The fact that he insisted indicates that there were other offers/options. The fact that in addition to insisting on that in addition to insisting that OP stay awake seems to indicate a bit of controlling behavior, IMO.
I agree. I think if I were in this situation, I'd end up having to drive myself. I have a hard time staying awake in the car when I'm the passenger, but when I'm driving it's not a problem. If I had to struggle to stay awake because the driver was SS-ish enough to insist everyone stay awake, after he insisted on being the driver, I'd be pretty ticked off.
See, that's the thing though -- the OP CHOSE not to drive in this situation multiple times. The first car ride? The OP couldn't know either that s/he wasn't going to doze off or that the driver would have a problem with it. The following "few" other times this happened? S/he knew. I think it's totally rude to know the driver can't handle passengers dozing off on him/her, accept a ride from this driver, and then not do everything one can to stay awake. This is especially true in this situation where the OP admits that s/he can't even fully sleep in a car, let alone fall asleep involuntarily.
If this was a one-time occurrence it'd be a different situation altogether but the OP knew the lay of the land and chose to ignore it.
I think this is the crux of the situation. First of all, we don't know that he "can't handle it" just that he demands that she not sleep.
Where does he get off insisting that others drive? He knows the lay of the land too, so to speak. He knows that the OP falls asleep in the backseat of the car. Why doesn't he allow someone else to drive so that sometimes she can sleep, other times she can drive.
It's not a hard and fast rule that you can't sleep in someone's car while they are driving unless you are the only other passenger and they need someone to help them stay asleep.
It should also be noted that the OP is not demanding anything of the driver--like that he not talk too loud or listen to music.
What's happening is that after a day's hike, she falls asleep and he jostles her awake:"he would jokingly give me a hard time about it, jostling me awake and telling me I wasnít allowed to sleep while he had to drive us all"
But, he doesn't have to drive them all
. He insists
on driving them all.
And "allowed?" She's not "allowed" to fall asleep?
I would go beyond saying its rude to jostle someone awake just because you want them to be awake and say that its kind of heartless.
Who among you would really, number one, insist that you drive the group every time. And number two, if you have one friend out of 5 who falls asleep on the way home, would you really jostle them awake every time and demand that they interact with you?
I don't even see that he is asking that she interact--he's just claiming that its unfair that he has to drive and to make it more fair that she has to stay awake.
When really, what would make it more fair would be sharing the driving responsibilities and leave people alone. And if you need someone to remain awake, communicate that.
This guy is just all about control not etiquette!