I am a mute around my in-laws...

[Amava]

How do you keep from laughing out loud? The wordmix Alt Timers alone has me rolling.
Your in-laws are hilarious.

[Pepper Saltzman]

Those stories are hilarious!  Looking forward to hearing the update.

[moonwind]

Your in-laws sound a lot like my own family.   
I roll my eyes and bite my tongue, trying to
behave myself and not start a war!

[Lady Snowdon]

I go mute around my in-laws too!  My FIL is rabidly, rabidly conservative, and I'm liberal.  He knows it and likes to try and make baiting remarks when I'm around.  Our conversations tend to go something like:

FIL: DH, do you get this magazine?  It's printed by XYZ College, the only college that doesn't accept gov't money, so they're not brainwashed by useless liberals like every other college in America! *peering darkly at me*
DH: Yes, I do.  Thanks!
Me: *completely silent, thinking "Yes, and we throw it away as soon as we get it too!"*
FIL: I'm so glad I can see through all that liberal crap they having going up in Washington!  I can't believe we voted in liberal Senators/Congressmen/goats! *staring directly at me*
Me: *complete silence*
Someone else: So, FIL, what did you think about the game yesterday?

[Elfmama]

Sometimes being silent because one disagrees or disapproves of what the ILs were saying will not be noticed. Either because "Silence implies consent" or for other reasons.  I maintained almost complete silence around mine for a different reason.  Because I was 25+ years younger than they were, I was "too young to know anything, much less be entitled an opinion."  After the 4th or 5th time of being told to shut up, I did. For the next 35 years.  And MIL complained about that, too.

What do you do in that case?  Standing up for my own opinions wasn't worth the hassle.  The only exception was when MIL insisted that our family had to visit Grandma in the nursing home.  We did it once, and put our feet down on any more visits.  Elfqueen was 5 or 6, and had nightmares for a week after that first and only visit.  She says she thought Grandma was a witch who would come and get her.

They were also in the habit of having very loud and angry "discussions", so loud that they would wake the babies sleeping in the upstairs back bedrooms.  I spent a lot of time up there soothing them, and tended to stay there reading even when the babies fell back to sleep.  (Reading during a family visit was "rude".)

[Ms Marple]

We had a family party and one of my many SIL (I got 6, but occasionally they seem to multiply) asked me how things were with my DH's company. I said that we were very worried that the company would not make it due to falling sales commissions. She answered 'what an interesting situation'. Me: 'interesting situation ?' She answered: ''yes, a very interesting situation'. There was no way for me to continue this conversation politely, so I got up and wandered off.

I repeated this conversation to a friend, who dryly commented: 'yes, it is just as interesting as watching  your house burn down when you don't have fire insurance'. Now why did I not think of that reply...

[blueberry.muffin]

Cousin in law: At school we went to a lecture where they told us about a boy with Autism who was cured by chiropractic medicine!
Us: COMPLETE SILENCE
CIL: Because Autism is neurological, and chiropractors work on nerves in the spine that go to the brain, so it makes a lot of sense!
Us: COMPLETE SILENCE

Just fyi, the bolded statement is actually totally true.

Everything else? I couldn't say. 

[andre1969]

MIL: Because now, I have the dish washer and the clothes washer and dryer to do all my work for me, I just tell them "wash!" and they do, it's like having machines that are slaves!

I think I'd have trouble keeping a straight face with that one, and could see myself uttering something like "Oh, Fiddle-de-dee" in a Scarlett O'Hara-ish voice, or saying "Oh, so they're voice-activated, and load and unload and put everything away all by themselves?"

Yeah, sometimes silence IS golden!

[randomtangent]

i do this around some of my actual family.  BG: my grandpa has been married 3 times and has 2 sets of step children.  'step one' (4 kids) joined the family while the 'originals' (4 kids) were growing up and they are all close in age and actually treat each other as brother and sisters.  'step two' (2 kids) is several years younger than the youngest child and joined in my life time.

the general theme is originals + step one VS step two trying to 'politely' one up one another.  and to top it off, my grandpa's mother HATES my nana (original wife).  those of us who are not fortunate enough to be 'exiled' into the den during family gatherings (den fills quickly with originals and step ones while step two head downstairs with their kids), get to sit and listen to my great grandmother bash my nana and talk about how she would never leave her family because she is a good Purple religion follower (the rest of us are not or Blue religion followers).  mind you these are either original wife's actual children, or a set of steps who have no emtional interest.  staring silently is the only way to react when she goes into those modes.  my goals every time we are all together: say as little as possible, offend as few people as possible, and get out of dodge as soon as politely possible.

[Sharnita]

I have a dear friend who more than once has remarked how worried Imust be that I will have ALzheimer's since my grandmother had it.  Silence it pretty muchmy reaction to that.