Gifts and registries

[caranfin]

Just because someone has a cat or two don't assume that he or she is a "cat person" who likes cute statues of cats or little plaques with cute "cat sayings" on them.  Same with kids, dogs and other activities.

That is, don't give people dust collectors unless you know, for a fact, they enjoy geegaws.

I'm not quite sure how to word this well, so please forgive the awkward wording.
It shows more consideration to separate gifts for a single person by occasion instead of time of the year. By this I mean people with December birthdays might not really want a Christmas themed item (Santa shirt for example) given to them as their birthday gift, while that exact same gift would have been much appreciated as a Christmas gift.

While it would be nice if all gifts were exactly what the recipients wanted, these issues are covered under #2.

Recipients must receive all gifts graciously.  They must thank the giver and not dispose of the gift in the giver's presence, make negative comments about the gift, or indicate in any way that the gift is unwelcome or compares unfavorably with other gifts received.   This includes rejecting gifts that were not on a registry. They are also not entitled to a receipt in order to return the gift although it is a kindness to include it. 

I was actually talking about the etiquette of the giver not the receiver.  The receiver of the gift, of course, must be gracious.  The giver of the gift must be thoughtful about what gifts are given.  This is NOT covered in rule #2.

But it is covered in rule #10-not to use gifts to "teach others a lesson."  For example, the giver should not use a gift of a weight-loss book or clothing that's too small to promote the idea that the recipient needs to lose weight. Or, one should not give a person who is not of one's own religion a gift of a religious nature for that religion for the purpose of promoting conversion to that religion.

No, those are two different topics. It's possible to give a bad gift (i.e., assuming that someone in a small apartment wants a 6-foot plush cat simply because she happens to own a cat) without intending to teach a lesson.

[Lillie82]

This is another one of those funny gift-gone-wrong stories from Dear Abby. (second letter - although the first one does deal with gifts too.) Any thoughts about the flowers story? Is it ever necessary to let a giver know that something went wrong?

http://www.uexpress.com/printable/print.html?uc_full_date=20070617&uc_comic=da

[ccpb1214]

This is another one of those funny gift-gone-wrong stories from Dear Abby. (second letter - although the first one does deal with gifts too.) Any thoughts about the flowers story? Is it ever necessary to let a giver know that something went wrong?

http://www.uexpress.com/printable/print.html?uc_full_date=20070617&uc_comic=da

In the case of the flowers, I would say that's something the recipient would take up with the florist. It's not like the gift giver specifically ordered a bouquet of dead/dying flowers (at least I hope not).


And if the recipients didn't like the arrangement, then they shouldn't say anything.

[ccpb1214]

6.  Charitable contributions are not appropriate as gifts to third parties or as "favors." 

I know when it is okay to give charitable contributions as gifts, but when specifically is it not okay? What would be an example of a third party or a favor?

[Lisbeth]

6.  Charitable contributions are not appropriate as gifts to third parties or as "favors." 

I know when it is okay to give charitable contributions as gifts, but when specifically is it not okay? What would be an example of a third party or a favor?

For example, if you tell a relative or friend that your birthday gift to them is a donation to some charity in their honor and they didn't ask you to do it or suggest it.

Or, when an honoree indicates that in lieu of favors (such as goodie bags) s/he is donating to charity.

[ccpb1214]

6.  Charitable contributions are not appropriate as gifts to third parties or as "favors." 

I know when it is okay to give charitable contributions as gifts, but when specifically is it not okay? What would be an example of a third party or a favor?

For example, if you tell a relative or friend that your birthday gift to them is a donation to some charity in their honor and they didn't ask you to do it or suggest it.

Or, when an honoree indicates that in lieu of favors (such as goodie bags) s/he is donating to charity.

Thank you.

[Mopsy428]

If you accept an invitation to someone's event which is generally a gift giving occasion, do not proceed to complain and whine to the host/guest of honor about having to go to the event and having to buy a gift. If you don't want to buy a gift, do not buy a gift. (And if attending the event is really that much of an issue, decline the invitation next time.)