I get that you don't agree with what I wrote, I asked for different views. I never asked for rules to be put in place, I never asked for anything to be banned. I just brought up an issue that I thought was happening quite frequently. If I had asked for a ban to be put in place then you could say I was trying to control the board. I didn't/wouldn't call out a poster for this in a thread, but I thought it was a good topic of discussion. It didn't meet any "etiquette" requirements. Maybe I shouldn't have posted it in this folder because in doing so it has been taken as me trying to make a rule. You don't know how people take the advice on this board, you can't say that they won't take it to heart. Maybe not in a rel@tionship thread, but I have seen many times people stating "well I took your advice". I wanted different opinions, that's why I asked, but I never asked for rules to change or for people to not post what they want. This wasn't an attack on anyone, but you seem convinced I am conspiring to change the forum-I'm not. I enjoy this forum, but I don't lose sleep if someone doesn't agree with me.
I just think its one of those things that while annoying is not really anything to worry about.
We had a thread once about people recommending the book Gift of Fear, which had its own acronym GOF. Someone wanted to discuss how too many people were recommending it. Now, I hardly see anyone recommend it.
I understand that you posted here because you feel it is dangerous for people to recommend that they leave a spouse. That kind of raises it to the level of "we need to do something about this." It raises it to a level above "isn't this kind of annoying."
I am not recommending to you that you call someone out in a thread but that by the giving of your own advice, in the way that you do it, that you bring things down a bit and balance it out more.
I think that end up helping the poster as well as the thread.
For instance, one might say "Well, I can see where someone might recommend just leaving, but I can see a lot of ground that could be covered before you might have to get that extreme."
You are correct--it is an extreme view--leave him--problem solved.
So, provide more common ground.
But, don't worry about the danger. If someone advises leaving and someone actually does it--its a copout for them to place the blame of their leaving on an anonymous person giving them advice on an internet site. They had to have wanted to leave if they actually did it.
It's the whole lead a horse to water thing...
But, I agree with you in principal, if not in how to approach it.