I also must know about the drunk vacumning story, I can’t for the life of me figure out what that must be – did someone get sucked into the vacumn??
As for the guy who blew one of his cerebral hemisphere onto the table, I might either be totally grossed out, or thinking, “Wow, so that’s what one of those looks like close up!”
Well, since you all asked nicely ...
Mothers Against Drunk Vacuuming was created while we were investigating the unattended death of an officer's wife in on-base housing. She was found dead at the foot of the staircase, wearing nothing but a wrap-front bathrobe with the sash untied, with a large upright vacuum partly on top of her, the cord extending down the stairs from an outlet at the top of the flight. Her blood alcohol level was .38.
Actual cause of death was a fracture at C1-C2, accompanied by a large fracture of the left parietal across the coronal suture with epidural hemorrhaging. In plain language, she was drunk to the point of incapacity, wearing a loose garment with high tripping potential, vacuuming the stairs while pulling the cord down behind her. We couldn't tell if she tripped over the cord, the hem of her robe, or the sash, or some combination thereof, but fall she did, hitting the left side of her head hard and breaking her neck at the bottom. I have no idea why she was vacuuming the stairs at 3am, alone, naked and drunk.
She had an extensive history of alcohol abuse, she was well known to us and to base security, and was known in base housing as a sort of snobby, drunken version of Dresser Queen - she called us for all kinds of things, ranging from "the kids are moving my lawn ornaments" to "a UFO just stole one of your planes." I have a lot of sympathy for people with substance abuse problems, but this woman ... well, she had a *long* history of problems, had been offered treatment many many times (for free), and just flat did not want to stop drinking. I think it gave her a sort of PA power over her husband and kids.
