Author Topic: Rude to sleep in car?  (Read 18473 times)

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kingsrings

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Re: Rude to sleep in car?
« Reply #120 on: August 03, 2010, 02:02:33 PM »
Like I said earlier, these incidents happened a couple of years ago. We havenít driven in his car to hiking outings since, in fact, I havenít seen him at any lately, and our hiking outings are scarce anyway now. I was just curious on an etiquette point about if this really was rude on my part or anyoneís part to sleep in the car.

If I ever do ride in his car again for hiking, and I invariably fall asleep and he or anyone else gives me a hard time about it, I might just tell them sorry, I canít help it in my most weary-sounding voice.

high dudgeon

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Re: Rude to sleep in car?
« Reply #121 on: August 03, 2010, 03:55:30 PM »
I think if you invariably fall asleep and you know that about yourself in advance, you're better off not accepting any rides from the guy in the first place. Or ask him during the planning stages if there's a way you can sleep in the car that won't bother him. Or drive yourself.

I don't think it's nice to try to manipulate them with your "most weary-sounding voice." You know in advance that it bothers him, and you're going to plan to do it anyway and intentionally try to guilt them if anyone complains? Why not just be honest and upfront and say "It's very unlikely I'm going to be able to stay awake the whole trip back. Is that okay with you, or would you prefer I arranged my own transportation?"

June24

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Re: Rude to sleep in car?
« Reply #122 on: August 03, 2010, 05:39:36 PM »
I don't know if this has been mentioned, but I'd never want someone to sleep in my car while I'm driving, simply because it's not safe. In the event of a car accident, the sleeper would be completely unprepared, which can potentially make the impact worse for them. If they're alert, they might be able to steel themselves somehow, which can reduce the chances of serious injury. Especially if the car ride is only a few hours, I'd rather my passengers stay awake for safety reasons.

On a personal level, I do find it rude to sleep in a car while someone's driving, especially if it's not a long, overnight ride. If someone is doing you a favor by driving you, it seems ungracious to just go to sleep and leave them to do all the boring work. I'd sort of feel obligated to stay up and keep the driver company, if I were being driven. Now if it were a paid chauffeur, I think it would be fine (etiquette-wise) to fall asleep.

Sharnita

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Re: Rude to sleep in car?
« Reply #123 on: August 03, 2010, 06:13:26 PM »
I don't know if this has been mentioned, but I'd never want someone to sleep in my car while I'm driving, simply because it's not safe. In the event of a car accident, the sleeper would be completely unprepared, which can potentially make the impact worse for them. If they're alert, they might be able to steel themselves somehow, which can reduce the chances of serious injury. Especially if the car ride is only a few hours, I'd rather my passengers stay awake for safety reasons.

On a personal level, I do find it rude to sleep in a car while someone's driving, especially if it's not a long, overnight ride. If someone is doing you a favor by driving you, it seems ungracious to just go to sleep and leave them to do all the boring work. I'd sort of feel obligated to stay up and keep the driver company, if I were being driven. Now if it were a paid chauffeur, I think it would be fine (etiquette-wise) to fall asleep.

Actually, tensing up in anticipation of a collisions can make things worse.

June24

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Re: Rude to sleep in car?
« Reply #124 on: August 03, 2010, 06:35:02 PM »
I don't know if this has been mentioned, but I'd never want someone to sleep in my car while I'm driving, simply because it's not safe. In the event of a car accident, the sleeper would be completely unprepared, which can potentially make the impact worse for them. If they're alert, they might be able to steel themselves somehow, which can reduce the chances of serious injury. Especially if the car ride is only a few hours, I'd rather my passengers stay awake for safety reasons.

On a personal level, I do find it rude to sleep in a car while someone's driving, especially if it's not a long, overnight ride. If someone is doing you a favor by driving you, it seems ungracious to just go to sleep and leave them to do all the boring work. I'd sort of feel obligated to stay up and keep the driver company, if I were being driven. Now if it were a paid chauffeur, I think it would be fine (etiquette-wise) to fall asleep.

Actually, tensing up in anticipation of a collisions can make things worse.

I don't have time now to find any sources, but I know that being totally relaxed and unaware during a crash is dangerous. Tensing too much can be bad as well, but being asleep increases the risk of serious injuries because all muscles are totally relaxed. When you're asleep, the muscles are even more relaxed than when you're reading or doing other activities in the car, so it definitely increases the risk.

KenveeB

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Re: Rude to sleep in car?
« Reply #125 on: August 03, 2010, 07:13:47 PM »
If I ever do ride in his car again for hiking, and I invariably fall asleep and he or anyone else gives me a hard time about it, I might just tell them sorry, I canít help it in my most weary-sounding voice.

That sounds like a very PA response to me.  If you "invariably" fall asleep and know that they find that rude, then you should find your own transportation instead of trying to manipulate your friends.

DangerMouth

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Re: Rude to sleep in car?
« Reply #126 on: August 03, 2010, 08:59:31 PM »
I don't know if this has been mentioned, but I'd never want someone to sleep in my car while I'm driving, simply because it's not safe. In the event of a car accident, the sleeper would be completely unprepared, which can potentially make the impact worse for them. If they're alert, they might be able to steel themselves somehow, which can reduce the chances of serious injury. Especially if the car ride is only a few hours, I'd rather my passengers stay awake for safety reasons.

On a personal level, I do find it rude to sleep in a car while someone's driving, especially if it's not a long, overnight ride. If someone is doing you a favor by driving you, it seems ungracious to just go to sleep and leave them to do all the boring work. I'd sort of feel obligated to stay up and keep the driver company, if I were being driven. Now if it were a paid chauffeur, I think it would be fine (etiquette-wise) to fall asleep.

Actually, tensing up in anticipation of a collisions can make things worse.

I don't have time now to find any sources, but I know that being totally relaxed and unaware during a crash is dangerous. Tensing too much can be bad as well, but being asleep increases the risk of serious injuries because all muscles are totally relaxed. When you're asleep, the muscles are even more relaxed than when you're reading or doing other activities in the car, so it definitely increases the risk.

I believe that's not true at all. Tense muscles are more likely to rip or sprain than loose ones, and 'steeling' or bracing yourself for a crash is the equivelent of trying to stop your body, which is moving at, say, 60 miles per hour, with your arms. They'll snap like twigs if you try it. The safest thing to do in an accident is to go limp. If it's a head on, covering your face with your hands is recommended, if you have time.

This is along the same lines of why *severely* drunk drivers often walk away from an accident which has killed others. (this 'protection' doesn't seem to hold for the barely or moderately drunk).

Source: My CA state licenced driving school instructor: this was covered in our class.

June24

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Re: Rude to sleep in car?
« Reply #127 on: August 03, 2010, 09:58:20 PM »
I don't know if this has been mentioned, but I'd never want someone to sleep in my car while I'm driving, simply because it's not safe. In the event of a car accident, the sleeper would be completely unprepared, which can potentially make the impact worse for them. If they're alert, they might be able to steel themselves somehow, which can reduce the chances of serious injury. Especially if the car ride is only a few hours, I'd rather my passengers stay awake for safety reasons.

On a personal level, I do find it rude to sleep in a car while someone's driving, especially if it's not a long, overnight ride. If someone is doing you a favor by driving you, it seems ungracious to just go to sleep and leave them to do all the boring work. I'd sort of feel obligated to stay up and keep the driver company, if I were being driven. Now if it were a paid chauffeur, I think it would be fine (etiquette-wise) to fall asleep.

Actually, tensing up in anticipation of a collisions can make things worse.

I don't have time now to find any sources, but I know that being totally relaxed and unaware during a crash is dangerous. Tensing too much can be bad as well, but being asleep increases the risk of serious injuries because all muscles are totally relaxed. When you're asleep, the muscles are even more relaxed than when you're reading or doing other activities in the car, so it definitely increases the risk.

I believe that's not true at all. Tense muscles are more likely to rip or sprain than loose ones, and 'steeling' or bracing yourself for a crash is the equivelent of trying to stop your body, which is moving at, say, 60 miles per hour, with your arms. They'll snap like twigs if you try it. The safest thing to do in an accident is to go limp. If it's a head on, covering your face with your hands is recommended, if you have time.

This is along the same lines of why *severely* drunk drivers often walk away from an accident which has killed others. (this 'protection' doesn't seem to hold for the barely or moderately drunk).

Source: My CA state licenced driving school instructor: this was covered in our class.

What about the neck? If you're completely relaxed, isn't the neck more likely to be jostled and injured?

ETA: Actually, the part about drunk drivers surviving more often is apparently not true:
http://www.bigsiteofamazingfacts.com/do-drunk-drivers-survive-car-crashes-because-theyre-more-relaxed-and-how-do-seat-belts-save-lives

But according to that site, tensing your body has no real impact on survival. It seems kind of counter-intuitive - I thought it helped to brace yourself just a little.
« Last Edit: August 03, 2010, 10:01:11 PM by June24 »

DangerMouth

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Re: Rude to sleep in car?
« Reply #128 on: August 03, 2010, 10:08:29 PM »
And do think you can consciously keep your neck from whiplashing when your body is traveling at 60 mph and you stop suddendly? It's just physics, your neck will whiplash, asleep or awake, if there is room for it to do so.

The only time I can see being asleep during a crash as more dangerous than being awake is if you aren't sitting properly in your seat so that the restraints/airbags can act as they are supposed to.

But having been asleep and survived with a broken collar bone an accident that killed the driver (car rolled three times), I'm pretty sure I don't want to see it coming and be all tense and freaking out when the car goes off the road. YMMV.


JoieGirl7

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Re: Rude to sleep in car?
« Reply #129 on: August 04, 2010, 01:13:24 AM »
Come on folks!  "Ya canna change the laws of physics!" *
 
Sleeping or not sleeping in a car isn't going to matter all that much in an accident--too many variables.
 
At 60 mph things happen really quickly.  You can't brace yourself hard enough or fast enough.
 
I had to have this chat with my mother--she thought that having an airbag meant that she didn't have to wear her seatbelt.
 
I gently explained that the airbag only worked if you were still in your seat, which you would not be if unrestrained in a high speed crash.
 
Even though it deploys within milliseconds, that's still not fast enough to catch you if you don't have that seat belt on.

Bracing might help in a low speed situation--but again--too many variables.
 
What I would like to know is why anyone can give a pass to this driver when the method he uses to wake up the OP is to tap his brakes.  Clear road or not, it's kind of childish.




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Cz. Burrito

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Re: Rude to sleep in car?
« Reply #130 on: August 04, 2010, 09:14:30 AM »
Come on folks!  "Ya canna change the laws of physics!" *
 
Sleeping or not sleeping in a car isn't going to matter all that much in an accident--too many variables.
 

Yes.  There are far too many variables to be able to determine whether it's safer to be asleep or awake.  My sister's life was saved in a car accident because she was sleeping-- she was such that her head was lowered such that she was not struck by the projectile that came through the rear window, but does that mean that everybody should lie down while riding in a car so as to be safer?  Certainly not.  It's just one anecdote.  She happened to be perfectly situated for the physics of that particular crash.  Likewise with being awake.  

Personally, the driver lost all of my sympathy when he refused to accept anybody else's offer to drive (so he must not be that tired) and used the brakes to wake up one of his passengers.  In this situation, it absolutely appeared to be a control thing.  
« Last Edit: August 04, 2010, 09:17:06 AM by CzarinaBurrito »

bopper

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Re: Rude to sleep in car?
« Reply #131 on: August 04, 2010, 09:26:52 AM »
As someone who has been the driver after a ski trip because I owned the minivan-- I don't think it is rude for one person to fall asleep.  However, I don't really like when EVERYONE falls asleep because I am tired too ...it is nice when at least one person is awake to talk to the driver.

LadyPekoe

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Re: Rude to sleep in car?
« Reply #132 on: August 04, 2010, 11:44:39 AM »
I don't think it's odd that he wouldn't let anyone else drive his car.  I can count on one hand how many other people have driven my car and still have fingers left over.  Some of us don't let other people drive our cars (that's what growing up with an insurance agent for a mom did for me :)  ).

It didn't sound to me that he browbeat people into letting him drive, just that he had the biggest vehicle and didn't want anyone else to drive it.

I'm glad the sleepy people don't drive with me! I have the same stay-awake rule.  Granted, it only applies to the person in the passenger seat, but I drive a sporty little car so the back seat only exists in theory (so only one other person ever is with me). 
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evely28

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Re: Rude to sleep in car?
« Reply #133 on: August 04, 2010, 01:05:11 PM »
Come on folks!  "Ya canna change the laws of physics!" *
 
Sleeping or not sleeping in a car isn't going to matter all that much in an accident--too many variables.
 

Yes.  There are far too many variables to be able to determine whether it's safer to be asleep or awake.  My sister's life was saved in a car accident because she was sleeping-- she was such that her head was lowered such that she was not struck by the projectile that came through the rear window, but does that mean that everybody should lie down while riding in a car so as to be safer?  Certainly not.  It's just one anecdote.  She happened to be perfectly situated for the physics of that particular crash.  Likewise with being awake.  

Personally, the driver lost all of my sympathy when he refused to accept anybody else's offer to drive (so he must not be that tired) and used the brakes to wake up one of his passengers.  In this situation, it absolutely appeared to be a control thing.  

"One of the guys in the group took it upon himself to drive us all to and from the hiking spots, and he has a large vehicle that can accommodate most of us. He was perfectly fine with this arrangement, and it was always his idea to be the driver."

Though this was written out in a negative way, this is someone offering FREE transportation with a stipulation that no one sleep in the car. Accept or decline. I think the OP is the one in danger of being the boor as she continued to accept the hospitality and yet continued to do something she understood clearly the driver didn't like. I do commiserate with the OP as a follow "conker outer" and again as a driver who wouldn't have a problem with her napping. But I am not THIS driver and I am not the one offering the hospitality. (If I was the driver, I would be asking for gas money)

Miss Understood

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Re: Rude to sleep in car?
« Reply #134 on: August 04, 2010, 01:57:31 PM »
I am of two minds on this issue.  I think that in most situations, the polite thing to do as a passenger is to remain awake. 

I  have to admit being a tad annoyed with my friend who fell asleep during the entire drive to a bridal shower a couple of hours away.  We both had to get up early for the trip, and I understand that she was tired (and I am one of those lucky people who never get sleepy while driving, regardless of how tired I am).  However, I was bored and would have loved some conversation.  Plus, I had never been to the party location before and I was hoping she would be the navigator,  but since she was sleeping I had to read the directions and drive at the same time, which makes me nervous.

On the other hand, I was the offender in a far more egregious situation.   A friend drove him and me to a white-water-rafting trip organized by another friend who had experience with such trips.  The day started very early getting there (meaning it was dark for the first 2 hours of the trip, and I did stay awake for that portion), and then once we got there, we spent 10 hours navigating the course (we were doing a two-day trip in one day).  Then we all went to a diner for dinner.  After that my driver friend and I took off for home.  It was cold out (and had been so all day) so the heat was blasting in the car to warm us up.  I was exhausted, as I do not usually physically exert myself for 10 hours straight.  Between the heat, my exhaustion, and the big meal, I just could not keep my eyes open no matter how hard I tried.  I donít think Iíve ever been so absolutely compelled to sleep as I was then.  I still feel terrible that my friend had to drive back basically alone while I slept, but I donít know what else I could have done at the time.

So for the OP, I think if she tries to stay awake but canít, thatís all she can reasonably be expected to do.