Author Topic: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.  (Read 323874 times)

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Nikko-chan

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1815 on: December 22, 2013, 11:23:43 PM »
So I have to work on mom's hat for her christmas present. I had a conversation with a friend about this just now.

Me: I need motivation to knit
Her: If you don't knit that **** hat, I will come over there and throttle the life out of you!....How's that?
Me: O.O *quietly goes to get needles*


I laughed like a loon and then realized... that all it takes to get me to do something is the threat of violence. And then I prompty laughed my head off over it. Yeah... I'm weird.

Luci

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1816 on: December 23, 2013, 01:58:44 PM »
Lucas is trying to get my family together for a dinner. The cousins don't keep track of each other very well. No animosity, they like each other but they are all young families with kids, jobs, and general busyness in life. I had been thinking about a dear late friend who used to be a drinking buddy of ours.

I walked into the living room and heard Lucas say to my nephew on the phone, "My son in law works in Chicago ...  in a department store." (He manages a store in the western suburbs.)

The Merle Travis version was one of Jim's favorite songs, so I pretty much lost it. Don't know what my nephew thought.

http://lyricsplayground.com/alpha/songs/i/iusedtoworkinchicago.shtml


VorFemme

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1817 on: December 30, 2013, 09:09:50 PM »

I was once told a story about a little girl who was convinced that when she grew up she'd turn into a boy.  She was quite looking forward to it.

When she was at the age where she was interested in the subject, but not yet proficient, my daughter explained toilet training to me.  She told me that someday, she would always pee or poop in the potty.  When she did that, she would be toilet trained.  Then, she would get a penis.

You gotta love child logic.


http://product-boy.com/2011/08/06/select-population-of-females-turn-into-males-during-puberty-growing-male-genitalia/
« Last Edit: December 30, 2013, 09:16:44 PM by VorFemme »
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I say more?

mmswm

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1818 on: December 30, 2013, 10:06:22 PM »
For those who don't read the "Dear Dog" thread....

My dog is a lush.  He's got a weakness for red wine and whiskey.  He goes to great lengths to steal it.  Of course, as a good dog mommy, if he succeeds, I take it away from him as soon as I catch him and then monitor him closely.  One of these days, I'm sure I'm going to have to explain to a vet why I'm bringing in a drunk mastiff.
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

gramma dishes

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1819 on: December 30, 2013, 10:20:13 PM »
^^^  See!  You should never have taught him how to use a corkscrew.  You should have known that would come to no good!   :)

mmswm

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1820 on: December 30, 2013, 10:25:31 PM »
HA!  Dumb dog has figured out how to pry a cork out of an already opened bottle, or he'll knock over a closed bottle with just enough force to crack it but not shatter it, then slurp up the spilled goodness.
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

gramma dishes

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1821 on: December 30, 2013, 10:29:27 PM »
You need to hang your liquor and wine rack from the ceiling.  Of course, if you did, he'd probably figure out how to drag the stepladder in from the garage.  *sigh*

mmswm

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1822 on: December 30, 2013, 10:35:21 PM »
You need to hang your liquor and wine rack from the ceiling.  Of course, if you did, he'd probably figure out how to drag the stepladder in from the garage.  *sigh*

Dog stands a little over 6 feet when he stands up on his back legs.  He's one giant ball of trouble.
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

gramma dishes

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1823 on: December 30, 2013, 10:47:01 PM »
^^^  Yeah.  I suppose if you had let him read my comment about the stepladder he would have just snorted and said "Hey, I don't need no stepladder!!" 

 ;D

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1824 on: December 30, 2013, 10:49:11 PM »
That is one funny dog, and he sounds hilarious, when he's not being a huge bunch of trouble.  Course thing about pets, it's hard to stay too mad at them for long. They won't let you.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Elfmama

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1825 on: December 30, 2013, 10:49:19 PM »
How do you get a drunk mastiff into the car to GO to the vet?  :o
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Piratelvr1121

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1826 on: December 30, 2013, 10:54:45 PM »
How do you get a drunk mastiff into the car to GO to the vet?  :o

Speaking of things that shouldn't be laughed at, I can't help but think it might be easier to get a drunk mastiff to the vet than a sober one.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

mmswm

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1827 on: December 30, 2013, 11:03:53 PM »
Oh, goodness!  I'm dying from laughter here. 

Gramma Dishes, yeah, he'd probably scoff at any attempts to deter him. 

Pirate, he's a great dog.  When he's not being all kinds of trouble. 

Elfmama, I'm hoping if it ever comes to that, his love of going bye bye will come in handy.  Dumb dog gets into the car every time the door opens.  Sometimes he even lets you get out of the car first if the door is opening because you've just arrived home.
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1828 on: December 30, 2013, 11:06:21 PM »
Oh I'm sure he is.  I was kinda thinking of our cats too, who are mischeivous but darned if they're not lovable even when they're winding themselves around our legs and trying to kill us.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

mmswm

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1829 on: December 30, 2013, 11:08:41 PM »
I can't stay mad at him for more than two seconds.  He's actually currently passed out across my legs.  I have to pee but I can't get up because I can't get him to move.  He's still breathing okay and his heartrate is good, and I don't think he got too much whiskey before I got the spill cleaned up, so I think this is just normal lazy mastiff sleeping and not a drunken stupor.
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)