Actually, I think camlam's group is pretty typical.
Ignoring, of course, the numerous posters in this thread who've said it's completely typical for them. That this is atypical for you I'll agree, but that doesn't make it wrong overall.
Camlan's post is very typical of what hiking trips
are like. She gives a real life example and it jibes with what I hear from my sister and SIL who are active hikers, outbound skiers, canooers and generally outdoorsy trip people.
There have been two posters aside from camlan who have alluded to what their group
does in relation to this kind of activity and one those doesn't reveal whether or not it is something even comparable to hiking. In fact, the way a subsequent post of that poster's was phrased leads me to believe that it wasn't.
Two Ravens: Most groups I belong to require members to remain conscious for the entire duration of the activity...
A "hike" does not mean just the time spent walking in the woods. Maybe to some people it would, but not to me, nor, apparently, the OP's friends.
She herself considers the entirety of the activity to be the "hike" and not just the trip home, but as she doesn't give a real life example, so I don't really know that these group activities she alludes to include much hiking or something similar. i would expect that if they did that she would have bolstered her argument with it. But, regardless, she states what she considers normal for her group
in her experience.
And then there is Kiara:We used to take a tubing trip in college for a student group. We'd take a 15 passenger van, and since it was owned by the group, the driver usually was one of about 5 people. On the way back, everyone was exhausted. The only person "required" to stay awake? The one in the front passenger seat, to talk to the driver. Aside from that, we didn't care if you slept the whole 2 hours back.
All the rest of the posts use the group that kingsrings is hiking with as their standard.
I am taking into the consideration first and foremost the nature of the trip and unlike Two Ravens, unless it was just two people, I don't consider the trip home to be part of the social aspect. I have gone on day ski trips where it was very much as Kiara described with one person to keep me company and the rest of the passengers slept, read a book or otherwise were quiet and restful.
I think the fact that the outing required a great deal of physical exertion needs to be taken into consideration from an etiquette point of view.
I think its far more atypical that someone would demand something like this from one of his many passengers. Most people would be gracious enough to just leave her alone unless they had good reason to do otherwise.
And again, it's not the driver demanding this from a single passenger. It's the group as a whole deciding what the dynamic is going to be.
Well, then doesn't that blow away the reasoning (or someone's reasoning back a few pages) that its his car, his rules? Why does what the rest of the group think matter? Doesn't she, as part of the group get a voice? Here, she's not allowed to drive, she's not allowed to sleep. I agree wholeheartedly that she shouldn't go with them again, but seeing as this was long ago, that advice really isn't useful, is it?
And "good reason" is what I see as missing from this.
If the OP is hard to wake up when they get to their destination and causes problems for the rest of the group--that would be a good reason.
But, "just because I said so, it's my car and I make the rules" is not good enough in this instance.
I just can't see that her sleeping when he has other mates to keep him company really has so much of an impact on him for him to make the demand.
And again you're ignoring all of the reasons that have been given throughout the thread. You're not even saying why they're bad reasons, you're just pretending they don't exist.
But, its circular reasoning. She shouldn't fall asleep because he doesn't want her to, its his car, his rules, the group doesn't want her to--as if this all very normal and I don't think that it is
. Is the OP just supposed to do whatever this man and the rest of the group demand? Because this group, with few exceptions and people's personal feelings are the only things that have been offered as evidence that what she did was not only wrong but that she was a freeloader.
And as I stated before, if you believe that sleeping on the car ride home is rude, that's what you are going to think. I don't think that and so I find the driver's behavior peculiar and controlling.
You see it a different way and so you see the OP's behavior as being rude.
So? I think this has gone just about as far as it can go!
As to the question of whether it is rude to fall asleep on the ride home from hiking, I don't know that we can give a definitive answer. There are variables that we haven't considered, like how the group was formed, what the gender make-up of the group is and a whole lot of other things.
I think that there could certainly be instances where it would rude, but I can think of just as many where it isn't. And given what I was given in the OP, I don't think that what she did was rude. That's my opinion and I stand by it. I appreciate that you stand by yours.