Namarie was ex bf you 1st real love? I had major issues hanging around my ex after we broke up, and whilst I avoided him for a while after the break...we shared friends and would see one another atleast once a fortnight,if not once a week. Arghhh...it was torture. I still had feelings for him and he would often play that against me. It didnt help that he was sleeping with one of the girls in the group aswell and she was always comparing herself to me and causing friction.
The push came when he put me in a REALLY awkward situation and embarassed me to no end. I had enough and cut all ties with him. I was also just starting to date my DH and I knew from experience that my ex would ruin it for me if I didnt. He didnt want to be with me, but still had some feelings and whenever there was a new person in my life...he would get weird and slightly cave manish.
I've been with my DH for 6 years and have children and thankfully never seen my ex since...but I still get a little panic stricken and anxious when I go out with my family to areas that he lives in. I wouldnt know what to do if I saw him or what to say. I honestly dont think thats uncommon when it comes to your 1st loves.
Proud of you for keeping cool.