Please turn off your cell phone

[Momsalwaysright!]

My sister's friend has asked her to advise her and my sister's not sure so she passed this question to me, and I have mixed feelings, so I'm passing this one on to the experts:

Bride wants to print a reminder to turn off cell phones on the wedding program.  It's a tri-fold program, and the reminder would be on the back, at the bottom, below all the thank you's to the officiant, music providers, etc.  My sister says it's worded it a nice way (but I don't know the words), but we can't decide if it's insulting to the guests to think that they would need to be reminded to turn off their phones during a wedding.

On the other hand, we know that phones always ring at worst times, and a gentle reminder may prevent an interruption during the ceremony and a red-faced guest who forgot to turn theirs off.

What do you think?  Is it rude to print a cell phone reminder on the back of the program?

[hobish]

I don't know if printing it is rude; but i think having the officiant ask that people turn them off before the ceremony begins would probably be more effective.

ETA: ...and not rude, IMO. I have seen it lots of times.

[sammycat]

I don't think it's rude, but unfortunately necessary.  Having the officiant mention it too might be a good idea, for those who haven't read the programme, or at least that part.

After the idiot behind me at my great aunt's funeral let his phone go off not once, but twice, during the service, I think seeing notes like this printed on programmes is going to become more and more common.

[hardia]

I don't think it's rude, necessarily, but it's not something I would do personally.  What I might do, if I thought it was going to be a problem, was ask the officiant to say something at the beginning of the service.  Our minister made a couple of brief announcements right at the start (basically asking people not to take photos during the ceremony and to not throw confetti or birdseed anywhere on church property) and he could easily have reminded people to silence their cell phones at the same time.  I think putting it in the program kind of feels a little like you're saying your friends and family have less than excellent manners, but sadly it's becoming more and more of a problem.

[cattlekid]

I POD the other posters who suggested that a word from the officiant may be better.  Not everyone is going to read the entire program before the ceremony starts. 

We had our officiant make similar remarks, not about cell phones but about clapping at the end of the ceremony.  This is just NOT DONE in the church where we got married and since my half of the guests were not from this church, I appreciated the comment so that the guests didn't embarrass themselves. 

[Kaypeep]

I think part of the problem is that many use their phones as their camera,too, and will probably want to take pics during the wedding. I would love to tell folks to turn the phones off, but you may be more successful if you just ask them to please put them on silence or vibrate.  Perhaps add some humor like 'Anyone who does not do so and interrupts the ceremony with an incoming phone call will be required to pay for the reception."

[TootsNYC]

on the back, at the bottom, below all the thank you's

Nobody will see it.

The ushers can mention it to people; I think it's fine to have a sign in the vestibule.

and the officiant can stop at the beginning of the event, just before the processional, and say to the assembly, "Please take this time to check your cell phones, everyone, to be sure they are off or on silent."

And then several "plants" (aunts, uncles, cousins) can make a big show of checking their phones.

[kareng57]

Pod to the idea of having the officiant make the announcement.  It's not rude, it's done all the time.

People don't intentionally leave their phones on - but they often just plain forget, and won't see a reminder in the program.

[KeenReader]

Well, I don't think it's rude to have such an announcement in the program, say something like, "The couple and venue request that cell phones not be used during the ceremony," but I think the ushers could mention it as they're seating guests and the officiant should announce it to make sure people hear it. 

And even then, be prepared for guests to not accept it and use them anyway.

[Calypso]

And even then, be prepared for guests to not accept it and use them anyway.

Wait, are you saying people would deliberately use their phones---as phones, not as cameras---during the ceremony???

Barbaric.

POD that putting it on the program would probably be ineffective. An announcement would be fine, IMO

[djinnidjream]

I had to put a note in my wedding bulletin about flash photography.  Flash photos during a wedding service is absolutely abhorrent...

[Wonderflonium]

And then several "plants" (aunts, uncles, cousins) can make a big show of checking their phones.

I understand what you are saying, but my sleep-deprived brain can't stop picturing actual plants. I can't stop giggling.

[marcel]

I agree with posters here. It is ineffective, but not rude.

[Weez]

I agree with PPs - I don't think it's rude to put a note about switching phones off on the wedding programme, but people may not read it or pay attention to it.

I'd get your officiant to say something about it before the ceremony begins.  I know at our wedding, our minister made an announcement about flash photography.  If I remember correctly, from what I've been told, he warned everybody (nicely!) not to do it during the actual ceremony, but that he'd set up photo ops after the formal ceremony was completed.  It was just a polite warning to guests, not offensive at all and he phrased it in a way that didn't indicate that he thought anyone would be so rude, but that he was old-fashioned enough to not want the ceremony interrupted.  I don't see how reminding people to switch off/silence their phones couldn't be handled the same way: a polite reminder, perhaps done with humour, depending on your officiant.

[KeenReader]

And even then, be prepared for guests to not accept it and use them anyway.

Wait, are you saying people would deliberately use their phones---as phones, not as cameras---during the ceremony???

Barbaric.

POD that putting it on the program would probably be ineffective. An announcement would be fine, IMO

Yup.

In fact, at my cousin's wedding (he was the groom), his mother walked up the aisle talking on her cell phone.  It wouldn't surprise me if guests totally ignore the request not to talk on theirs during the ceremony.