Things that you just should NOT laugh at.

[M-theory]

We refer to fatal MVA (motor vehicle accidents) as "DRT" (Dead Right There). Once W3 and I had to respond to a motorcycle vs. locomotive accident scene; it wasn't pretty, as the victim was, well, in pieces. W4 called it "DRTTT" meaning "Dead Right There, There and There."  I miss him.

This reminds me of a joke!

An ambulance shows up at the scene of a MVA, only to discover that one of the passengers has been ejected from the car and is dead on top of an embankment. The paperwork later reads:

"The decedent was found dead on top of an enbankment inbank We moved him to a ditch."

[DangerMouth]

We refer to fatal MVA (motor vehicle accidents) as "DRT" (Dead Right There). Once W3 and I had to respond to a motorcycle vs. locomotive accident scene; it wasn't pretty, as the victim was, well, in pieces. W4 called it "DRTTT" meaning "Dead Right There, There and There."  I miss him.

<snort!>

Yes, thank you. It isn't that some things aren't truly terrible and horrifying and almost beyond bearing, but that laughter really can help, especially if you can bond with others over it.

[HeebyJeebyLeebee]

Vorbau, please please please share your "Mothers Against Drunk Vacuuming" story.

Pretty please?  With sugar on top?

[kingsrings]

There are videos in YouTube featuring Hitler and the SS marching to the Imperial March. I think this tune suits them well. Sorry if anyone finds this offensive- but that is THE background music used nowadays to depict any kind of villain/trouble, and who is more regarded as a universal villain than Hitler and the Nazis?

There is also one YT video of Hitler giving a speech. But he's singing the theme song to 'The Jeffersons'. Someone did a fantastic job of editing it to make every single word of the song and his gestures perfectly match each other. My brother sprung this on me one day when we were browsing the Net together. He asked me if I knew that Hitler was also a singer, and there is a rare clip of it on YT. Sorry, but it is HILARIOUS!! And I will never listen to that song the same way ever again...

[kingsrings]

I also must know about the drunk vacumning story, I can’t for the life of me figure out what that must be – did someone get sucked into the vacumn??

As for the guy who blew one of his cerebral hemisphere onto the table, I might either be totally grossed out, or thinking, “Wow, so that’s what one of those looks like close up!”

[clairesmom77]

BG -- My husband works from home for a major corporation.  His home office is at the end of a short hallway.  Our bedroom is the first room off the hallway.  So the distance is very close.

Well, today I was cleaning out our dresser.  DH was on the phone.  I accidentally slammed my fingers in a dresser drawer and shouted "Owwwww!  **Naughty word!***  I slapped my hand over my mouth and began laughing like a loon. 

Now, this is NOT funny.  I mean how unprofessional is it to have your wife yell a very bad curse word during a conference call?  And yet, I couldn't stop laughing.

DH comes stomping down the hallway.  Hisses "That was nice!" while his headset was on mute.  He sees me laughing, I try to say sorry through my laughter.  He just  and walks away.

FWIW, We did a "test" in which I yell Naughty Word from the bedroom.  It could not be heard though his headset in the office during the test, so hopefully none of his co-workers heard it. 

[Amava]

Vorbau, you just reminded me of when my cousin commited suicide, only it wasn't neat, there were blood and brains everywhere, wall, ceiling, floor. It was Easter Sunday morning, and for some reason it never occurred to my aunt to get one of those bio-cleaning services in. My cousins and I all trooped downstairs with mops and buckets to clean it up.

I can't even remember the jokes we told that day, aside from "he lost his mind- all over the ceiling", but they were many, and baaad, and we laughed ourselves sick.

I love my cousins on my dad's side, we're all twisted in the same way.

I think in a situation like that, you have the choice between dark humor and going insane.

[Boots]

Okay. My Sil has a severly autistic son.  He says the funniest things.  One of the things he has done since he was little was "No "W"!

This came about because he had a phonetic alphabet toy and the "w' key would not work so everytime he came to it he would wail, No W!  He's 19 now and he still does it when something is not going his way and we try not to laugh......so my kids use it when I tell them to clean their room, mow the lawn, empty the dishwasher, and I get a chorus of "No W!!!!"

My Sil thinks it's funny!

[vorbau]

I also must know about the drunk vacumning story, I can’t for the life of me figure out what that must be – did someone get sucked into the vacumn??

As for the guy who blew one of his cerebral hemisphere onto the table, I might either be totally grossed out, or thinking, “Wow, so that’s what one of those looks like close up!”

Well, since you all asked nicely ...

Mothers Against Drunk Vacuuming was created while we were investigating the unattended death of an officer's wife in on-base housing. She was found dead at the foot of the staircase, wearing nothing but a wrap-front bathrobe with the sash untied, with a large upright vacuum partly on top of her, the cord extending down the stairs from an outlet at the top of the flight. Her blood alcohol level was .38.

Actual cause of death was a fracture at C1-C2, accompanied by a large fracture of the left parietal across the coronal suture with epidural hemorrhaging. In plain language, she was drunk to the point of incapacity, wearing a loose garment with high tripping potential, vacuuming the stairs while pulling the cord down behind her. We couldn't tell if she tripped over the cord, the hem of her robe, or the sash, or some combination thereof, but fall she did, hitting the left side of her head hard and breaking her neck at the bottom. I have no idea why she was vacuuming the stairs at 3am, alone, naked and drunk.

She had an extensive history of alcohol abuse, she was well known to us and to base security, and was known in base housing as a sort of snobby, drunken version of Dresser Queen - she called us for all kinds of things, ranging from "the kids are moving my lawn ornaments" to "a UFO just stole one of your planes." I have a lot of sympathy for people with substance abuse problems, but this woman ... well, she had a *long* history of problems, had been offered treatment many many times (for free), and just flat did not want to stop drinking. I think it gave her a sort of PA power over her husband and kids.

[DangerMouth]

So it was a VWI? 

[Amava]

Wow. Vaccuuming the stairs is already dangerous enough when one is sober (well, when one is as clumsy has as bad balance as me).

[Nora]

Vorbau: can I just thank you for all the color you bring into my life?

[hermanne]

Okay, I just gotta say that some of these belong in the gross-out thread.

Vorbau, I think yours would top the squirel puddles.

[vorbau]

Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week. 

If y'all don't think it would be, um, overkill, I'll put the BFO and VWI in Gross Out as well. I guess DRTTT could go there, too.

And DH just suggested I add another one, but I think it belongs in Gross Out for sure. Don't adjust your set...

[funnybunny]

In church one Sunday, our minister was preaching about the simple joys to be found while perusing the thoughts of Charlie Brown, Snoopy, Lucy, and the gang.

He announced loudly from the pulpit:  I love P*e*n*i*s.
I had to leave.  But there were many, many shaking shoulders in the seats!