Author Topic: I think I ran over your cat. Sorry.  (Read 10548 times)

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LifeOnPluto

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Re: I think I ran over your cat. Sorry.
« Reply #45 on: July 22, 2010, 08:22:51 AM »
I am trying very, very hard to understand just what was going on inside his head.

I once read somewhere that until the mid-20th century, lots of people viewed cats as vermin. They saw cats as being just like rats, except only larger with fluffier tails. Maybe Adam was raised in an "old-skool" household like this? Maybe his parents taught him that cats were just low, dumb creatures? Maybe he never had a pet and hence, can't relate to people who love cats? Maybe he honestly thought that killing a cat is like swatting a fly? Maybe his thought process went something like "Oh darn, what's that noise? Sounds like that stupid cat! Ah nuts, I might have squashed the thing. Should I stop? Nah, it's late and I'm so tired, I've got to get up super-early for work tomorrow. If it is the cat, she'll just go mental on me, and there'll be a huge scene. I'll be stuck here for ages. Too bad if it was the cat, but hey, she can always get another one."

Hmm. Nope. Try as I might, I just can't give him the benefit of the doubt. Kick him to the kerb! 

kdbug

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Re: I think I ran over your cat. Sorry.
« Reply #46 on: July 22, 2010, 11:30:44 AM »
That is exactly what his responce to me confronting him was! He was "sorry" that I was upset with him but the way he was raised it wasn't a big deal because a cat was a cat and blah blah blah. Jerk.

sisbam

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Re: I think I ran over your cat. Sorry.
« Reply #47 on: July 22, 2010, 11:39:03 AM »
That is exactly what his responce to me confronting him was! He was "sorry" that I was upset with him but the way he was raised it wasn't a big deal because a cat was a cat and blah blah blah. Jerk.

After you had just told him how devastated you would be had your cat gone missing?

So... he's callous and amazingly unobservant...



BuffaloFang

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Re: I think I ran over your cat. Sorry.
« Reply #48 on: July 22, 2010, 11:40:00 AM »
Which would also explain why his brother is saying to give him a pass.  He was probably raised with the same mentality.

Aeris

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Re: I think I ran over your cat. Sorry.
« Reply #49 on: July 22, 2010, 11:42:31 AM »
That is exactly what his responce to me confronting him was! He was "sorry" that I was upset with him but the way he was raised it wasn't a big deal because a cat was a cat and blah blah blah. Jerk.

Wow. Just....wow.

Okay, fine, a cat's not a big deal to HIM - but...but....it's called empathy, people. It's called, being able to see something from someone else's perspective. It's called, not being a sociopath.

Dude.

Just imagine, for one brief instant, how it would be the first time something happened that really upset you, but that wouldn't upset him occurred - just think how unfeeling, uncaring, and unsympathic he would be, just because HE wouldn't feel that way in your shoes.

Ugh. Nuclear missile dodged.

Waltraud

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Re: I think I ran over your cat. Sorry.
« Reply #50 on: July 22, 2010, 11:44:44 AM »
No hurt kitties? Really? Whew.

BTW, to get a different perspective I discussed this thread with my BF, who really dislikes cats and is definitely closer to the mindset of "it's just a cat" than "my beloved furbaby". (Which is fine by me since I like cats myself but don't want to serve them every day ;))

BF agreed that it was at the very least a cowardly thing to do. Even if somebody considers cats (budgies, rats, ferrets...) vermin, it does not take THAT much empathy to imagine that other people might be emotionally attached to the animal in question.

Furthermore, if he had hit your garbage bin and strewn the contents all over your driveway, would he have reacted in the same way, by texting: " You've garbage all over your yard now. Sorry."?

No, even somebody completely indifferent towards animals (I'm sure there are many perfectly decent people of that sort out there) should be able to draw the connection: Make a mistake - own up to it and try to minimize damage.

Waltraud

Namárië

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Re: I think I ran over your cat. Sorry.
« Reply #51 on: July 22, 2010, 11:54:21 AM »
That is exactly what his responce to me confronting him was! He was "sorry" that I was upset with him but the way he was raised it wasn't a big deal because a cat was a cat and blah blah blah. Jerk.

Wow. Just....wow.

Okay, fine, a cat's not a big deal to HIM - but...but....it's called empathy, people. It's called, being able to see something from someone else's perspective. It's called, not being a sociopath.

Dude.

Just imagine, for one brief instant, how it would be the first time something happened that really upset you, but that wouldn't upset him occurred - just think how unfeeling, uncaring, and unsympathic he would be, just because HE wouldn't feel that way in your shoes.

Ugh. Nuclear missile dodged.

I agree.  :-\

This site makes me believe more and more about the statistic I saw a while back and thought was not realistic: that 10% of people are not able to feel empathy. :(
« Last Edit: July 22, 2010, 11:56:48 AM by Namárië »
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Gyburc

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Re: I think I ran over your cat. Sorry.
« Reply #52 on: July 23, 2010, 05:46:53 AM »
Just chiming in here - I wouldn't give him a pass for this either. A lack of empathy is a real turn-off as far as I'm concerned.

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pierrotlunaire0

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Re: I think I ran over your cat. Sorry.
« Reply #53 on: July 23, 2010, 11:09:00 AM »

Furthermore, if he had hit your garbage bin and strewn the contents all over your driveway, would he have reacted in the same way, by texting: " You've garbage all over your yard now. Sorry."?

No, even somebody completely indifferent towards animals (I'm sure there are many perfectly decent people of that sort out there) should be able to draw the connection: Make a mistake - own up to it and try to minimize damage.

Waltraud

Excellent point.  He thought he caused you at the very least a great inconvenience.  And his response was to run, and notify you in writing where he could dodge your emotional response.
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blue2000

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Re: I think I ran over your cat. Sorry.
« Reply #54 on: July 23, 2010, 11:14:42 AM »
That is exactly what his responce to me confronting him was! He was "sorry" that I was upset with him but the way he was raised it wasn't a big deal because a cat was a cat and blah blah blah. Jerk.

So he almost destroyed something precious to you, and all he can say is that HE didn't think much of it?? ICK.

I was all for giving him a pass for casual friendship - some people really aren't good in emergencies. But not after this. This statement says less about his nerves and more about his priorities - and your feelings are not on that list. Major fail!!!
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Lorelei_Evil

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Re: I think I ran over your cat. Sorry.
« Reply #55 on: July 23, 2010, 11:25:01 AM »
Gigantic POD to this. 

Amava

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Re: I think I ran over your cat. Sorry.
« Reply #56 on: July 23, 2010, 11:30:08 AM »
That is exactly what his responce to me confronting him was! He was "sorry" that I was upset with him but the way he was raised it wasn't a big deal because a cat was a cat and blah blah blah. Jerk.

"And the way *I* was raised, people who don't respect me and my pets aren't the ones to hang out with. Now get out of my house/get off my phone and don't come/call back. Ever!"

MightyMouse

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Re: I think I ran over your cat. Sorry.
« Reply #57 on: July 23, 2010, 11:42:43 AM »
No pass for him.  If anyone showed such a cavalier attitude about possibly injuring or killing my cats, I would never want to be around them, especially if they knew how much the cats mean to me. 

Danismom

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Re: I think I ran over your cat. Sorry.
« Reply #58 on: July 23, 2010, 01:14:09 PM »
sometimes text messages arrive immediately.  Sometimes they take a while (sometimes even hours) to arrive.  His cowardice could have been the difference between a quick visit to the vet and cat being okay and cat dying for lack of care.  No pass.

Queen of Clubs

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Re: I think I ran over your cat. Sorry.
« Reply #59 on: July 23, 2010, 04:15:39 PM »
No pass for him.  If anyone showed such a cavalier attitude about possibly injuring or killing my cats, I would never want to be around them, especially if they knew how much the cats mean to me. 

Agreed, to the nth degree!  As others have said, if he had hit your cat, him letting you know right then and there might have made a difference in whether your cat lived or died.

You don't need someone who's so uncaring for your feelings in your life.  Whether he likes cats or not, sees them as worthless or not, he knows you care deeply for your cat and your feelings were totally unimportant to him.  What a cad.