My team vs. your team...when someone burns the bridges you're on-UPD & another ?

[ShadesOfGrey]

well, what do you want to say to her? Do you want to rehash the issue from last year? Do you want to move on? Do you want to hang out with her more?

[Hanna]

I would be annoyed by this message.  Does her phone not dial out?  I mean, if I walk by you and neither of us said a word, that's on me, too, right?

I'd probably reply "TSMom, I'd never walk past you and not say a word, so that part confuses me.  I know we haven't had long conversations lately, but I always smile and I always say hello.  I do confess that my feelings were very hurt by some comments a few people said you made about our team and the coaches at our team event; that we as coaches weren't supportive or challenging enough.  It really bothered me and I felt it would be been easy enough for you to speak with any of us about you concerns last year rather than speaking to our other parents about it at our own event."

Or something like that.

[Goog]

well, what do you want to say to her? Do you want to rehash the issue from last year? Do you want to move on? Do you want to hang out with her more?

No, I don't really want to hang out, because I think that ship has sailed.  Part of me wants to say hey, I heard this from several people, and it's not cool.  So can you blame me for not being buddy-buddy anymore?  The other part of me thinks it could open a can of worms, which I don't want to do.  

Like someone said earlier in this thread, it wasn't a matter of her saying that the fit was better for her family....she said that the coaching was better than us, yadda yadda.  That therefore is a derogatory comment toward our coaching, and when I am one of the coaches, that leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.

This is what I've crafted so far, which alludes to 'tension', but nothing specific and doesn't really address the comments.  Opinions?
"I know I've exchanged pleasantries with both you and TSDad several times this year at meets and at practice if we see each other.  TSDad and I even had a conversation about pictures when we were taking some at the (XYZ event).  Actually, I don't really think I've seen you as much this summer as I have before, but if I've walked by you and haven't said hi, I do apologize.  I guess I have felt some tension since you decided to leave (MyTeam), but I guess that happens.  At the time, I did say I was sorry you felt the need to switch but I wished you the best, and I still do."

[immadz]

Seems like she isn't happy unless she is causing drama. Ignore her message and go on. if you like to answer , "I really haven't noticed this lack of interaction. Maybe next time you notice me, you should stop and say hi." seems like a good way to go.

[kudeebee]

I probably wouldn't respond, but if you feel you should, take the thoughts you posted and pare them down so they are short and to the point.  Do not apologize (you did nothing wrong) or offer explanations that she can twist and use against you.  Remember less is more, especially in this case!  My additions are underlined.

"Not sure what you mean as I know I've exchanged pleasantries with both you and TSDad several times this year at meets and at practices if we see each other.  TSDad and I even had a conversation about pictures when we were taking some at the (XYZ event).  Hope you enjoy the rest of your summer."

[ShadesOfGrey]

I think what you wrote leaves the door open, and you want to firmly close it, and it's not fair to leave her hanging.  I'd say something like  "I was very hurt by your comments last year [since you're taking them as fact with out speaking to her], and it caused me to reevaluate.  I'm sorry that I couldnt give your son what he needs, but I wish you had spoken to me about it before switching teams.  i feel this has affected our relationship in a significant manner.  I wished you the best at the time, and I still do, but I dont think it's a good idea for us to move forward." 

[Goog]

OP here....I did reply and sent a slightly longer version of kudeebee's suggestion.  In lieu of the apology, I added a line about how I've always said hi if I consciously noticed them (because I know I can walk by someone and not notice them if I'm 'on a mission' and need to do something), and I wanted that clarified.  In rereading what she sent, I supposed I could have brought up the comments that she made, but what would logically happen?  She'd say 'I never said that, blah blah blah' and we'd get into a whole big discussion of it.  Too much has happened and it was 1/2 a year ago that the comments were made, so what's the point in hashing it out now?

And really, I have to wonder....if she thought something was 'off' for the last couple of months, why only bring it up now, AFTER the whole activity is done for the summer, and we won't be seeing each other anymore for at least 3 months (at common sporting events)?

[Otterpop]

Because she really didn't want to mend things.  What she wanted was another chance to justify herself.  She messed up, knows it, and can't rally people 'round to her side anymore.

Glad YOU moved on.

[Goog]

Haven't heard anything from her in the last 4 days since I sent the reply.  So I guess it was either that she was looking for drama and was denied, or had a bug up her butt about some incident from the weekend.  Don't know.  At this point, don't really care....it's done.  I'll continue to treat them politely, but I can't really see myself being close with them again. 

What's funny is that I was chatting with her DD last night on facebook; she sometimes goes on her mom's account and says hi or whatever.  (Just basic stuff like how bad the mosquitos are and stuff like that.) So since I can't imagine mom doesn't know about the DD being on, she HAS to know that I was being 'social' and wasn't ignoring them. 

I just still think it's interesting that nothing at all was said until after EVERYTHING was done for the summer.  If it was truly so perplexing and even hurtful, why not say something earlier?  Yah, I know.