom, slid into the seat next to me and hissed in my ear, "There's a cockroach on the toilet seat!"

Oh man. I lost it. I was absolutely silent, but I laughed like a loon. And when I finally got a grip on myself, my husband nudged me and jerked his head toward the bathroom. The cockroach had emerged, and it was scuttling towards us. I looked around and realized all my cousins were watching it too, and we were all trying not to laugh. As soon as the cockroach got close enough, my husband, without moving any other part of his body, sort of kicked his leg out and stomped on the roach. I'm laughing even now just thinking of it. It was an extremely surreal moment.

[purplemuse]

I can't think of any examples right now, but my pastor has this knack for saying things in his sermons that aren't funny on their own, necessarily, but have some connection to an inside joke, or something funny I saw or heard recently.

So more than once, I've been sitting in church, trying desperately not to laugh because everyone would think I was either rude or insane.

[clairesmom77]

Thing 1:
I teach at a high school.  There is another teacher who is very very strange.  And when he talks, it's hilarious.  And he has no clue about what's going on around him.  In addition, he can't remember any of the student's names, so when speaking to one another about his class, the students call each other whatever "name" he calls them in class.  Usually, it's a name totally unrelated to their real name. 

I have a female student who does this impression of him that is so dead on . . it's uncanny.  (Note:  I heard this impression outside of school.  I also socialize with her parents, and she was telling a story about him at a BBQ, so I had no authority to tell her to stop.)  I can no longer talk to the other teacher without holding back a laugh.

On Friday, I witnessed him display genuine shock and awe that a student had a cell phone in which one can store phone numbers for future use.  I.lost.it.  I had to leave the room.

Thing 2:
When I was in college, I had this required class about teaching special needs kids.  There was this woman who thought she knew everything.  She went on and on about everything and was supremely annoying. 

On the first day, we had to write about why we chose to become teachers.  When the professor asked if anyone would like to share, of course her hand shot up.  She told this really long story about why she wants to be a teacher, and in it revealed a childhood nickname that she hated.  By the end of the story, she was sobbing.  It was so melodramatic and not the time or place for such a show.

By the end of the semester, everyone had had it with her.  One day, she started telling another story.  The guy behind me muttered, "Shut up, *childhood nickname*."  Those of us who heard it laughed out loud for a few seconds before catching ourselves.  Cue snickers for the rest of the class until we could get in the hall and really let loose.  During the class, I kept replaying the hilariousness in my mind and could barely keep myself in check. 

[Ygraine]

Darn near everything, which is why I keep getting into trouble.  

Seriously. I should be imprisoned in the Behavioral Sciences division of the FBI for eternal observation due to my horribly sick and twisted sense of humor. I mean, seriously. There is no subject too sacred, no joke too dark, no humor too sick. I get the giggles at funerals....and that's the mildest.

Scootch over - I'll be joining you. 

[LadyClaire]

Darn near everything, which is why I keep getting into trouble.  

Seriously. I should be imprisoned in the Behavioral Sciences division of the FBI for eternal observation due to my horribly sick and twisted sense of humor. I mean, seriously. There is no subject too sacred, no joke too dark, no humor too sick. I get the giggles at funerals....and that's the mildest.

Scootch over - I'll be joining you. 

I hope there's room for me in that prison.

[Kimblee]

One happened this morning.

I was talking to my cousin on speaker phone, and my other cousin was over with her baby. (I'd better give names... Phone cousin is Winkin, Cousin with Baby is Blinkin, and Winkin's daughter is Nod.)

So Winkin is telling me that Blinkin's new baby has been colicy, when I hear Nod suddenly say "Blinkin!Toddler has her head stuck in the barney potty again!"

Blinkin, without missing a beat "Six more weeks of PBS Fund drives!"

[M-theory]

I belong to the "everything is up for jokes at some point" school of thought because I cope with life by "whistling in the dark." I do try to keep my more offensive humour to myself, but I laugh inappropriately all the time.

My SO, who is Jewish and had relatives die in the Holocaust, once made a Holocaust joke. I gawped at him for a solid 5 seconds at least before laughing. (He's the kind of person who's genuinely kind and generous, but can be really "evil" in his thinking and practical jokes. I call him Stalin. When he recently asked why I call him Stalin, I said because he'd be offended if I called him Hitler. Then we both laughed inappropriately.)

[Sterling]

Right now I am going through one of those times in your life where everything I touch turns to crap.

Last night I realized my roomate has quit her job (for very good reason) and won't be able to pay rent, school this summer is looking like a no go and I am starting to fear I will never find a better job.

My boyfriend leaned in to kiss me and the second his lips touched mine I started laughing these huge donkey belly laughs.  He just sort of looked at me and I said "I just had a terrible thought.  the only thing left to go wrong is for you to tell me you are a woman."

He got really serious and said "No but I need to confess something. I am a polygamous with 5 wives and 14 children."

And this is why I date him.  Not that funny in writing but in the mood I was in it was exactly the right thing to say.

[Wendy Moira Angela Pan]

A couple of days ago, my sister and I were having a jokey argument on Facebook. One of her responses to me was, "*eye role*" and I wrote back "Don't you mean *eye roll*?" My husband jumped in to say, "See, Wendy, this is why nobody likes you."

[MaggieB]

Darn near everything, which is why I keep getting into trouble.  

Seriously. I should be imprisoned in the Behavioral Sciences division of the FBI for eternal observation due to my horribly sick and twisted sense of humor. I mean, seriously. There is no subject too sacred, no joke too dark, no humor too sick. I get the giggles at funerals....and that's the mildest.

Scootch over - I'll be joining you. 

I hope there's room for me in that prison.

Me too.  Once I was playing a board game with a group of my friends and one of the questions was "What is one thing that should never be joked about?"  I could not think of one thing.

I love it when people say "I have a dark sense of humor, but *blank* is just crossing the line!"  Not dark enough for me.