Wedding in England - Update pg 2

[CAgirl]

Greetings e-hellions.  My sister asked me for some help and would greatly appreciate any advice/suggestions.

My sister is attending a wedding in East Sussex next month and needs to know appropriate attire.  The ceremony is at 4pm, dinner and reception to follow.  She is thinking of wearing a long strapless blue floral print dress but does not know if that is acceptable.

Additionally, she has been invited to attend “High Tea” (per the invitation) at 3:15pm and again would like help with proper attire.

Thank you!

[Larrabee]

I take it your sister is American?  The dress sounds fine, but do you have a picture just to check?  If its strapless I recommend a shrug or shawl for the earlier part of the day, partly because it makes the dress a little less evening-y and partly because it can get chilly/rainy here even at the height of summer! 

At most of the weddings I go to, guests in strappy or strapless dresses cover their shoulders for the ceremony and perhaps the rest of the 'daytime' events and then wear the dress on its own for the evening reception.  Its not a hard and fast rule but she would probably feel more comfortable rather than standing out.

I take it the high tea is on a different day to the wedding?  A more casual or 'tea dress' would be ideal, here's a few examples that I would consider appropriate:

http://www.debenhams.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/prod_10001_10001_110010313754_-1?breadcrumb=Home%7EWomen%7EDresses

http://www.debenhams.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/prod_10001_10001_54510+201013232_-1?breadcrumb=Home%7EWomen%7EDresses

http://www.johnlewis.com/124301/Style.aspx

http://www.monsoon.co.uk/Day-Dresses/Janice-Print-Dress/invt/75207702&bklist=icat,5,shop,women,dresses,smartdresses

http://www.johnlewis.com/85849/Style.aspx

http://www.monsoon.co.uk/Day-Dresses/Katy-Print-Tea-Dress/invt/75216302&bklist=icat,5,shop,women,dresses,smartdresses

[veryfluffy]

Is the actual ceremony in a church, or is it at the reception venue? is the reception at a hotel or country club? at a private home? All these things would make a difference.

Unless she is told otherwise, it's not likely to be a formal/black tie event. Normal "wedding clothes" rules would apply. The best bet would be a posh frock (strapless or otherwise) with a coordinating or matching jacket. If the wedding was in a church, she would probably want a hat as well.

When you say "long", do you mean floor length, like a ball gown? Not appropriate, in my experience. A strapless, flowery summer party dress? Perfect, with a cashmere cardigan or shrug for the ceremony.

This is a major source of what-to-wear-to-weddings: http://www.lkbennett.com/clothing/dresses?page=1

For the "high tea" -- or afternoon tea -- a nice skirt and top or a simple day dress are good, but more depends on the location.

[CAgirl]

More info:

The wedding ceremony is being held at the hotel.  The dress is actually too long for her.  She was thinking of having it hemmed to floor length, but will go shorter if needed  

The "high tea" is being held at a hotel.

(hit post too soon)

[Bethalize]

The wedding is at the hotel.  The dress is actually too long for her.  She was thinking of having it hemmed to floor length, but will go shorter if needed 

Maxi dresses are tres tres in right now. You need to show toe but other than that long is all the rage.

"High tea" is about as unposh as you can get. It's a full on spread with a meat and a sweet course. They may mean afternoon tea.

[Anthera]

The wedding is at the hotel.  The dress is actually too long for her.  She was thinking of having it hemmed to floor length, but will go shorter if needed 

Maxi dresses are tres tres in right now. You need to show toe but other than that long is all the rage.

"High tea" is about as unposh as you can get. It's a full on spread with a meat and a sweet course. They may mean afternoon tea.

I've always been amused at how people here (USA) confuse "high tea" with "afternoon tea".  Its very common.

[Larrabee]

The wedding is at the hotel.  The dress is actually too long for her.  She was thinking of having it hemmed to floor length, but will go shorter if needed  

Maxi dresses are tres tres in right now. You need to show toe but other than that long is all the rage.

"High tea" is about as unposh as you can get. It's a full on spread with a meat and a sweet course. They may mean afternoon tea.

True, I wore a floor length maxi dress to a wedding last Saturday and will be wearing it again the Saturday after next for another.  I was not and will not be the only one by a long way!

Now if only I could learn how to walk in the darn thing.

[NestHolder]

If I were going to a wedding, and to tea beforehand (which is unusual, but sounds nice), I'd wear a knee-length dress and a fabulous hat.  The hat would come off when the bride's mother removed her hat at the reception.  Might take along dancing shoes—or possibly even a flashier frock to wear for the evening part of the festivities.  One can sneak off to change in the loo. 

Although the bride will very probably be wearing a long dress, and quite likely the bridesmaids too, the guests mostly won't—at least, if they are, the dress will be a light, summery day dress rather than an evening dress.  If your sister's dress is flexible enough to cover both, she's fine.  Sadly, fabulous hats are becoming rarer, but it might well depend on the social background of bride and groom whether or not they show up at this wedding.  How posh is the invitation?

[kareng57]

The wedding is at the hotel.  The dress is actually too long for her.  She was thinking of having it hemmed to floor length, but will go shorter if needed 

Maxi dresses are tres tres in right now. You need to show toe but other than that long is all the rage.

"High tea" is about as unposh as you can get. It's a full on spread with a meat and a sweet course. They may mean afternoon tea.

I've always been amused at how people here (USA) confuse "high tea" with "afternoon tea".  Its very common.

People use the term incorrectly in Canada, too - talking about "high tea" at the Empress Hotel in Victoria, for example.  I guess people equate the term "high" with "formal", but, as has been said, high tea is very informal.  It's really more of a light supper.

[sparklestar]

Afternoon tea is tea, cakes, possibly finger sandwiches.

High tea is more like a meal and would traditionally have been eaten around 5/6pm in famillies where parents and children ate together rather than having separate "dinner" so it's a slightly lower class thing to do. It would be something like stew, mince and tatties etc but I suspect the term "high tea" is being used to indicate a meal rather than a snack in this case. I don't think they are going to feed everyone beans on toast! Lol!

The dress sounds very good but I too would have a cover up.

[squashedfrog]

The dress sounds fine but would reccommend a stole or shawl to go around the shoulders for earlier.

Remember also that its England, so it will likely be chucking it down of rain, or at least be quite cold so something to cover arms can be a comfort if its cold.  

***She says glumly staring out of her works window as the rain washes away her dreams of a BBQ tonight ... ***

Modified as realised it was a hotel wedding not a church wedding.

[squashedfrog]

I take it your sister is American?  The dress sounds fine, but do you have a picture just to check?  If its strapless I recommend a shrug or shawl for the earlier part of the day, partly because it makes the dress a little less evening-y and partly because it can get chilly/rainy here even at the height of summer!  

At most of the weddings I go to, guests in strappy or strapless dresses cover their shoulders for the ceremony and perhaps the rest of the 'daytime' events and then wear the dress on its own for the evening reception.  Its not a hard and fast rule but she would probably feel more comfortable rather than standing out.

I take it the high tea is on a different day to the wedding?  A more casual or 'tea dress' would be ideal, here's a few examples that I would consider appropriate:

http://www.debenhams.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/prod_10001_10001_110010313754_-1?breadcrumb=Home%7EWomen%7EDresses

http://www.debenhams.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/prod_10001_10001_54510+201013232_-1?breadcrumb=Home%7EWomen%7EDresses

http://www.johnlewis.com/124301/Style.aspx

http://www.monsoon.co.uk/Day-Dresses/Janice-Print-Dress/invt/75207702&bklist=icat,5,shop,women,dresses,smartdresses

http://www.johnlewis.com/85849/Style.aspx

http://www.monsoon.co.uk/Day-Dresses/Katy-Print-Tea-Dress/invt/75216302&bklist=icat,5,shop,women,dresses,smartdresses

ohh well hello little John Lewis Dress, I think you might be coming home with a little froggie over the weekend ....

If your sister doesnt like hats then facinators are very much in at the moment.   I cant wear hats myself, they make me look like either a lampshade or a mushroom.

[veryfluffy]

Afternoon tea is tea, cakes, possibly finger sandwiches.

High tea is more like a meal and would traditionally have been eaten around 5/6pm in famillies where parents and children ate together rather than having separate "dinner" so it's a slightly lower class thing to do. It would be something like stew, mince and tatties etc but I suspect the term "high tea" is being used to indicate a meal rather than a snack in this case. I don't think they are going to feed everyone beans on toast! Lol!

The dress sounds very good but I too would have a cover up.

I rather guessed that the 3:15 start time meant afternoon tea. Around where I live, people tend to refer to their evening meal (eaten quite early, at 5-30 or 6 pm) as their "tea". They will refer to their dog or cat's supper as their "tea".

So for afternoon tea in a hotel, any nice outfit, however stylish, fashionable, trendy, or goth or boho or whatever, is absolutely fine. No reason at all to dress conservatively or traditionally.

And a flowery maxi dress would be perfect for the wedding. You want something for a party, but not "formal attire", ie not an evening cocktail dress. If the wedding ceremony was in the morning with an evening reception, you would consider changing. But with everything happening from 4 pm onwards without a break really, that wouldn't work.

[LTrew]

I second the shawl or cardigan idea, or maybe a bolero.  It is quite common for women to wear fancy things on their heads to weddings here, a big hat, or a fascinator with feathers and sparkly bits so you sister might want to look into something like that.  Maybe a large flowered headband to match her dress?

[BritBride]

It shouldn't be especially cold in Sussex in August! I am English and it's about 22 degrees here at the moment - that's a bit over normal room temperature, no need for air con but you'd have the windows open to cool the place down, that sort of weather.

I would say check the colours of the bridesmaids' dresses. It's a bit unusual to wear a long-length dress to a wedding unless you are a bridesmaid, and it'd be awful to turn up looking as if you'd intended to match them.