Hostesses With The Mostest > Entertaining and Hospitality

Graduation party...

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Brentwood:
My husband finally, after much ado, earned his BS in Business Management. This is a big deal to him (to both of us), as he initially dropped out of college in his senior year, and it took him ten years to go back to school.

Anyway, the grad ceremony is in a couple of weeks. Later that day, we are having a party at our house to celebrate. We have about 30 people coming. We will be providing everything - a catered meal, cake from a bakery, full bar, beer, non-alcoholic drinks, and entertainment.

Our friends are very excited for my husband, and most people are insisting on bringing something. We've had offers of cake, kegs of beer, appetizers, liquor, and all kinds of food. We tell people the meal will be catered and the bar is stocked, and they still want to bring something. I know for many people it's instinctive to want to help celebrate by providing part of the meal, but honestly we do not need a thing. We want for people to bring nothing but themselves!

I am touched by the generosity and goodwill of our friends. But we're hosting this. We want to treat THEM.

Sibby:
Honestly only a clod shows up at a party completely empty handed.  Social rules dictate a small gift for the person of honor or a host/hostess gift is required.  This can be a $5 bunch of daisies or a $75 bottle of champagne, but you bring something.  So just go with the flow.  Bottles of wine & liquor need not be opened, food need not be served immediately - you are not obligated to serve what is brought, you are only obligated to give a warm & sincere "thank you".

Brentwood:

--- Quote from: Sibby on June 06, 2007, 10:41:05 AM ---Honestly only a clod shows up at a party completely empty handed.  Social rules dictate a small gift for the person of honor or a host/hostess gift is required.  This can be a $5 bunch of daisies or a $75 bottle of champagne, but you bring something.  So just go with the flow.  Bottles of wine & liquor need not be opened, food need not be served immediately - you are not obligated to serve what is brought, you are only obligated to give a warm & sincere "thank you".

--- End quote ---

I'm not talking about hostess gifts or tokens for my husband - I'm talking about people who are insisting on contributing to the menu of food and drinks , under the mistaken idea that it would be helpful for us.

Jenzilla:
No no, I wouldn't dream of risking insulting the caterer by having people bring food!

Or, tell them like you said in your post - WE are hosting this. I appreciate that you want to help, but this isn't a potluck, there's no need for you to do anything.

Some people just can't seem to get the concept that not everything is potluck, though. So when someone brings something anyway, remember that anything brought is a hostess gift and should be treated as such, i.e., it should be put away for your use later. (Which, honestly, would make me feel bad to risk hurting feelings, but try to make that their problem, they're the ones who won't listen!)

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