Things that you just should NOT laugh at.

[Golden Phoenix]

Two come to mind:

Hubby and I had had a huge fight, a door-slammin', rip-roarin', neigbour-scarin' dust up. We stood in the living room glaring at each other during a lull in the arguement, he was breathing heavily, I was crying and snarling simultaneously.
All was silence for a moment.
And then the dog farted.
A huge drawn out expulsion that would make any bovine proud. Frrrrrrrrrrrppppppppppttttttrrrrrrrrhhhhh!
We stared at each other in shock and broke down laughing, we couldn't speak or even stand properly, we clung to each other, weak at the knees and laughed all the anger out.

Second was my biological dad's funeral. It was a lovely ceremony but the vicar had to deliver the eulogy, and he had a cough...

"Robin *cough* was a kind man, beloved by *cough* all. He spent his youth *cough*...." and so on. Someone whispered "get that man a glass of water" and I stifled a giggle.

Then the vicar said that Rob was born in 1990....which made him significantly younger than me, his youngest child. I began giggling out loud, along with his widow and eldest daughter.

Then the names started going wrong...

"Ron was a loving father"
"Rob!" hissed the widow.
"Uh, yes, Rob. Now, when i spoke with his children they told me the thing *cough* they remembered most about Ray was..."
"Rob" growled the son
"Uh, *cough* yes, Now Reg..."
"Rob!" chorused the family

I nearly died trying not to laugh out loud.

Then he got my unusual name wrong three times in a row despite corrections

"He leaves his youngest, Tina"
"Tara"
"Yes, Tina who is..."
"Tara!"
"Right, and Tina's *cough* half brother..."
"Tara!!!"

At this point the entire family were laughing and crying in equal measure, i developed hiccups, unfortunately i sound like a yapping chihuahua when i hiccup, that was fuel for more laughter.

Somewhere up there Rob's sitting on a cloud with a beer in one hand, pointing and laughing like a mad man with the other.

[Dazi]

The funniest thing I ever experienced at a funeral was when a little kid let loose one of those wind up type fire trucks. Lights and sirens blaring down the middle of the aisle and it stopped when it hit the coffin. 

*Silence* 

Then everyone started laughing.

[tiff019]

Two come to mind:

Hubby and I had had a huge fight, a door-slammin', rip-roarin', neigbour-scarin' dust up. We stood in the living room glaring at each other during a lull in the arguement, he was breathing heavily, I was crying and snarling simultaneously.
All was silence for a moment.
And then the dog farted.
A huge drawn out expulsion that would make any bovine proud. Frrrrrrrrrrrppppppppppttttttrrrrrrrrhhhhh!
We stared at each other in shock and broke down laughing, we couldn't speak or even stand properly, we clung to each other, weak at the knees and laughed all the anger out.

This has me literally tearing up here at work!!! I can totally picture the dog looking around like 'What?' at your reactions!!!

[afbluebelle]

http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=112704.45

Post #54 - Dave's Dad


First of all, I must add the disclaimer that if Dave and his father (Dave's Dad) hadn't laughed at this incident after it happened and for several years now, I wouldn't be posting it. On to the story....

 (paint balling is shooting little balls filled with paint at each other with compressed air guns. Non lethal, but very stingy)

One beautiful Colorado summer afternoon, a core group of us went out paint balling on our friend Flander's ranch property. Lots of trees, boulders, hills, and a nice creek for a water obstacle. Dave brought his dad, because his dad always liked going to the paint balling place with us (warehouse, maze type place)

I was up a tree with low enough branches to bail if cornered, and we played full camo/face paint/no protectors for outdoor concealment. Dave was in this depression/dry ditch laying in wait with a homemade ghillie suit. Dave's Dad and our buddy John came walking towards our positions, and they were getting really close. I had a good point on John, so I shot at him a few times. I got a chest and a neck shot, and that knocked him on his rear. He was trying to catch his breath (Did I mention these things HURT? Especially in the neck...) and Dave's Dad got a... look. A very odd look.

Dave couldn't see his face, as he was lying in wait still, and his dad was facing away from him. Dave chose this time to Light.Him.Up. Like, Picasso was trying to gun down Rembrandt with paint. Dave's Dad let out an inhuman yell, spouted off a few colorful anti-NVA phrases and ran over to Dave.

His dad pinned him to the ground by his neck with his foot, and shoots him. Repeatedly. While yelling incohorent phrases. John stops blubbering and sits there in shock, I fall out the tree, and Dave is just telling him "Dad, get back here!"



Dave's Dad runs out of ammo and stands there... looks at all of us and says "Gotcha. That's what you get for shooting a man in the back like a "explicative deleted".

To this day, I don't know if he was really "back there" or if he was just teaching his son a really weird life lesson. But we never took Dave's Dad paint balling in the great outdoors again. However, John still whines if he gets shot in the neck.  Pansy

[hermanne]

While reading the preg-zilla thread just now, there was an ad on the page for forklift rentals.

[Slartibartfast]

While reading the preg-zilla thread just now, there was an ad on the page for forklift rentals.

LOL!  I think I'm getting to the point in my pregnancy now where I might have to look up that banner ad . . .

[deadbody]

This was a couple years ago.  My grandfather had dementia.  He was on the waiting list for the nursing home and wasn't terrible yet, but needed someone with him.  My grandma was going with my parents somewhere on an overnight trip and asked me to sleep on their couch and make sure Grandpa didn't do anything too stupid.

He was still lucid enough at times to realize that he wasn't always being treated like an adult.  This was one of those times.  He knew I was there to in effect babysit him, and he was unhappy.  Got very upset and demanded that I leave.  Instead of upsetting him further I left and called my uncle who lived across the street and asked him to keep an eye out.

When Grandma got home Grandpa told her how mean I was.  How I wouldn't let him leave, and I hit him with a brick (obviously false claim).

When she was reiterating the story to me my first response was "I thought you said he didn't remember stuff."

I have never seen my grandmother laugh so hard in my life.

[twoferrets]

I was at the gym a while back, minding my own business on an elliptical.  The row of ellipticals is right behind the row of treadmills.  I noticed a smallish man cautiously approach a treadmill.  He started experimentally pushing buttons and faded from notice as I got sucked back into whatever was on the gym's TVs at the time.

Then I hear this "whup... whup... whup" sound, the unmistakable sound of a treadmill (and the runner using it) speeding up.  It just gets faster and faster and I look just in time to see this guy pitch forward onto the belt (because it was going so fast it took his legs out from under him), fly off the back of the machine like he's wearing a malfunctioning jetpack, and slam into the elliptical behind him.  This all happened so fast that that no one could do anything to stop it-- it took maybe 5 seconds from the first "whup" to impact.  By the time the woman at the treadmill right next to him started frantically slapping the emergency stop button, he was already picking himself up off the floor.

Bless his heart, he got back up and back onto the treadmill.  I was trying so hard not to laugh, and to look anywhere but at him, so I glance off to my left... where there's a dignified looking silver-haired gentleman looking right back at me, hand clamped over his own mouth, clearly just about dying from the stiffled giggles.  I spent the rest of my workout staring intently at the calorie gauge.

[NyaChan]

I was at the gym a while back, minding my own business on an elliptical.  The row of ellipticals is right behind the row of treadmills.  I noticed a smallish man cautiously approach a treadmill.  He started experimentally pushing buttons and faded from notice as I got sucked back into whatever was on the gym's TVs at the time.

Then I hear this "whup... whup... whup" sound, the unmistakable sound of a treadmill (and the runner using it) speeding up.  It just gets faster and faster and I look just in time to see this guy pitch forward onto the belt (because it was going so fast it took his legs out from under him), fly off the back of the machine like he's wearing a malfunctioning jetpack, and slam into the elliptical behind him.  This all happened so fast that that no one could do anything to stop it-- it took maybe 5 seconds from the first "whup" to impact.  By the time the woman at the treadmill right next to him started frantically slapping the emergency stop button, he was already picking himself up off the floor.

Bless his heart, he got back up and back onto the treadmill.  I was trying so hard not to laugh, and to look anywhere but at him, so I glance off to my left... where there's a dignified looking silver-haired gentleman looking right back at me, hand clamped over his own mouth, clearly just about dying from the stiffled giggles.  I spent the rest of my workout staring intently at the calorie gauge.

I must say I am in awe of your self control 

[Mental Magpie]

I was at the gym a while back, minding my own business on an elliptical.  The row of ellipticals is right behind the row of treadmills.  I noticed a smallish man cautiously approach a treadmill.  He started experimentally pushing buttons and faded from notice as I got sucked back into whatever was on the gym's TVs at the time.

Then I hear this "whup... whup... whup" sound, the unmistakable sound of a treadmill (and the runner using it) speeding up.  It just gets faster and faster and I look just in time to see this guy pitch forward onto the belt (because it was going so fast it took his legs out from under him), fly off the back of the machine like he's wearing a malfunctioning jetpack, and slam into the elliptical behind him.  This all happened so fast that that no one could do anything to stop it-- it took maybe 5 seconds from the first "whup" to impact.  By the time the woman at the treadmill right next to him started frantically slapping the emergency stop button, he was already picking himself up off the floor.

Bless his heart, he got back up and back onto the treadmill.  I was trying so hard not to laugh, and to look anywhere but at him, so I glance off to my left... where there's a dignified looking silver-haired gentleman looking right back at me, hand clamped over his own mouth, clearly just about dying from the stiffled giggles.  I spent the rest of my workout staring intently at the calorie gauge.

I must say I am in awe of your self control 

As am I!  I think it would have been even harder to not laugh after catching the other man's eye!

[Diane AKA Traska]

I was at the gym a while back, minding my own business on an elliptical.  The row of ellipticals is right behind the row of treadmills.  I noticed a smallish man cautiously approach a treadmill.  He started experimentally pushing buttons and faded from notice as I got sucked back into whatever was on the gym's TVs at the time.

Then I hear this "whup... whup... whup" sound, the unmistakable sound of a treadmill (and the runner using it) speeding up.  It just gets faster and faster and I look just in time to see this guy pitch forward onto the belt (because it was going so fast it took his legs out from under him), fly off the back of the machine like he's wearing a malfunctioning jetpack, and slam into the elliptical behind him.  This all happened so fast that that no one could do anything to stop it-- it took maybe 5 seconds from the first "whup" to impact.  By the time the woman at the treadmill right next to him started frantically slapping the emergency stop button, he was already picking himself up off the floor.

Bless his heart, he got back up and back onto the treadmill.  I was trying so hard not to laugh, and to look anywhere but at him, so I glance off to my left... where there's a dignified looking silver-haired gentleman looking right back at me, hand clamped over his own mouth, clearly just about dying from the stiffled giggles.  I spent the rest of my workout staring intently at the calorie gauge.

I must say I am in awe of your self control 

As am I!  I think it would have been even harder to not laugh after catching the other man's eye!

Was this at ACME Fitness Center, by any chance?

But oh yeah, I would *not* have been able to stop myself.  Especially if it had happened a second time.
"Whup whup whup CRASH."
...
...
"Whup whup whup CRASH."

[P-p-p-penguin]

I've been in the gym when someone fell off the treadmill. I was on a bike a row or so in front with headphones on and still heard him fall. I turned to see him laughing at himself whilst getting back on. I figured if he was laughing about it then I was ok to discreetly crack a grin!

[Black Delphinium]

On a similar note, I laughed my butt of in middle school gym class when a classmate's foot came off during kickball.(he has a fake lower leg, and the foot broke off and went flying on his "at bat")

[Thipu1]

There's a new ad on TV that always makes me giggle.

It's a serious pitch for a product named 'Super Beta-Prostate' and the name is repeated at least half a dozen times.  The problem is that the name reminds me too much of 'Vita-Meata-Vegemin'.

[Mental Magpie]

There's a new ad on TV that always makes me giggle.

It's a serious pitch for a product named 'Super Beta-Prostate' and the name is repeated at least half a dozen times.  The problem is that the name reminds me too much of 'Vita-Meata-Vegemin'.

  I just had an awful mental image of Lucile Ball and an exam...but it made me laugh nonetheless!