So the weekend before last I visited my friends on the coast, Tallgirlfriend in tow, and we decided to go to the ebach one day. Tallgirlfriend sadly has been to the beach less than a dozen times in her whole life! As someone who lived two minutes from the beach most of my life and would go there a dozen times
a week this was intolerable and had to be rectified!
So I decided to give her the full dya at the beach: Up early for the first surf, pick a great spot to lay down your towels, swimming all morning fish and chips for lunch and icecream for afternoon tea before relaxing in the sun with a good book on a quiet part of the beach. We had a great time all day, and had just finished lunch so while she waited for the bill I went to get our icecream from the parlour across the road.
Tallgirlfriend specifically requested "the pink one." Great for my masculine image, but I suppose I can carry it for a few seconds before I catch on fire. I was just waiting in line to pay at the nearby ice cream parlour, giant pink waffle cone next to boring chocolate cone in the tray before me when two younger guys strolled in.
Super-Macho-Fifteen-Year-Old (or SMFYO) was behind me and proudly declared he'd have rum and raisin *giggle rum! giggle*. SMFYO then conversed with his friend, loudly, about how only men who enjoyed the company of other men *giggle giggle* could ever eat the pink icecream. *chuckle, guffaw* First I ignored it but as they continued to talk and then nudged me to ask me my opinion*what do you think mate? giggle giggle*, I turned around and fixed them with my best "Shut up about the icecream or you'll wear it" glare. They were both wearing these big idiotic grins and obviously thought they were hilarious so in the end I just shrugged and turned away. Then they started a new topic of conversation: Who was that smoking hot girl across the street? asked SMFYO. You should go talk to her, declared SMFYO's friend.
As they debated going to talk to this mystery woman I calmly paid, thanked the server and walked across the road to hand over the giant pink icecream to my smoking hot girlfriend who proceeded to eat the icecream while loudly declaring her love for me and for pink icecream as eloquently as she could. I paid the bill and we strolled across the road, their eyes following us the whole time I swear their jaws hit the ground!
I just smiled back at them as I accepted a taste of Tallgirlfriends delicious strawberry icecream and sneaked a kiss in return. Not a word was said but I do think I ruined their day

And if she reads this she'll finally know what I was smiling about for the rest of the afternoon!