There's an old joke about the Scotsman who falls asleep on a park bench after a long night of drinking.
Two ladies walk by and their curiosity gets the best of them, and they had to peek to see what he wore under his kilt.
They found nothing but what the good Lord had given him.
One of them, being a little naughty, pulls out a hair ribbon and ties it around what the good Lord had given him.
When he wakes up the next day and goes behind a tree to take care of business, he finds the ribbon and exclaims, "Ach, aye, laddie, I don't know where you've been, but won you won first prize!".