Things that you just should NOT laugh at.

[Nikko-chan]

So my friends and I are in a chat together talking... when one of them types the following sentence:

"There are cats playing scrabble under my window."*

I laughed like a loon.

*I edited the sentence a bit to make it more ehell friendly.

I'm glad you mentioned the edit. Otherwise, I was wondering what the word score was for MROWR.

Thank you Twik.... now my mother is probably wondering why I am laughing like a loon.

[Bottlecaps]

My Mom recently got a new set of kitchen chairs. They're metal and were lots-of-assembly-required. Mom didn't like the fabric that was covering the seats, so she had my husband leave the seats off of the chair frames until she could find a different fabric for them.

One of Mom's cats likes to jump from the counter top to the fridge, and then will usually jump from the fridge to the chair when it wants to get down. Well, the cat didn't realize that the new chairs don't have seats on them yet. It was like cat basketball. The cat jumped off the fridge, aimed for the chair, and went straight through the empty space where the seat is supposed to go. The look of confusion was priceless.

LOL!!!! Like a typical cat, my cat Petey loves to jump up onto things. One of his favorite places to jump is up onto the computer desk, because there's a window he likes to sit and look out of behind the computer. He'll jump up there, get behind the computer, work the curtain open with his little paws and stick his head in, and watch out the window for hours. Well, the other night I'm sitting on the couch right beside the computer desk and Mr. Bottlecaps is on the computer. Petey goes to jump up onto the back corner of the computer desk -  only he doesn't realize there's a stack of papers on the computer desk. Unable to get a grip, his paws just slide and slide, him desperately, frantically trying to get a grip, papers flying everywhere, and he just falls straight down onto the floor. This all happened within just a few seconds. I felt so bad for him, as he fell on his side, but we couldn't help but crack up. The kicker was how embarrassed my poor Petey looked, LOL. He slinked away and hid for the rest of the night!

[Tashigi]

On the mild side...

My landlady likes to read out odd articles from the newspaper every so often because we both share a somewhat twisted sense of humor.

Today -
LL: Well! This is a sign that they plan out their articles and layout early.
Me: Why?
LL: In the Travel section, they have a big front page article on cruise ship deals and upgrades.

In light of the Carnival cruiseship fiasco only being resolved today... I really have to wonder if someone at that office actually thought this edition through!

[turtleIScream]

Headline on our local news website - "fire crews battling large blaze at crematorium". The article further states that there are no injuries reported. I can.not.stop giggling.

[mmswm]

Headline on our local news website - "fire crews battling large blaze at crematorium". The article further states that there are no injuries reported. I can.not.stop giggling.

So glad I wasn't eating when I read that. It could have been messy.

[Mental Magpie]

Headline on our local news website - "fire crews battling large blaze at crematorium". The article further states that there are no injuries reported. I can.not.stop giggling.

I actually cackled at that!

[violinp]

Headline on our local news website - "fire crews battling large blaze at crematorium". The article further states that there are no injuries reported. I can.not.stop giggling.

I actually cackled at that!

My church has a columbarium (a place to inter urns). When we were going through the approval process, one sweet old man asked, in all seriousness, "Is this going to be fireproof?" Mom about cracked a rib trying not to laugh.

[Softly Spoken]

Okay I haven't read all of the thread but I've read enough to think I can post this here.  (If we can laugh at death and carnage, maybe we can laugh at being a little less than PC)

This is funnier if you have the BG that I am (usually) a rather liberal yet reserved individual.

I was riding with my friend in her car. A guy in front of us stopped suddenly for no reason, so my friend had to slam on her brakes and we both got a bit whip-lashed. She was cursing and said "What the ehell is his problem?" I can only blame the adrenaline for my response. I happened to look at his bumper, which had a rainbow triangle on it. I pointed it out to my friend and said sarcastically "Apparently, for him being rear-ended is a good thing."
My friend's jaw hit the floor of her car and she just stared at me, then thank deity we were at a light because she just couldn't stop laughing. It wasn't just what I said, it was the fact that *I* said it - she just kept murmuring "so soooooooo wrong, you are *so* bad..." For a long time after that, we couldn't see someone put on the breaks without breaking out in giggles if we made eye contact.

[Diane AKA Traska]

Okay I haven't read all of the thread but I've read enough to think I can post this here.  (If we can laugh at death and carnage, maybe we can laugh at being a little less than PC)

This is funnier if you have the BG that I am (usually) a rather liberal yet reserved individual.

I was riding with my friend in her car. A guy in front of us stopped suddenly for no reason, so my friend had to slam on her brakes and we both got a bit whip-lashed. She was cursing and said "What the ehell is his problem?" I can only blame the adrenaline for my response. I happened to look at his bumper, which had a rainbow triangle on it. I pointed it out to my friend and said sarcastically "Apparently, for him being rear-ended is a good thing."
My friend's jaw hit the floor of her car and she just stared at me, then thank deity we were at a light because she just couldn't stop laughing. It wasn't just what I said, it was the fact that *I* said it - she just kept murmuring "so soooooooo wrong, you are *so* bad..." For a long time after that, we couldn't see someone put on the breaks without breaking out in giggles if we made eye contact.

For what it's worth, I think it's funny, and I think that most homosexuals don't mind being the butt of a good-hearted joke.

[Mental Magpie]

Okay I haven't read all of the thread but I've read enough to think I can post this here.  (If we can laugh at death and carnage, maybe we can laugh at being a little less than PC)

This is funnier if you have the BG that I am (usually) a rather liberal yet reserved individual.

I was riding with my friend in her car. A guy in front of us stopped suddenly for no reason, so my friend had to slam on her brakes and we both got a bit whip-lashed. She was cursing and said "What the ehell is his problem?" I can only blame the adrenaline for my response. I happened to look at his bumper, which had a rainbow triangle on it. I pointed it out to my friend and said sarcastically "Apparently, for him being rear-ended is a good thing."
My friend's jaw hit the floor of her car and she just stared at me, then thank deity we were at a light because she just couldn't stop laughing. It wasn't just what I said, it was the fact that *I* said it - she just kept murmuring "so soooooooo wrong, you are *so* bad..." For a long time after that, we couldn't see someone put on the breaks without breaking out in giggles if we made eye contact.

For what it's worth, I think it's funny, and I think that most homosexuals don't mind being the butt of a good-hearted joke.

Pod, Traska.  Also, I see what you did there.

[VorFemme]

Okay I haven't read all of the thread but I've read enough to think I can post this here.  (If we can laugh at death and carnage, maybe we can laugh at being a little less than PC)

This is funnier if you have the BG that I am (usually) a rather liberal yet reserved individual.

I was riding with my friend in her car. A guy in front of us stopped suddenly for no reason, so my friend had to slam on her brakes and we both got a bit whip-lashed. She was cursing and said "What the ehell is his problem?" I can only blame the adrenaline for my response. I happened to look at his bumper, which had a rainbow triangle on it. I pointed it out to my friend and said sarcastically "Apparently, for him being rear-ended is a good thing."
My friend's jaw hit the floor of her car and she just stared at me, then thank deity we were at a light because she just couldn't stop laughing. It wasn't just what I said, it was the fact that *I* said it - she just kept murmuring "so soooooooo wrong, you are *so* bad..." For a long time after that, we couldn't see someone put on the breaks without breaking out in giggles if we made eye contact.

For what it's worth, I think it's funny, and I think that most homosexuals don't mind being the butt of a good-hearted joke.

Pod, Traska.  Also, I see what you did there.

I am wheezing with laughter until I squeak.......

[wonderfullyanonymous]

Our pregnant cashier needed me to run and grab a gallon of milk for a customer. She explained to me, that the original gallon was leaking, but she wasn't going to give me that one because she didn't want me to milk her. Oddly enough, a few weeks ago, I spilled milk on her, which we laughed about, and said I milked her.

Now, considerably more pregnant that she was then, I dryly remarked, if I was going to milk her, I wouldn't do it that way. Took her a brief second to realize what I had said, and she started laughing.

[Onyx_TKD]

Background: I was reading an online discussion about someone who had refused to perform CPR on a person suffering cardiac arrest, which led to a discussion of when one should not start CPR, e.g., when there is a DNR order, etc. One poster provided a link to an article called "7 Signs That Say 'Do Not Resuscitate'" (Warning to anyone inclined to search for it: article includes a photo of a dead body).

One of the 7 signs not to resuscitate the patient was decapitation. As the article put it:

Over the course of human history, patients suffering from decapitation have demonstrated a 100% mortality rate.

No, really?

[Thipu1]

On the mild side...

My landlady likes to read out odd articles from the newspaper every so often because we both share a somewhat twisted sense of humor.

Today -
LL: Well! This is a sign that they plan out their articles and layout early.
Me: Why?
LL: In the Travel section, they have a big front page article on cruise ship deals and upgrades.

In light of the Carnival cruiseship fiasco only being resolved today... I really have to wonder if
someone at that office actually thought this edition through!

If it's the New York Times, they do plan well in advance.  The Sunday travel section is delivered with
Saturday's paper and was probably put together before the Carnival horror.

   

We also noticed the unfortunate coincidence.

[wonderfullyanonymous]

One of the 7 signs not to resuscitate the patient was decapitation. As the article put it:

Over the course of human history, patients suffering from decapitation have demonstrated a 100% mortality rate.

No, really?

Sadly, that had to be put in there, because someone tried to resuscitate a decapitated person.  Now, I'm giggling...

"Come on dude, I put your head back, you gotta breathe. You can do it, just breathe."