I spoke to my sister today about the message Nephew sent on Facebook. She said she'd heard a slightly different version from him; I told her I saw the message and could confirm it. She said that Nephew had told her that YDD had called him a ***** first; I said, "She probably did." We were both of like mind that in general they should be left alone to sort out their Facebook issues on their own.
I then told her this: It came down to the fact that we had personally verified ODD's locations for the week, and had two other parents verify that. She's completely locked in as to the timeline.
On the other hand, the only evidence against her (roughly speaking) is Brother's word that "nobody else had a key." Which, as I told my sister, is a really poor basis to destroy the relationship with my daughter (not to mention, I had the word of the other parents.)
Sis then said that Brother had told her he was talking to the Sheriff's department about this. They said it wasn't a break-in and he told her he was "giving them some names."
Now, I don't know if those names include ODD, or just her friends, or a completely different set of kids. And I don't know when exactly this was going to take place, or did take place.
ODD freaked out when she heard this, because she's afraid it will get all over school if a deputy comes by. I told her it could also be very good in proving her innocence, because we have two other witnesses to verify where she was. Also, Brother's own son will come under scrutiny as he did have access to a key; the deputy will be objective in that regard.
DH freaked out even more. He was threatening to go nuclear and cut off all ties to my family if my brother did turn DD's name over to the sheriff's department. I told him that wasn't exactly fair and we could just wait and see before taking the nuclear response.
I'm not going to make a pre-emptive strike with my parents because a) there's a slight chance Brother is talking about other kids; or if he's trying to just turn in DD's friends, it came to nothing. As none of DDs' friends have said anything to her, it hasn't happened yet. My father would probably try to have some kind of family meeting and a forced reconciliation, or worse, believe my brother, but no matter what, he'd probably always have some kind of question in his mind. So, a pre-empt might cause more problems than it would solve.
On the other hand, my Pinhead brother would be a useful ally. I'm on the best terms with him; my sister told him off a few years ago. Brother is closer to my sister than me. (I guess each of us gets one of my prize brothers, LOL.) Pinhead would probably relish the chance to get in on the gossip side and know something. Plus, Pinhead has a 15 y/o son that's very sweet and not a partier; he'd understand the situation. So if I could get Pinhead to swear to secrecy unless it all came out, it would be good to know.
After all, Brother told my sister, so remaining silent with the one other sibling is probably not a good defense.
So far, my brother hasn't actually contacted DD, and I don't have any proof that his son told Nephew (Sister's son) about this. However, if he does, I will slap him with a restraining order or a letter from an attorney so fast his head will spin. Years ago my father put a restraining order on HIS brother's wife because their mother was 89 y/o and the wife was writing letters and upsetting Grandma with accusations that she didn't treat them right, etc.
I'm not especially proud of it, but when it comes to being called liars or otherwise getting character slandered, we don't play.
