Things that you just should NOT laugh at.

[greencat]

I have been laughing at my cats lately.  You see, I started just leaving the door open to the (impenetrably fenced back yard) when I left for work so the dog didn't have to hold it while I'm at work.  This means the cats can go out and roam at will (relatively safe in my neighborhood.)  Apparently, their will for the most part is to stay inside - except for the one cat that goes out the back door, up over the roof, and then waits in the front of the house for me to come home.

[Kimblee]

Kiki (not the pup in my avatar but his other, dumber, sibling) got herself "trapped" in the laundry room today.  See, she would have had to walk between the washing machine (on) and the basket of laundry sitting on the floor next to it.  And since the washing machine obviously only makes noise when it's possessed by dog-eating demons, she plunked her butt down and whined at me until I came and "rescued" her.

Yes but how di she GET trapped? Did her mommy by any chance turn on the washing machine while while poor unsuspecting Kiki was already in the room, cruelly trapping her with the demon-possessed dog eating monstrosity?

Mean mommy!

  I'm in a silly mood today I think.

[Slartibartfast]

Kiki (not the pup in my avatar but his other, dumber, sibling) got herself "trapped" in the laundry room today.  See, she would have had to walk between the washing machine (on) and the basket of laundry sitting on the floor next to it.  And since the washing machine obviously only makes noise when it's possessed by dog-eating demons, she plunked her butt down and whined at me until I came and "rescued" her.

Yes but how di she GET trapped? Did her mommy by any chance turn on the washing machine while while poor unsuspecting Kiki was already in the room, cruelly trapping her with the demon-possessed dog eating monstrosity?

Mean mommy!

  I'm in a silly mood today I think.

Only by mistake - I think she was in the backyard at the time.  (The dog door goes from the backyard to the laundry room.)

[snowfire]

A friend was telling me today about how she got her dog.  It seems she had been at her son's house and had seen his male Papillon doing his thing with the female Border Collie.  She told her son that they were likely to be getting some really interesting puppies in a few months.  Son protested that it was impossible as the Papillon was too small to ever be able to do anything romantic with the Border Collie.

Snerk, about a month later son called her up and said "You were right.  And you are taking a puppy.  How the heck did he manage that anyway?"   

Never underestimate the creativity of true love....

[Morrigan]

When my mom was a kid, their basset hound (female) got bred by their rough collie (full sized male)...the puppies were apparently really cute.  Some of them were shaped like bassets, but had the coat of the collie.

[exitzero]

When we were out the other night, my boyfriend's black lab got up on the counter and ate a loaf of bread. One of those giant, dense whole wheat loaves.

She literally moaned in distress all night long...I tried to be sympathetic, but I wasn't easy.

[Elisabunny]

A friend was telling me today about how she got her dog.  It seems she had been at her son's house and had seen his male Papillon doing his thing with the female Border Collie.  She told her son that they were likely to be getting some really interesting puppies in a few months.  Son protested that it was impossible as the Papillon was too small to ever be able to do anything romantic with the Border Collie.

Snerk, about a month later son called her up and said "You were right.  And you are taking a puppy.  How the heck did he manage that anyway?"   

Never underestimate the creativity of true love....

Any chance of pictures?  I really want to see what a Collillon looks like.

[Gyburc]

One from yesterday...

DH and I have been TTC for some time now without success, and since I'm now 39 and the clock never stops ticking, we went to the doctor to start seeing about possible medical interventions. I am now due to provide a blood test in a couple of weeks' time, and DH is due to provide a... different... kind of sample whenever convenient.

The doctor handed DH a closely-typed sheet of paper, and said 'Here are the instructions on how to provide the sperm sample.' We spent the rest of the appointment trying not to catch each other's eye. Really - you need instructions now??

And to top it all off, we stopped for petrol on the way back, and while I was waiting for DH to pay and scanning through his all-important instructions, I put the radio on.

The song that was playing? Love Shack.

 

[Slartibartfast]

I wouldn't be surprised if the instructions included things like "Please don't show up wasted/stoned" and "The cup is there for a reason; please don't make us clean up your mess."

[greencat]

Probably about the proper pre-collection sanitation - like the instructions for giving a sample for urinalysis.

Still funny to have it phrased that way...

[Rohanna]

Actually, I do work in a lab- the many ways that sample can be "improperly" collected aren't fit to write here 

[greencat]

Actually, I do work in a lab- the many ways that sample can be "improperly" collected aren't fit to write here 

That one might belong in the "Gross Out" thread...

[TurtleDove]

I was at the gym a while back, minding my own business on an elliptical.  The row of ellipticals is right behind the row of treadmills.  I noticed a smallish man cautiously approach a treadmill.  He started experimentally pushing buttons and faded from notice as I got sucked back into whatever was on the gym's TVs at the time.

Then I hear this "whup... whup... whup" sound, the unmistakable sound of a treadmill (and the runner using it) speeding up.  It just gets faster and faster and I look just in time to see this guy pitch forward onto the belt (because it was going so fast it took his legs out from under him), fly off the back of the machine like he's wearing a malfunctioning jetpack, and slam into the elliptical behind him.  This all happened so fast that that no one could do anything to stop it-- it took maybe 5 seconds from the first "whup" to impact.  By the time the woman at the treadmill right next to him started frantically slapping the emergency stop button, he was already picking himself up off the floor.

Bless his heart, he got back up and back onto the treadmill.  I was trying so hard not to laugh, and to look anywhere but at him, so I glance off to my left... where there's a dignified looking silver-haired gentleman looking right back at me, hand clamped over his own mouth, clearly just about dying from the stiffled giggles.  I spent the rest of my workout staring intently at the calorie gauge.

I just read this just now and I have tears streaming down my face and my abs are going to be sore tomorrow.

[JonGirl]

One from yesterday...

DH and I have been TTC for some time now without success, and since I'm now 39 and the clock never stops ticking, we went to the doctor to start seeing about possible medical interventions. I am now due to provide a blood test in a couple of weeks' time, and DH is due to provide a... different... kind of sample whenever convenient.

The doctor handed DH a closely-typed sheet of paper, and said 'Here are the instructions on how to provide the sperm sample.' We spent the rest of the appointment trying not to catch each other's eye. Really - you need instructions now??

And to top it all off, we stopped for petrol on the way back, and while I was waiting for DH to pay and scanning through his all-important instructions, I put the radio on.

The song that was playing? Love Shack.
 

At least it wasn't "Turning Japanese" or "Dancing with Myself" 

[Gyburc]