Author Topic: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.  (Read 349453 times)

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Fliss

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1680 on: June 14, 2013, 11:28:04 PM »

When swimming on Australian beaches, pay attention to the bluebottle jellyfish warnings. Otherwise you might go for a cooling dip, only to run screaming out of the water ripping your swimmers off and dancing what looks like a tarantulla.

While you will get some sympathy, there will also be quite a bit of sniggering.
Good news! Your insurance company says they'll cover you. Unfortunately, they also say it will be with dirt.

Nikko-chan

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1681 on: June 15, 2013, 10:58:24 PM »

When swimming on Australian beaches, pay attention to the bluebottle jellyfish warnings. Otherwise you might go for a cooling dip, only to run screaming out of the water ripping your swimmers off and dancing what looks like a tarantulla.

While you will get some sympathy, there will also be quite a bit of sniggering.

ow.

Julian

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1682 on: June 16, 2013, 10:46:57 PM »

When swimming on Australian beaches, pay attention to the bluebottle jellyfish warnings. Otherwise you might go for a cooling dip, only to run screaming out of the water ripping your swimmers off and dancing what looks like a tarantulla.

While you will get some sympathy, there will also be quite a bit of sniggering.

ow.

Indeed.  Those little blighters HURT!  I've only been stung once, a tendril of one that wrapped around my finger.  It burnt for hours.

Midnight Kitty

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1683 on: June 17, 2013, 04:00:33 PM »
You've heard the expression "ants in your pants"?  Ants in your bra will really distract you!
This incident occurred several years ago when Misty (now an 8 y.o. mare) was a silly filly.  We kept her in a fairly remote, isolated part of the ranch.  I was going to take her for a walkabout when I decided to change shirts.  I put the new shirt down, took off my glasses, took off the shirt I was wearing, and then I put the new shirt on.  We hadn't walked for a minute when I felt ants crawling and biting me.  I looked down and saw that I must have put the shirt down on a fire ant hole/nest.  I dropped Misty's lead rope and started jumping, slapping, and pulling off my shirt.  Fortunately she didn't wander off to the nearest tasty-lookin' clump of grass.  I think she was amused at my antics. >:D
"The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit.  The second is to look things in the face and know them for what they are."

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Nikko-chan

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1684 on: June 22, 2013, 04:46:16 AM »
*Snicker* I just have to tell you guys this one. I shouldn't laugh at it, really I shouldn't, but I crack up every time I think of it.

So The Boyfriend and I were walking through the neighborhood with the Jasper puppy, and on the way back we had to take the long route home to avoid an unleashed dog. We were walking by a fence and these people have dogs which weren't out, so no barking dogs to contend with to make my puppy nervous, and there were no people around. I took this opportunity to give The Boyfriend a very passionate lip lock.**

The Boyfriend literally stumbled on his feet as though he were drunk for a few seconds, before telling me to not do that again as it raises his blood pressure.  :o Okay. I won't. But that image of him stumbling about for a second will forever be burned into my retinas.

**I should note that I am The Boyfriend's first girlfriend ever, which might also explain why he stumbled a bit.

Mental Magpie

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1685 on: June 22, 2013, 04:54:10 PM »
Your kisses must be intoxicating!
The problem with choosing the lesser of two evils is that you're still choosing evil.

Nikko-chan

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1686 on: June 22, 2013, 08:31:53 PM »
Your kisses must be intoxicating!

*snicker* Is it bad the first thought that went through my head after he "swooned" is that he reminded me of Bella Swan? (in one of the books edward kissed her and she almost fainted because she forgot to breathe.)

Mental Magpie

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1687 on: June 22, 2013, 09:41:17 PM »
Your kisses must be intoxicating!

*snicker* Is it bad the first thought that went through my head after he "swooned" is that he reminded me of Bella Swan? (in one of the books edward kissed her and she almost fainted because she forgot to breathe.)

Bahahaha!  Even better!
The problem with choosing the lesser of two evils is that you're still choosing evil.

Mental Magpie

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1688 on: June 24, 2013, 06:59:40 PM »
BG: Talula, female dog, had to have hip surgery to replace a shattered hip; Miki, female dog, had to have hip surgery to replace a shattered hip.  The only other female dog we've had is Cruiser, and she ran away at just a year old.  END BG.  (None of these female dogs are filter catches, I'm actually typing and actually said female dog, not the five letter word replacement).

I had to take Banshee (female dog) to the vet today.  The vet thinks she may have torn her ACL.  I called my sister (Miki's owner) to let her know (my mom was with me).  I said how if she did we may go to the vet who did the surgery on both Talula and Miki.  Then I said, "No more female dogs for us!  You know it's always the female dogs who get hurt!  No more!"

My sister laughed and said, "Yeah, we didn't have Cruiser long enough to really screw her up like we did the rest of them."
The problem with choosing the lesser of two evils is that you're still choosing evil.

Julian

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1689 on: July 04, 2013, 09:08:54 PM »
Many years ago, when I was first learning to ride a motorcycle, I had a small bike, nice and low to the ground.  The poor old thing was a single cylinder, and burned oil occasionally, making regular oil checks vital.  The oil was checked via a small window at the base of the engine on the right hand side, quite low to the ground, and the bike needed to be upright, either held or on the centre stand, rather than the more convenient side stand, which was on the left hand side.

One day, Ex GF and I were going for a ride.  While I was getting myself together, she thought she'd do me a favour and check the oil level. 

Well, I heard a scream and 'Jules, help!!!' so I went out to the garage to see what was wrong.

There was Ex, lying on the ground (fortunately there was an old waterbed bladder on the floor, she'd landed on that) with my bike lying on top of her.

Obviously  >:D I rushed quickly to her aid and pulled the bike off her (well, rushed, after I'd managed to drag myself off the ground where I was rolling around laughing for a while, while she cussed me out a blue streak).  She was Not Impressed!

She'd tried to check the oil by crouching down and pulling the bike upright via the handle bar at the same time, the window was too low, so she crouched down lower, and lower, and lower...  until the bike toppled over and landed on her.

There was no damage done to either bike or girlfriend, fortunately, but for some reason she never tried to check the oil for me again!   ;D

AylaM

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1690 on: July 05, 2013, 01:09:16 AM »
We have a dog, a boxer.  He's old now, but when he was younger he was quite tenacious.  He had to be kept out of my sister's bedroom.

You see she had a bunkbed, and no matter how many times he brained himself he was certain that next time he'd manage to jump onto the top bunk.

On the days when he managed to slip in before we could stop him, he'd hit it rather hard and go down quickly. He'd immediately get up and look confused and surprised that it didn't work.   And it was always hilarious.
« Last Edit: July 11, 2013, 10:20:55 AM by AylaM »

Liliane

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1691 on: July 15, 2013, 08:47:49 PM »
I know this is horrible of me, my mother and my sister...but I still laugh every time I think of it! (And it says a lot about why we don't associate with our extended family a lot...)

My grandfather (my mother's father, who we will refer to as P) passed away in mid-May, so my mother, my father and I drove three hours from Smalltown to Bigtown to help my Aunt (S) get things taken care of, especially relating to the funeral. Also to be joining us were my Uncle (D), his wife (C), my sister (N) and her daughter (A), all of who were flying in from various locales to attend P's funeral. It was well-known how Uncle D absolutely despised P, and he had good reason - P was not a nice man. He was very rich and very rude, rarely having a nice word to say about anyone, even his own children (and he was especially rude to my mother.) So we were all shocked that Uncle D would deign to show up.

But he did, and he's the one who did the thing no one should really laugh at, but we did anyway.

After the graveside service, all of us were invited to help fill in P's grave (he was cremated, so it was a small grave, only needing to fit the urn), so after we'd all put a small shovelful of dirt in, Uncle D helped fill in the rest and put the sod piece on top. Then he proceeded to tamp the sod very firmly down, first with the shovel, then with his feet. It looked normal enough to someone who wasn't family, I suppose, but...

That's when dear mother leaned over to me and whispered, "Looks like he's making sure the b*****d is really dead and buried."

I cracked up, because that was exactly what I'd just been thinking. I swore he was about to start dancing on the grave! (He didn't. He behaved himself VERY admirably.) And when we told N after the service, she laughed just as hard.

I fully admit this is a horrible etiquette faux pas, and I shouldn't find it so funny. But every time I imagine Uncle D tamping that sod down, the giggles just take over...
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cwm

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1692 on: July 16, 2013, 12:41:14 PM »
I know this is horrible of me, my mother and my sister...but I still laugh every time I think of it! (And it says a lot about why we don't associate with our extended family a lot...)

My grandfather (my mother's father, who we will refer to as P) passed away in mid-May, so my mother, my father and I drove three hours from Smalltown to Bigtown to help my Aunt (S) get things taken care of, especially relating to the funeral. Also to be joining us were my Uncle (D), his wife (C), my sister (N) and her daughter (A), all of who were flying in from various locales to attend P's funeral. It was well-known how Uncle D absolutely despised P, and he had good reason - P was not a nice man. He was very rich and very rude, rarely having a nice word to say about anyone, even his own children (and he was especially rude to my mother.) So we were all shocked that Uncle D would deign to show up.

But he did, and he's the one who did the thing no one should really laugh at, but we did anyway.

After the graveside service, all of us were invited to help fill in P's grave (he was cremated, so it was a small grave, only needing to fit the urn), so after we'd all put a small shovelful of dirt in, Uncle D helped fill in the rest and put the sod piece on top. Then he proceeded to tamp the sod very firmly down, first with the shovel, then with his feet. It looked normal enough to someone who wasn't family, I suppose, but...

That's when dear mother leaned over to me and whispered, "Looks like he's making sure the b*****d is really dead and buried."

I cracked up, because that was exactly what I'd just been thinking. I swore he was about to start dancing on the grave! (He didn't. He behaved himself VERY admirably.) And when we told N after the service, she laughed just as hard.

I fully admit this is a horrible etiquette faux pas, and I shouldn't find it so funny. But every time I imagine Uncle D tamping that sod down, the giggles just take over...

This reminds me of when my grandmother died. She wanted a closed-casket ceremony, but with an open-casket viewing for family only beforehand. We were standing around at the viewing and the wheeled stand that the casket was on started moving. Apparently the wheels weren't locked down very well to begin with. It wasn't much, just a shift of a few inches, but my mom leaned over and whispered to me, "It looks like even Grandma W can't stand to be around such sad sacks. She's trying to make a run for it from her own funeral!"

I got some very evil looks directed my way when I stepped away politely to suppress some giggles.

exitzero

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1693 on: July 16, 2013, 02:22:16 PM »
Funeral stories remind me...
When my dad died, my sister and I went to pick out his casket. To really appreciate this story, you have to know my sister. She's opinionated, always right and everyone else doesn't know what they are talking about. Sometimes, especially in times of great stress, you have to pick your battles carefully.

So we're at the funeral home and she falls in LOVE with a casket that was...unexpected. Lots of chrome, shiny blue steel, very flamboyant. And crazy expensive.

Rather than argue, I think what the heck, it's going in the ground, it'll be mostly covered with the flag, what's the harm.

I then went back to my mother's house and she asked me about the coffin. I said, "Well, I've never been to a hooker's funeral, but..." And we both preceded to laugh like loons. My poor father literally wasn't in his grave yet, and we were laughing our butts off.

A few years later when my mother died, we went back to the funeral home and my sister immediately says, "Of course, we'll want the same casket my father had!"

Cue me biting the inside of my cheeks to keep from laughing. My poor mother was buried in a hooker's casket. I think she would have found it funny.

nuit93

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1694 on: July 16, 2013, 04:05:46 PM »
I remember when my grandfather passed, my mom and grandma were shopping to get him a suit for the viewing. 

The best part was when mom remarked that the slacks looked like they might be too long.  My grandmother looked at her and said "for gosh sakes, it's not like he's going to be standing up!".

I don't think the salesguy realized right away that they were shopping for something to put on a corpse.