Author Topic: Rude to sleep in car?  (Read 18443 times)

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Animala

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Re: Rude to sleep in car?
« Reply #15 on: July 29, 2010, 02:30:28 PM »
Yes and no

I think it depends on the "terms" of the driving.  For instance my dad and I do all the long distance driving in the family.  He can drive for hours and hours and hours with out any problems.  For me, if it hours that I'm normally asleep or I'm getting tired I need a companion and one of my sisters will stay up with me.  I know that is what I need and I put it out there so then it would be rude of them to go to sleep on me.


He's telling you his terms.  He needs a companion for whatever reason, so do your best to stay awake or find an alternate means of transportation.

Carnation

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Re: Rude to sleep in car?
« Reply #16 on: July 29, 2010, 02:34:15 PM »
It's not like you leaned back, put your hat over your face and snoozed.  You nodded off.

I think it's rude to wake up a person unless there's an urgent need to do so, or they have asked to be woken at a certain time.

MrsJWine

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Re: Rude to sleep in car?
« Reply #17 on: July 29, 2010, 02:39:37 PM »
In a group setting, I don't think it's rude unless you're sitting shotgun.  If it's only the driver and one passenger, then yes, I think it is rude unless the driver specifically tells you that you can nap.

It's different from other social events because you can leave other places if you realize you're tired and need to rest.  If I'm at a friend's house and feel myself getting drowsy, I can go home.  Or, depending on the relationship and time I'm staying, I can ask to go lie down in another room.  You can't exactly exit the car to take a nap.


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Sharnita

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Re: Rude to sleep in car?
« Reply #18 on: July 29, 2010, 02:50:09 PM »
Yes and no

I think it depends on the "terms" of the driving.  For instance my dad and I do all the long distance driving in the family.  He can drive for hours and hours and hours with out any problems.  For me, if it hours that I'm normally asleep or I'm getting tired I need a companion and one of my sisters will stay up with me.  I know that is what I need and I put it out there so then it would be rude of them to go to sleep on me.


He's telling you his terms.  He needs a companion for whatever reason, so do your best to stay awake or find an alternate means of transportation.

He had other companions in the car who were awake and he insists that they use his transportation.

bah12

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Re: Rude to sleep in car?
« Reply #19 on: July 29, 2010, 02:52:18 PM »
The fact that he insisted indicates that there were other offers/options.  The fact that in addition to insisting on that in addition to insisting that OP stay awake seems to indicate a bit of controlling behavior, IMO.

But what does "insisted" mean exactly?  My DH often "insists" on driving, because he's not comfortable being a passenger.  He's not controlling, it's just that he prefers to drive.  No one usually protests too much and if they do, then he'll usually concede.

My guess is that he volunteered to drive, maybe some other options were mentioned and he noted that driving would be no problem for him and made a case for himself.  I doubt he forced everyone in his car or threw a tantrum to get to be the driver.  He probably said he wanted to drive and no one objected too strongly.

He may very well be controlling, but wanting to drive, by itself, is not a clear indication of that.  

If he was the one that jostled kingsrings awake, then I'm assuming she must have been in the front passenger seat where he could easily reach her.  I think he was rude to wake her up, but perhaps that seat was not the best place for the OP to sit after a day of hiking, especially if she was tired enough that she thought she's want to nap.

I don't think it's unreasonable for a driver to want passengers to stay awake, but I do think there are times when it is acceptable.  I admit, I'm still on the fence about this one....

jimithing

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Re: Rude to sleep in car?
« Reply #20 on: July 29, 2010, 02:54:00 PM »
How long of a drive back to the parking area are we talking here?

Cz. Burrito

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Re: Rude to sleep in car?
« Reply #21 on: July 29, 2010, 02:55:38 PM »
I don't think it's rude.  Napping on long car rides isn't a choice for me-- moving vehicles just put me to sleep.  This is especially true if I've been exerting myself or didn't get enough sleep overnight.  Most of my driving lately has been with coworkers for work, which is admittedly a bit different, but I am happy to let my passenger sleep, because that means that when I get tired and need him to drive, he will be well-rested (and these are only 2-3 hour drives, but we are usually exhausted at the end of the day).  I jostling a sleeping passenger awake just for the sake of having an awake passenger is rude. 
« Last Edit: July 29, 2010, 03:00:37 PM by CzarinaBurrito »

kingsrings

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Re: Rude to sleep in car?
« Reply #22 on: July 29, 2010, 03:03:18 PM »
How long of a drive back to the parking area are we talking here?

They averaged one to two hours.

Cz. Burrito

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Re: Rude to sleep in car?
« Reply #23 on: July 29, 2010, 03:05:48 PM »
How long of a drive back to the parking area are we talking here?

They averaged one to two hours.

I would classify that as a long car ride, and I would definitely have been asleep in that time. 

LissaR1

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Re: Rude to sleep in car?
« Reply #24 on: July 29, 2010, 03:13:20 PM »
Not ideal, but not rude.

1.) The OP has been socializing with these people all day.  It's not like she's not a part of the group or socializing with them.

2.) There are others in the car.  (I would find it ruder- but forgivable- if you were the only one in the car with the driver.)

3.) Long car ride.  These things happen- especially after a day of physical exertion.

4.) Like someone said, she didn't deliberately fall asleep- she nodded off.

If it's really, really offputting for the driver, he should speak to her about it privately and not-jokingly, so it's clear that it is a problem.  But otherwise, I think it's pretty normal.

jimithing

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Re: Rude to sleep in car?
« Reply #25 on: July 29, 2010, 03:15:20 PM »
How long of a drive back to the parking area are we talking here?

They averaged one to two hours.

Given this information, I think it's probably OK. If it was 30 minutes or less, I would say rude. Like PPs said, I definitely think it would be rude to make plans with a girlfriend for lunch and shopping around town, and doze off, because it is a social time too.

PeasNCues

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Re: Rude to sleep in car?
« Reply #26 on: July 29, 2010, 03:17:36 PM »
Does the his house/his rules idea apply to his car?

For whatever reason, he wants to drive. For whatever you accept that invitation and go with him.

For whatever reason, he doesn't want people sleeping in his car while he's driving. This could be, as PPs have said, because it makes HIM tired.

But, I think that if he is driving his own car, you have voluntarily ridden in that car and you know he is uncomfortable with you sleeping in the car, you should not sleep or find another source of transportation.

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JoieGirl7

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Re: Rude to sleep in car?
« Reply #27 on: July 29, 2010, 03:36:59 PM »
I think it was rude and cruel of him to jostle you awake and give you a hard time about it.
 
He has other people he can socialize with.  He should be leaving you alone if you need to sleep in the car after hiking.

bah12

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Re: Rude to sleep in car?
« Reply #28 on: July 29, 2010, 04:15:30 PM »
How long of a drive back to the parking area are we talking here?

They averaged one to two hours.

I think given the length of the car ride, it's more reasonable that someone would fall asleep.

I can also see where it would also be important to have at least one person awake and interacting with the driver, since it is a longer drive.

Were you in the front passenger seat?
« Last Edit: July 29, 2010, 04:57:35 PM by bah12 »

blahblahblah

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Re: Rude to sleep in car?
« Reply #29 on: July 29, 2010, 04:28:09 PM »
I think that for a lot of people, the motion of the car puts them to sleep if they aren't the driver. it isnot so much a choice as something that happens to them.  SOme people have other physical reactions - like car sickness.  For me, sleeping is a dense against car sickenss. I especially have porblems going in and out of shadows when the road is tree lined.  I close my eyes to avoid illness and eventually fall asleep.
ITA. For me, falling asleep in the car isn't a choice. It just happens. I have to struggle to stay awake after a mere 15 minutes. If I'm with friends, I can stay awake a bit longer because I feel more stimulated, but even that has its limits. I don't think I'm being rude, because this isn't a deliberate choice on my part. And for whatever reason, I only get sleepy when I'm a passenger.

This also happens whenever I'm on a plane. Most of the time I'm already halfway asleep by the time the plane is taxiing down the runway.

I do wonder if this is some sort of natural defense against motion sickness.

My friends and I like to joke that I am the worst road trip partner ever, which is probably true.