Things that you just should NOT laugh at.

[Animala]

This is about the dead dog, but it's really OK.

My parents have a small, black, fluffy, cute as all get out, sweet as candy schipperke.  (Apparently they are suppose to be mean dogs?)  In the years that I was living away from home she has aged a good deal. She's nearly blind.  She doesn't hear that well.  She gets lost in the house and forgets what she's doing.  Thankfully for the most part she's still house trained. 

Anyway, after moving back in I walked into my parents bedroom and she was laying on the bed not breathing and when I touched her she was in full rigor mortis!   Agh!  I yelled down the hall for my mom, turned around and the dog had her head up looking at me.  Ok I freaked.  Come to find out that's how she is when she sleeps now.  I could have sworn she was dead.  Dad confessed that he pokes her all the time to make sure she's still with us and it's turned into a joke.

Schipperkes are mean? I've never met one who wasn't a total sweetheart. My former neighbors had one who was a bit volatile when they adopted her, but after she was diagnosed with heartworm and treated, she did a complete turnaround and became a major love muffin.

They are smart dogs, too. Sounds as if your parents' dog truly knows the meaning of "play dead."

We were talking about that tonight at dinner.  Mom said that from what she's heard it's typically male Schipperkes that are more aggressive.  I don't know, but I'm totally sold on the breed.  Ours is just a wonderful little companion even with all her physical issues.

[purplemuse]

At my college graduation, a list was read of alumni who had died that year.

One of the deceased had a strange sounding name, and when I heard a woman behind me ask rather loudly:  "Did he just say 'Yuck, the Man'?" I lost it a little.

Because the name really did sound like "Yuck, the Man."

[Enigmatism]

Whilst waiting outside the crematorium for my Great Aunts funeral DSis1 mentioned she was cold. Mum replied, without thinking, 'Don't worry I'm sure they have heating inside.' Then DSis2 spotted a sign that read 'Late mourners please use side entrance.' That did it for us!
Had my Aunt still been with us she'd have been at the back of the crowd snickering too! 

[rhirhi]

I was watching a commercial for a documentary on Hitler and the Nazi regime and was talking to DH about a conversation we'd had earlier about Hitler's early life. I told DH that Hitler had attempted to enroll in an Art school and was rejected. I was joking that 'Those guys probably got fired...literally. That just sounds wrong' and started laughing.

  I have a very evil side sometimes.

[Ferrets]

Running battle scenes from Zulu through the Benny Hillifier.

(Given the amount of scampering about and close-quarters scuffling going on, it works alarmingly well. Though I completely lost it when a rank of redcoats all aimed their Martini-Henrys perfectly on the beat.)

[suzieQ]

When I miscarried my second pregnancy, it was during an ice storm. We were stuck at home and unable to get to the Dr. office (live on a mountain and if it's icy we are stuck). So Dr. told us to preserve what I had passed so they could test it. I stuck it in the freezer and we proceeded to joke about "baby back ribs" for the weekend.

[Kimblee]

When I miscarried my second pregnancy, it was during an ice storm. We were stuck at home and unable to get to the Dr. office (live on a mountain and if it's icy we are stuck). So Dr. told us to preserve what I had passed so they could test it. I stuck it in the freezer and we proceeded to joke about "baby back ribs" for the weekend.

You are sick.

But I think i might love you for it. Laughter is so much better than crying.

[Clara Bow]

I learned it "But Adolf Eichmann has no b***s at all!"

What about Baumann? Does he get to have Spauldings?

[Miss Misery]

My dad has a rather *ahem* interesting sense of humor. For example, the news will announce 200 people died in {insert disaster here}. Dad will say, "Well, that's 200 more parking spaces!"

Yes, my family is warped. 

[Miss Vertigo]

the Benny Hillifier.

ZOMG. I am going to get nothing done today. I also love you for posting this.
 

[Layla Miller]

DH is a pastor.  I don't know if that makes this story better or worse. 

Last week, DH was making pancakes and--as he often does--made up new lyrics to a song as he was cooking a la Weird Al.*  He chose the hymn "Softly and Tenderly Jesus is Calling" when he realized "Calling for you and for me" changed so easily to "Pancakes for you and for me."  I teased him a little about how sacrilegious he was, but aside from a few giggles we didn't think much of it.

Guess what hymn was sung at the following Sunday service?  Oh, I had trouble keeping a straight face during that one.


* Early in our relationship, he endeared me to him by coming up with "In the Middle of my Soup," to the tune of Billy Joel's "In the Middle of the Night" as he heated up some chicken noodle soup for us both.  DH's version featured more oyster crackers than the original.

[pierrotlunaire0]

Back when the Jonestown mass suicide hit the news, my father was at the barber's getting his hair cut.  Another customer asked him if he would be able to drink strychnine-laced Kool-Aid.  "eHell, no," my father answered, "I can't stand Kool Aid."

[Sirius]

DH is a pastor.  I don't know if that makes this story better or worse. 

Last week, DH was making pancakes and--as he often does--made up new lyrics to a song as he was cooking a la Weird Al.*  He chose the hymn "Softly and Tenderly Jesus is Calling" when he realized "Calling for you and for me" changed so easily to "Pancakes for you and for me."  I teased him a little about how sacrilegious he was, but aside from a few giggles we didn't think much of it.

Guess what hymn was sung at the following Sunday service?  Oh, I had trouble keeping a straight face during that one.


* Early in our rel@tionship, he endeared me to him by coming up with "In the Middle of my Soup," to the tune of Billy Joel's "In the Middle of the Night" as he heated up some chicken noodle soup for us both.  DH's version featured more oyster crackers than the original.

Now I've got "Softly and Tenderly going through my head.

[JonGirl]

DH is a pastor.  I don't know if that makes this story better or worse. 

Last week, DH was making pancakes and--as he often does--made up new lyrics to a song as he was cooking a la Weird Al.*  He chose the hymn "Softly and Tenderly Jesus is Calling" when he realized "Calling for you and for me" changed so easily to "Pancakes for you and for me."  I teased him a little about how sacrilegious he was, but aside from a few giggles we didn't think much of it.

Guess what hymn was sung at the following Sunday service?  Oh, I had trouble keeping a straight face during that one.


* Early in our rel@tionship, he endeared me to him by coming up with "In the Middle of my Soup," to the tune of Billy Joel's "In the Middle of the Night" as he heated up some chicken noodle soup for us both.  DH's version featured more oyster crackers than the original.

For some reason that is really funny. 

Now I've got "Softly and Tenderly going through my head.

[Layla Miller]

DH is a pastor.  I don't know if that makes this story better or worse. 

Last week, DH was making pancakes and--as he often does--made up new lyrics to a song as he was cooking a la Weird Al.*  He chose the hymn "Softly and Tenderly Jesus is Calling" when he realized "Calling for you and for me" changed so easily to "Pancakes for you and for me."  I teased him a little about how sacrilegious he was, but aside from a few giggles we didn't think much of it.

Guess what hymn was sung at the following Sunday service?  Oh, I had trouble keeping a straight face during that one.


* Early in our rel@tionship, he endeared me to him by coming up with "In the Middle of my Soup," to the tune of Billy Joel's "In the Middle of the Night" as he heated up some chicken noodle soup for us both.  DH's version featured more oyster crackers than the original.

For some reason that is really funny. 

Now I've got "Softly and Tenderly going through my head.

It really really was.    (Incidentally, I just realized I mixed up the title and the first line of the song--the actual title is "River of Dreams."  Oops!)

Sirius: with or without the pancakes?