Author Topic: Rude to sleep in car?  (Read 17799 times)

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kingsrings

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Re: Rude to sleep in car?
« Reply #30 on: July 29, 2010, 05:00:00 PM »
How long of a drive back to the parking area are we talking here?

They averaged one to two hours.

I think given the length of the car ride, it's more reasonable that someone would fall asleep.

I can also see where it would also be important to have at least one person awake and interacting with the driver, since it is a longer drive.

Were you in the front passenger seat?

Nope, I was in one of the back seats.

high dudgeon

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Re: Rude to sleep in car?
« Reply #31 on: July 29, 2010, 05:28:07 PM »
If you were in one of the back seats and not noticeable, and it was a long ride, then I think he was being overly picky about it. But I do think that if it is at all possible for to stay awake, then you should try to, even if a nap would be convenient for you. But if it's not possible, it's not possible.

If another outing like this is being arranged and he offers to drive again, I think it would be a good idea to let him know in advance that you get wiped out by the long hikes, and you may not be able to stay awake on the ride back. Then he can decide to make it a shorter hike, or let you know that you'll need to find your own ride. For some drivers, just seeing a sleepy person can make them sleepier, so if it is a safety issue for him, I don't he would be rude to tell you he couldn't drive you, if that was in fact what his problem was.

JoieGirl7

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Re: Rude to sleep in car?
« Reply #32 on: July 29, 2010, 05:29:10 PM »
Do you pitch in money for gas?

kingsrings

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Re: Rude to sleep in car?
« Reply #33 on: July 29, 2010, 05:47:49 PM »
We all offered to pitch in money for gas, he refused all offers. I believe it was because he thought of this as his 'gift' to us, and accepting money wouldn't make it that way anymore.

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Rude to sleep in car?
« Reply #34 on: July 29, 2010, 05:54:15 PM »
I don't think it's rude to fall asleep in a car if one is tired after a long day like the OP had.   I am one who is prone to falling asleep, but I try to stay awake when DH is driving, especially if the boys are sleeping too.    It makes him tired if he's the only one awake, which is understandable.

I am prone to carsickness too, though it's not as bad now as when I was a kid, and then I often did fall asleep in the car because it kept me from getting nauseous, and because Dramamine made me sleepy.  

I would get really annoyed with someone if they kept nudging me awake while I was trying to sleep, especially if I would have to drive some distance to get home after the driver dropped me off, and would be disinclined to ride with that person again.
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JoieGirl7

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Re: Rude to sleep in car?
« Reply #35 on: July 29, 2010, 05:56:47 PM »
Well, then, I don't see anything rude in sleeping on the way home.
 
He is not your "host."  I presume that on the hike if you were tired, you could take a breather without his or anyone else's permission--or even go back to the car and wait for the other people.
 
He has no right to demand that you not sleep on a more than an hour car ride home.  I think his behavior in insisting and jostling and giving you a hard time about it is rude.
 
Getting ride home is not a social part of the activity--its a hiking trip, not a hike and drive trip.  And if folks have tried to pitch in with driving or gas or whatever and he has refused, he doesn't get rewarded for his sacrifice by getting to boss the rest of you around.
 
He can request that someone in the front seat remain awake so that he has company, he can tell you not to eat or drink in his car, but that's about it.

He sounds like he is doing this for "control" reasons.   :P

Nox

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Re: Rude to sleep in car?
« Reply #36 on: July 29, 2010, 06:04:48 PM »
If somebody nodded off in my car after an active day, or when they were jet-lagged, prone to carsickness, etc. I would (and have) understand. In general I don't like the feeling that I'm just the chauffeur, but if there's a reason then I don't resent it so much. It is perhaps worth noting that I don't insist on driving. I'd much rather be a passenger.

Jostling somebody awake seems rude to me in most circumstances. The only time I could see doing it is if the person needed to wake up for something (like arriving at a destination) and clearly weren't going to do it on their own.

high dudgeon

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Re: Rude to sleep in car?
« Reply #37 on: July 29, 2010, 06:12:39 PM »
While the driver isn't a host, I do think the ride home is part of the social event. The friend doesn't just become an impersonal bus driver or chauffer the minute they all get in the car. I'd say the social event begins as soon as you all get together and continues until you all split up at your destination. So I do think it's better to stay awake, so as to be good company to the others, even if nothing's going on at that minute. But as I said, if it's not possible, it's not possible and they should try to be understanding about it if it's not causing a problem for them.

LadyPekoe

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Re: Rude to sleep in car?
« Reply #38 on: July 29, 2010, 06:31:36 PM »
When I drive, whoever is in the passenger seat needs to stay awake to talk to me, so I don't fall asleep (although I never have).  I always tell people that before we leave for a trip.  I never sleep when I'm a passenger and I've been programmed by my father to keep conversation flowing until the car comes to a stop if the driver wants it. 

If I have nobody in the car, it's not a problem, because I listen to what I want, I talk on the phone (not illegal in any of the states I frequently drive through), I sing with my CDs, it's easy to stay awake.  When someone is sleeping, I feel like everything has to be more quiet.  And that makes me bored and sleepy.
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Rockie

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Re: Rude to sleep in car?
« Reply #39 on: July 29, 2010, 06:36:12 PM »
I tend to nod off during long rides, so I'd also vote not rude. It's not even voluntary on my part - sometimes I don't even realize I'd dozed off until I wake up, if that makes sense. Though it never occurred to me that just seeing another person sleeping could make someone sleepy as well (kind of like yawns seeming to spread from one person to the next?), but he should've explained that to you if that was the case.

Although...if you were in a back seat and he was driving, wouldn't it have been harder for him to reach you? I suppose it sort of depends on the layout of the car, but it seems like it would take more effort to jostle someone in the back seat than in the front passenger seat from the driver's seat.

whatsanenigma

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Re: Rude to sleep in car?
« Reply #40 on: July 29, 2010, 08:51:13 PM »
I tend to nod off during long rides, so I'd also vote not rude. It's not even voluntary on my part - sometimes I don't even realize I'd dozed off until I wake up, if that makes sense. Though it never occurred to me that just seeing another person sleeping could make someone sleepy as well (kind of like yawns seeming to spread from one person to the next?), but he should've explained that to you if that was the case.

POD here.

If it is really a safety issue for him, that no passenger in the car even when there are multiple passengers may fall asleep, then it's really on him to announce that beforehand. And to not just insist that he will be the one to drive before even finding out if someone is prone to falling asleep.

I agree that falling asleep isn't the ideal thing to do, but I find it really hard to call it "rude" in any way. I could call it rude, maybe, if you knew somebody was picking you up early and you stayed awake late on purpose, that kind of thing. But in most situations, I find it hard to believe that someone would rather sleep and lose out on rare time with friends than stay awake and socialize. When someone has fallen asleep, anywhere, anytime, I tend to think they really couldn't help it and they'd rather be awake.

Of course, I say this as someone with narcolepsy, who has fallen asleep in some pretty weird places at some pretty weird times...when, you can bet anything you like, I would have given anything to stay awake instead.

TootsNYC

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Re: Rude to sleep in car?
« Reply #41 on: July 29, 2010, 10:25:41 PM »
I didn't think about the aspect of it making someone else tired by seeing another person in the car sleeping, that makes sense. That's especially true when it's just you and the driver in the car, because it's so visible, and then they don't have someone to help keep them awake. Although in this case with his car being so big - I wonder if that could of been solved by me sitting in the back of the car where I wasn't as visible? As far as the social aspect of it though, there wasn't a whole lot of talking going on anyway in the car, as we were all bedraggled.

It's not just that they can see you. I firmly believe (on the basis of absolutely NO scientific evidence) that sleeping people give off a sleep pheromone, and when you are around them, this pheromone, when breathed in, makes you sleepy.

The lack of ventilation in an enclosed car means an extra-intense dose of this sleep pheromone.

and of course, children give off a higher level, as do sleeping kittens and sleeping cats. So never, never, never drive at night in a car with two sleeping children.


M-theory

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Re: Rude to sleep in car?
« Reply #42 on: July 29, 2010, 10:27:16 PM »
It's not just that they can see you. I firmly believe (on the basis of absolutely NO scientific evidence) that sleeping people give off a sleep pheromone, and when you are around them, this pheromone, when breathed in, makes you sleepy.

The lack of ventilation in an enclosed car means an extra-intense dose of this sleep pheromone.

and of course, children give off a higher level, as do sleeping kittens and sleeping cats. So never, never, never drive at night in a car with two sleeping children.

Cats are the highest emitters. I almost went back to bed 3 times today.

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Rude to sleep in car?
« Reply #43 on: July 29, 2010, 10:34:09 PM »
Not much invites napping like a sleeping child or a sleeping kitty.   Especially when sleeping child is cuddled up with you as they sleep.  Gets me almost every time.   
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artk2002

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Re: Rude to sleep in car?
« Reply #44 on: July 29, 2010, 11:22:32 PM »
You went hiking and were tired from that, I assume.  I can't fault you for falling asleep.  I don't regard this as a real "social occasion" where falling asleep would be rude.
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