Etiquette School is in session! > "So kind of you to take an interest."

"You're awfully quiet today"

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Delia DeLyons:
One of my pet peeves -

A coworker of mine, Petunia, will come over to my desk and say, quite loudly, "Why Scarlet, you are awfully quiet today!"  This statement is usually made on days when my other coworker, Daisy, who works at the desk beside mine, is not in the office.  (Daisy is SUPER talkative, and very pleasant and when she is in she will gab away and I am happy enough (usually) to offer my responses so as not to be ignoring her, but I generally don't make chit chat while I'm working, I find it very counter-productive...)  So naturally, yes, I am pretty quiet on these days... being the only worker on my side of the office, and given the fact that Bossman's office is between my work area and that of Petunia and the other two workers in the office.  I'd have to shout or walk over there (past Bossman) to make small talk.  Not a priority for me when I'm working...

The first time, I think I was so taken aback at her "concern" that I simply responded with a "Oh...well... not much to say"... but as it keeps happening, I get flustered that I have to keep explaining myself.  Once I pointed out, "Well, Daisy's not here... no one to talk to over here."  More recently I think I've responded with sarcasm, though light-heartedly, "Well, I have been trying to talk to myself more often to break the silence" or "If it would make you feel better, I could sing show tunes...?"  But hint not taken... she just sidled up to my desk again this morning and made her statement... I was in the middle of an important task so I just mumbled something about being really busy...  ::)

I think what may bother me the most is her emphasis on "awfully"  What's so awful about being quiet?  That and the fact that she always says it as an observation... if she were concerned about my lack of bubbliness, why doesn't she just ask me about it?   ???  It happens pretty regularly, as Daisy is out of the office every other week (just part of her schedule). 

I kicked myself this morning after the interaction, wishing I has said "So kind of you to take an interest."  Do you suppose that works for this situation?  I can't help but feel it's a little snarky... but I guess so is using sarcasm..  :P

Missy2U:
I sometimes get this too.  I have to admit -I'd like a response that wouldn't be rude but would stop the comments - I'm keeping my eye on this thread in case someone comes up with one!  :)

Layla Miller:
I got this all the time at a previous job.  The main reason I was so quiet was because I was generally concentrating on my work.  The second reason was that the conversations among my coworkers invariably consisted of gossip--either about celebrities (this was during the height of the media frenzy surrounding Anna Nicole Smith's death, and if I never hear another word about her it'll be too soon) or about whichever coworkers happened to not be there at the moment.  I had nothing to add to either type of discussion, so I would grit my teeth and try to tune out the catty remarks going on around me.

I never knew what to say when they'd comment on how quiet I was.  I was often tempted to thank them for the compliment!  Now that I've got Etiquette Hell, I have better ideas, but "You're so quiet!" doesn't come up nearly as often when you work at a library.  ;D

Petticoats:
Perhaps just say pleasantly, "Just working hard!" or "I've got a lot to keep me busy / a lot on my plate today."

Maybe your coworker equates silence with devious plotting. :)

Amava:
I would give very non-committal answers and definitely not explain or defend.

"You're awfully quiet today".
"I am?"
"Yeah, awfully quiet."
"Mmmm."

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