Author Topic: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.  (Read 387742 times)

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Shea

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #300 on: January 22, 2011, 04:04:07 PM »
Went to a funeral today. The gentleman died of a very rapid form of cancer. His SO said that at the end, when she was sitting with him, she said "Honey, I really didn't think you would go first. I thought you would give me a heart attack."

He replied "Don't worry. There's still time."

I only hope I can be that amazing when it's my time to go.


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Seraphia

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #301 on: January 22, 2011, 05:55:38 PM »
My aunt once told me a story way long ago about my cousin when he was a toddler. She realized she needed to control her language around him when one day out of the blue he started slapping the tray of his high chair while repeatedly shouting out the 'GD' word. Every time I think of what that must have sounded like, I'm not horrified by this little kid screaming out cussing like that. I'm sorry to say, I find myself giggling....

My niece did that! We were all sitting around the table, just chilling out, when niece started singing to herself under her breath. One word, over and over and over. The S dash dash dash word. Over and over. We didn't want to make a fuss, since that would've just made her fixate on it more, but oh, we laughed afterwards. She has her Daddy's mouth and her Momma's language. :)
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mechtilde

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #302 on: January 26, 2011, 05:36:52 AM »
We had some grab hands in the shop at work. You know- a sort of platic hand, and when you pull the handle is pulled the fingers close?

A little girl told me one wasn't working. The sting connecting to one of the fingers wasn't properly attached, so every time you pulled the lever it made an obscene gesture. I thanked her for telling me, took it into the stockroom, put it in the wasted/damaged stock box and laughed like a drain, before composing myself and going out again.
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Gyburc

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #303 on: January 26, 2011, 06:54:41 AM »
DH and I were recently introduced to the motherlode of things that you Should Not Laugh At - Stephen Lynch. Very good guitarist, beautiful voice, and the sickest sense of humour I've ever come across.

Quite a few of his numbers are on YouTube, but really, really, don't go there if you are easily offended. (Especially not to The Gerbil Song.)


Would he be similiar to Tom Leher? http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Tom-Lehrer-lyrics/00AAF31EC6C79B4548256A7D0028A9E0

Great - another Lehrer fan! My mum was a big fan, and I know quite a few of the songs by heart.

Stephen Lynch is definitely as funny IMHO but lots more obscenities, and some really, really sick jokes on all kinds of very sensitive topics.



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NutMeg

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #304 on: January 26, 2011, 05:44:21 PM »
We had some grab hands in the shop at work. You know- a sort of platic hand, and when you pull the handle is pulled the fingers close?

A little girl told me one wasn't working. The sting connecting to one of the fingers wasn't properly attached, so every time you pulled the lever it made an obscene gesture. I thanked her for telling me, took it into the stockroom, put it in the wasted/damaged stock box and laughed like a drain, before composing myself and going out again.

Why didn't you keep it?!
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LadyClaire

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #305 on: January 28, 2011, 01:21:51 PM »
We have a symposium every year at work with speakers who are experts in a particular field. One of our associates recommended a particular professor from a different University who is supposed to be an excellent speaker.

When I went to the University's website to track down his information to send him a letter of invitation, I found a memorial page. Apparently he had died earlier that year. When my boss asked if I'd sent the letter yet, I said "Uh..well..slight problem with that one..he's..well..deceased."

My boss speaks english as a second language, and what I'd said didn't quite click right away. He sort of stared at me for a few seconds and then said "Oh..you mean..he is no more?"

I was so tempted to launch into the parrot routine from Monty Python, but figured that wouldn't go over very well.

Morticia

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #306 on: January 28, 2011, 02:13:57 PM »
We have a symposium every year at work with speakers who are experts in a particular field. One of our associates recommended a particular professor from a different University who is supposed to be an excellent speaker.

When I went to the University's website to track down his information to send him a letter of invitation, I found a memorial page. Apparently he had died earlier that year. When my boss asked if I'd sent the letter yet, I said "Uh..well..slight problem with that one..he's..well..deceased."

My boss speaks english as a second language, and what I'd said didn't quite click right away. He sort of stared at me for a few seconds and then said "Oh..you mean..he is no more?"

I was so tempted to launch into the parrot routine from Monty Python, but figured that wouldn't go over very well.

Yes, he's passed on.
Now our mom says she's changed her mind about the devil's brood, they may be evil so she thinks, but at least they're never rude...
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Ms_Cellany

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #307 on: January 28, 2011, 02:32:53 PM »
We have a symposium every year at work with speakers who are experts in a particular field. One of our associates recommended a particular professor from a different University who is supposed to be an excellent speaker.

When I went to the University's website to track down his information to send him a letter of invitation, I found a memorial page. Apparently he had died earlier that year. When my boss asked if I'd sent the letter yet, I said "Uh..well..slight problem with that one..he's..well..deceased."

My boss speaks english as a second language, and what I'd said didn't quite click right away. He sort of stared at me for a few seconds and then said "Oh..you mean..he is no more?"

I was so tempted to launch into the parrot routine from Monty Python, but figured that wouldn't go over very well.

Yes, he's passed on.

He has rung the curtain and joined the choir invisible.
Using a chainsaw is as close as we come to having a lightsaber in this life.

M-theory

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #308 on: January 28, 2011, 02:35:12 PM »
We have a symposium every year at work with speakers who are experts in a particular field. One of our associates recommended a particular professor from a different University who is supposed to be an excellent speaker.

When I went to the University's website to track down his information to send him a letter of invitation, I found a memorial page. Apparently he had died earlier that year. When my boss asked if I'd sent the letter yet, I said "Uh..well..slight problem with that one..he's..well..deceased."

My boss speaks english as a second language, and what I'd said didn't quite click right away. He sort of stared at me for a few seconds and then said "Oh..you mean..he is no more?"

I was so tempted to launch into the parrot routine from Monty Python, but figured that wouldn't go over very well.

Yes, he's passed on.

He has rung the curtain and joined the choir invisible.

He's an ex-professor.

snowfire

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #309 on: January 28, 2011, 05:11:18 PM »
He's on a permanent sabbatical.

Julia S

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #310 on: January 28, 2011, 09:18:02 PM »
Gone to teach at the University in the Sky.

kitty-cat

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #311 on: January 28, 2011, 09:26:04 PM »
Hopefully he isn't stuck grading papers underground.




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White Dragon

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #312 on: January 29, 2011, 12:23:52 AM »
He was in the music department, and now he's decomposing.

Martienne

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #313 on: January 29, 2011, 02:47:45 AM »
My aunt once told me a story way long ago about my cousin when he was a toddler. She realized she needed to control her language around him when one day out of the blue he started slapping the tray of his high chair while repeatedly shouting out the 'GD' word. Every time I think of what that must have sounded like, I'm not horrified by this little kid screaming out cussing like that. I'm sorry to say, I find myself giggling....

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/74/the-landlord-from-will-ferrell-and-adam-ghost-panther-mckay

(They explain in this article that they were able to do that because Pearl was going through a stage where she would parrot phrases and not remember them. http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20035511,00.html)

momof2bratz

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #314 on: February 03, 2011, 02:07:03 PM »
I always have a hard time controlling my giggles around the kiddos, knowing that I need a straight face in order to act dissaproving, but finding it oh so difficult at times! When DD was 4 and it was a pretty wet and wild day outside, I discovered that I really needed to watch my language around her more carefully. She turned to me with an innocent smile and said "wow mum, it's really p*****g down outside!". Cue me trying to keep a straight face while explaining that was not the most polite way to phrase things.

Another one, this time from the school. As a teaching assistant, I often encounter issues where you know you can't laugh, but oh so want to. A few months back we were taking the kids down to lunch. One of the boys went running to the cloakroom to hang up his coat and then decided to jump his way back to us. As he jumped across the floor his trousers suddenly fell foul of gravity, and ended up around his ankles by the time he'd made it to the line with out him being aware. Needless to say, I had to turn away for a moment to compose myself!