Things that you just should NOT laugh at.

[Nikko-chan]

So I have to work on mom's hat for her christmas present. I had a conversation with a friend about this just now.

Me: I need motivation to knit
Her: If you don't knit that **** hat, I will come over there and throttle the life out of you!....How's that?
Me: O.O *quietly goes to get needles*


I laughed like a loon and then realized... that all it takes to get me to do something is the threat of violence. And then I prompty laughed my head off over it. Yeah... I'm weird.

[Luci]

Lucas is trying to get my family together for a dinner. The cousins don't keep track of each other very well. No animosity, they like each other but they are all young families with kids, jobs, and general busyness in life. I had been thinking about a dear late friend who used to be a drinking buddy of ours.

I walked into the living room and heard Lucas say to my nephew on the phone, "My son in law works in Chicago ...  in a department store." (He manages a store in the western suburbs.)

The Merle Travis version was one of Jim's favorite songs, so I pretty much lost it. Don't know what my nephew thought.

http://lyricsplayground.com/alpha/songs/i/iusedtoworkinchicago.shtml

[VorFemme]

I was once told a story about a little girl who was convinced that when she grew up she'd turn into a boy.  She was quite looking forward to it.

When she was at the age where she was interested in the subject, but not yet proficient, my daughter explained toilet training to me.  She told me that someday, she would always pee or poop in the potty.  When she did that, she would be toilet trained.  Then, she would get a penis.

You gotta love child logic.

http://product-boy.com/2011/08/06/select-population-of-females-turn-into-males-during-puberty-growing-male-genitalia/

[mmswm]

For those who don't read the "Dear Dog" thread....

My dog is a lush.  He's got a weakness for red wine and whiskey.  He goes to great lengths to steal it.  Of course, as a good dog mommy, if he succeeds, I take it away from him as soon as I catch him and then monitor him closely.  One of these days, I'm sure I'm going to have to explain to a vet why I'm bringing in a drunk mastiff.

[gramma dishes]

^^^  See!  You should never have taught him how to use a corkscrew.  You should have known that would come to no good!   

[mmswm]

HA!  Dumb dog has figured out how to pry a cork out of an already opened bottle, or he'll knock over a closed bottle with just enough force to crack it but not shatter it, then slurp up the spilled goodness.

[gramma dishes]

You need to hang your liquor and wine rack from the ceiling.  Of course, if you did, he'd probably figure out how to drag the stepladder in from the garage.  *sigh*

[mmswm]

You need to hang your liquor and wine rack from the ceiling.  Of course, if you did, he'd probably figure out how to drag the stepladder in from the garage.  *sigh*

Dog stands a little over 6 feet when he stands up on his back legs.  He's one giant ball of trouble.

[gramma dishes]

^^^  Yeah.  I suppose if you had let him read my comment about the stepladder he would have just snorted and said "Hey, I don't need no stepladder!!" 

 

[Piratelvr1121]

That is one funny dog, and he sounds hilarious, when he's not being a huge bunch of trouble.  Course thing about pets, it's hard to stay too mad at them for long. They won't let you.

[Elfmama]

How do you get a drunk mastiff into the car to GO to the vet? 

[Piratelvr1121]

How do you get a drunk mastiff into the car to GO to the vet? 

Speaking of things that shouldn't be laughed at, I can't help but think it might be easier to get a drunk mastiff to the vet than a sober one.

[mmswm]

Oh, goodness!  I'm dying from laughter here. 

Gramma Dishes, yeah, he'd probably scoff at any attempts to deter him. 

Pirate, he's a great dog.  When he's not being all kinds of trouble. 

Elfmama, I'm hoping if it ever comes to that, his love of going bye bye will come in handy.  Dumb dog gets into the car every time the door opens.  Sometimes he even lets you get out of the car first if the door is opening because you've just arrived home.

[Piratelvr1121]

Oh I'm sure he is.  I was kinda thinking of our cats too, who are mischeivous but darned if they're not lovable even when they're winding themselves around our legs and trying to kill us.

[mmswm]

I can't stay mad at him for more than two seconds.  He's actually currently passed out across my legs.  I have to pee but I can't get up because I can't get him to move.  He's still breathing okay and his heartrate is good, and I don't think he got too much whiskey before I got the spill cleaned up, so I think this is just normal lazy mastiff sleeping and not a drunken stupor.