Things that you just should NOT laugh at.

[Mental Magpie]

Now that it has happened, I feel really badly for the guy on the other end of the phone.

I answered the phone and he ask for Dark Dad.  I was so taken aback and confused that I blurted out, "He's dead."  Then I started to laugh as the guy began to profusely apologize.  I immediately realized that I probably sent the poor guy into shock and started to backpedal (so to speak) rather quickly.  "Oh, he's been dead for a few years, don't worry about it *as he is apologizing to me*."  Unfortunately, I just kept laughing as I explained to him that it really wasn't a big deal, no need to apologize, he just caught me off guard and sorry I'm still laughing, but when he asked for Dark Dad I was completely surprised.  I'm still kind of laughing at it, I won't lie.

[nalapuppy]

After reading all 94 pages, this is now one of my favorite threads!  So many funny stories...even if some of them shouldn't be 

[White Dragon]

DragonDaughter had a dental appointment today.

She was pretty apprehensive about the procedure so the dentist prescribed a mild sedative.
DragonDaughter took the sedative and says she pretty much dozed through the entire appointment.

Mostly.
We had this exchange on the way home:

DragonDaughter "They were playing 'Piano Man' in there for a while."
Me 'I know, I heard it in the lobby. But I didn't sing along though." 

DragonDaughter "I did."
Me:  "In your head, right?"

DragonDaughter "No, out loud" and then, reassuringly "Don't worry, it was only when they weren't mucking around in my mouth." 

Lucky dentist!
Now I understand the odd smile when the dentist brought her out and said *very cheerfully* "She did just fine! More than fine actually!"
 

I am *so* keeping this for blackmail!

[Jones]

I am so glad to have somewhere I can share this...I don't know many people in real life with **quite** the right sense of humor (most would look at me scandalously).

My husband and young DD play a version of "I Spy" that involves descriptive phrases only. It's been great for her vocabulary and searching skills.

One day DH told her to find something "long and springy". He was referring to her slinky.

My brother and SIL came in the door. "Uncle! Is there something long and springy in here?"

"Just my p*nis."

Cue sharp intake of breath from my DH and SIL, followed by a sigh of exasperation and an eye roll from DD. "NO, uncle. Something LONG and springy. It has to be LONG."

DH says that he was about to take my brother out back for a "speaking" to but laughed so hard at DD's comment he just couldn't. Knowing my SIL, my brother was properly chastised later.

(I should make note that the only p*nis my daughter has seen is her baby brother's, during diaper change, and we use anatomically correct names for these things.)

[Nika]

Jones wins!  (Or rather, her daughter wins)

[vorbau]

I am so glad you all exist.

As I posted elsewhere, my father is dying. I went out to see him the day after Mother's Day, and among other things took care of the necessary legal and business arrangements. These included arranging for cremation with the Neptune Society (fondly referred to in our family as "Bake & Shake") and disposition of his remains (in my mother's vault).

While at the Neptune Society, I said to the woman helping me, "You know, you all have done my grandpa, grandma, my mom, my mom's uncle, and my dad's brother. Do I get a volume discount for Dad?"

I think she wanted to laugh but was afraid somebody would hear her.

[Luci45]

When my dad, my daughter, and I went to pick out my mother's tombstone, the salesperson was looking at where her plot was and said something about being close to the Smiths and that they are really nice people.

I said, "Oh. It's great to have good neighbors."

It did not go well, but my 3 month old daughter laughed.

[Piratelvr1121]

Anybody else picture the wedding scene in 'The Princess Bride' while watching the Royal Wedding?

Yeah, that was good for a few giggles.

Mawwige...

Mawwidge is what bwings us twogevvew...  today.

Just found this one and remembered my friend's wedding. 
I went with a couple male friends who sat on either side of me.  Jules walks up the aisle in her lovely gown.  Her soon-to-be husband meets her at the front.  They turn to the minister and he starts the service....

"Mawage, that bwessed awangment,..."  I have no idea what else for about 5 minutes because I couldn't breath for fear my giggles would overtake the ceremony.  As I calm down, I hear...

"So tweasure your wuv..."  Both guys elbow me HARD.  So I miss most the rest of the sermon.

Found out later the pastor was from Lithuania or some such and that was how he talked.  I near-wept when I had to shake hands with him at the reception.

CRUD MONKEYS!, I would be in tears from trying not to laugh, and of course the giggle loop would take effect (the more you try not to laugh, the more you want to) and I'd have to tell people I'm in tears because it's all so beautiful. 

[Nikko-chan]

Anybody else picture the wedding scene in 'The Princess Bride' while watching the Royal Wedding?

Yeah, that was good for a few giggles.

Mawwige...

Mawwidge is what bwings us twogevvew...  today.

Just found this one and remembered my friend's wedding. 
I went with a couple male friends who sat on either side of me.  Jules walks up the aisle in her lovely gown.  Her soon-to-be husband meets her at the front.  They turn to the minister and he starts the service....

"Mawage, that bwessed awangment,..."  I have no idea what else for about 5 minutes because I couldn't breath for fear my giggles would overtake the ceremony.  As I calm down, I hear...

"So tweasure your wuv..."  Both guys elbow me HARD.  So I miss most the rest of the sermon.

Found out later the pastor was from Lithuania or some such and that was how he talked.  I near-wept when I had to shake hands with him at the reception.

I'd be having to be poked and prodded to keep quiet as well. *Snicker*

[Outdoor Girl]

I probably would have had to leave.  Unless the bride and groom were fans of the movie and would understand why I was giggling.

See, when I find something really, really funny and try not to laugh, I often snort a la Chrissie in Three's Company.  I don't think that would go over very well in the middle of the ceremony.

[tiff019]

I am so glad you all exist.

As I posted elsewhere, my father is dying. I went out to see him the day after Mother's Day, and among other things took care of the necessary legal and business arrangements. These included arranging for cremation with the Neptune Society (fondly referred to in our family as "Bake & Shake") and disposition of his remains (in my mother's vault).

While at the Neptune Society, I said to the woman helping me, "You know, you all have done my grandpa, grandma, my mom, my mom's uncle, and my dad's brother. Do I get a volume discount for Dad?"

I think she wanted to laugh but was afraid somebody would hear her.

My mom has set up cremation ahead of time for her mother and herself for when the time comes - she refers to them as her BBQ papers... I giggle just about any time they're mentioned (My gramma hasn't been doing so well lately so it's come up a few times. We don't just randomly talk about the BBQ papers)

=)

[Xandraea]

I probably would have had to leave.  Unless the bride and groom were fans of the movie and would understand why I was giggling.

See, when I find something really, really funny and try not to laugh, I often snort a la Chrissie in Three's Company.  I don't think that would go over very well in the middle of the ceremony.

I would have had a really hard time not LOLing, as even reading this, I heard the priest from Princess Bride in my head.

When my daughter gets laughing hard, she starts hiccuping .. which turns into hiccurping (hiccup-burps) .. She has only to get to the hiccup stage and somebody points out "Oh no, here it comes, she's hiccuping!".. and she laughs harder.  It's contagious, as we know what's coming and when she starts the hiccurping, we all lose it.

[Sanity Lost]

I am so glad you all exist.

As I posted elsewhere, my father is dying. I went out to see him the day after Mother's Day, and among other things took care of the necessary legal and business arrangements. These included arranging for cremation with the Neptune Society (fondly referred to in our family as "Bake & Shake") and disposition of his remains (in my mother's vault).

While at the Neptune Society, I said to the woman helping me, "You know, you all have done my grandpa, grandma, my mom, my mom's uncle, and my dad's brother. Do I get a volume discount for Dad?"

I think she wanted to laugh but was afraid somebody would hear her.

My mom has set up cremation ahead of time for her mother and herself for when the time comes - she refers to them as her BBQ papers... I giggle just about any time they're mentioned (My gramma hasn't been doing so well lately so it's come up a few times. We don't just randomly talk about the BBQ papers)

=)

I cleaned houses for the elderly and one of my clients was a bit of a pack rat. She asked me to help sort through a bunch of boxes and bags. Guess what I found in the paper bag from Pete's BBQ Takeout... her mothers ashes and memorial effects. I couldn't help myself I burst out laughing and when she saw what was in the bag she said "Oh that's where they are, but why are you laughing?" It took a few minutes long enough for me to calm down to explain the juxtaposition. When her husband was told he just sort of snickered and said "well at least they were well filed". A sweet lady but a bit batty.

[Sirius]

I was sitting in one part of the living room (in the comfy chair) and the people working on the estate sale for my aunt's house were in the family room talking about one of their previous customers.  They weren't being (overly) nasty, just saying that the lady at their previous job had a lot of money but was extremely tight with it, and some of the things she had done to avoid spending a dollar while they were there.  After some talk in this vein, the head person said, "Oh, and Sirius, we'll be talking about you like this some day."  She then added, "But not in the same way.  You've been marvelous."  To which I said, "Thank you." 

[violinp]

Well, my dad broke a tooth on some pizza last week, and within a couple of days, got the tooth pulled (the crack was so deep it went under the gum line, and would've been more than $3,000 bucks to save).

Well, the surgeon asked Dad what he wanted to have vis a vis pain management/anesthesia, and Dad remarked that he'd had fillings as a kid. The doctor said, "Oh, so you had Novocaine?" Dad said, "Nope; I didn't have anything." Apparently, the color drained from the surgeon's face so fast Mom and Dad thought he would faint. When Dad told me that, I couldn't help but laugh, because my dad is such a trooper (or, alternately, so insane) that he:

• didn't go to the hospital when he was struck by lightning and was seeing negative.
• got his nose rebroken without pain management (years of untreated sports injuries messed up his nose)
• WARNING GROSS had his eye pulled out of its socket, socket cleaned of sawdust, and eye put back in without any kind of pain management

Fortunately, Dad was put under for the tooth pulling, because the surgeon told him that he'd have to break the tooth and pull it out in pieces - Dad's lip was bruised when he came out of surgery. However, the anesthesia made him very talky, and he could not shut up about how much the surgeon liked his gums - the surgeon had actually complimented Dad on his lack of any gum disease, and the fact that he had "rock - solid teeth." Considering that the surgeon had just pulled a broken tooth out of my Dad's mouth, the fact that he called the teeth "rock - solid" was hilarious.