Author Topic: Oh no ... Nieces have joined a MLM  (Read 6355 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Scritzy

  • Please do not adjust your set.
  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 15895
  • Passing through the iris of the world ...
Oh no ... Nieces have joined a MLM
« on: July 31, 2010, 10:53:23 PM »
Oldest Niece and her husband recently became reps for a MLM that I'd not heard of before. Since ON said she and hub researched it, I researched it as well. What I read did not impress me.

Still, I went to their page and checked it out, but I saw nothing that interested me as far as buying is concerned. Besides, since I'm on a rather limited income at the moment, I don't have a lot of money to spend on gadgets.

ON texted me last week asking if I'd been to their page and asking me to consider getting my next cell-phone contract through them. I tactfully said that I wasn't interested in purchasing anything right now unless her page started selling craft supplies. She said she'd check and see if they would be selling craft supplies in the future. (I was kidding!) 

Today I got an e-mail from YN, who said she and her boyfriend have decided to become reps as well! And she was urging me to become a rep, too!

Both of them made a point of saying that they were writing the "pitch" themselves, but I know canned copy when I read it. It was especially obvious with YN's pitch, because she used her sister's full name rather than her nickname. No one calls Oldest by her full name within the family.

First, I'm a little dismayed that both the girls and the guys have gotten involved with what one website called "a legal pyramid scheme." Second, I am not about to become a rep for that place. Third, I don't want to buy anything. YN also mentioned my cell-phone contract (followed by WINK, WINK). (Right now Chip and I have a joint contract, and he doesn't pay for his phone because he uses it for business. He only pays for mine. And the contract isn't going to be up for some time yet.)

What makes the situation even more delicate is, with things not going well between me and Chip, I don't want to alienate the nieces lest they decide to drop out of my life completely.

HELP!! I need more tact and bean dip than I've ever needed in my life!
Dragons

SC
It will pass. Or not.

kudeebee

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2210
Re: Oh no ... Nieces have joined a MLM
« Reply #1 on: July 31, 2010, 11:50:10 PM »
Reply to YN as you did to the oldest "I am not interested in purchasing anything at this time and our cell phone contract is not up for a long time.  As for becoming a rep for this company, I am not interested in this time." Then bean dip, end the conversation, etc.  Use this phrase every time with a polite tone of voice.

Redsoil

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2085
Re: Oh no ... Nieces have joined a MLM
« Reply #2 on: August 01, 2010, 07:29:09 AM »
Given that it's a touchy situation, I feel for you.  Perhaps something along the lines of:  "I wish you well with the new project - you seem really excited by it.  However, I'm not in a position to buy and I have a lot going on in my life at present, so I'm not interested in being a rep.  Good luck with it all."  Then onto another topic, and deflect at need. 

Should they persist, then simply repeat the gist of the message "No, I'm glad you're so excited about XYZ, but it's not for me.  Thanks for understanding."  I find the use of "thanks for understanding" is often helpful because it makes them more aware of their obligation to courtesy and can guide them in that direction.  (Unless they're "pushy" types.  In which case they'll try a work-around.  Then you go to "Sweetie, I know you want to make sales, but really?  No.  I wish you well, but won't be involved.")
Look out... 
It's one of the Aussie Contingent!


Danismom

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2030
Re: Oh no ... Nieces have joined a MLM
« Reply #3 on: August 01, 2010, 11:10:39 AM »
I agree with encouraging them in their work but simply saying that you aren't interested at this time.

Betelnut

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3761
Re: Oh no ... Nieces have joined a MLM
« Reply #4 on: August 01, 2010, 11:59:36 AM »
"I'm sorry but I don't support pyramid schemes."  Or is that too blunt?
Native Texan, Marylander currently

Suze

  • I live in the real world. I play in the Middle Ages.
  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 9249
Re: Oh no ... Nieces have joined a MLM
« Reply #5 on: August 01, 2010, 12:02:09 PM »
"I'm sorry but I don't support pyramid schemes."  Or is that too blunt?

I don't know - it hasn't worked on my BIL yet  (he is one his 3 or 4th Make Lots Money -MLM- scheme)

each one is going to make him lots and lots of bucks -- oh but I should sign up to be one of his "down line" and Make Lots Money too....
Reality is for people who lack Imagination

Rosey

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 5226
Re: Oh no ... Nieces have joined a MLM
« Reply #6 on: August 01, 2010, 01:00:59 PM »
"I'm sorry but I don't support pyramid schemes."  Or is that too blunt?

I think this is too blunt.

I would try, "I have too much going on to take on a new project and not enough money to buy anything, but I'm excited for you and your ventures!"

Scritzy

  • Please do not adjust your set.
  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 15895
  • Passing through the iris of the world ...
Re: Oh no ... Nieces have joined a MLM
« Reply #7 on: August 01, 2010, 07:56:34 PM »
[I would try, "I have too much going on to take on a new project and not enough money to buy anything, but I'm excited for you and your ventures!"

I like this and what Redsoil said, especially that I have too much on my plate right now to take on a new project. Truer words were never spoken!

ON texted me and said they did indeed sell craft supplies through Joanne's and another place, so that may be my out. Since we don't have a Joanne's here, I could purchase something small to pacify them. I've no intention of purchasing something as important as a cell-phone contract. What if the AG were to shut the company down in their state? It's already happened in one state, and I'd be left out in the cold with no contract!

I asked Chip what he was going to do, and he said, "I'm telling them, as much as I love you guys and wish you the best, I have too much distaste for MLMs to get involved." He can afford to be more blunt than I can. ;)
Dragons

SC
It will pass. Or not.

Balletmom

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 6850
Re: Oh no ... Nieces have joined a MLM
« Reply #8 on: August 01, 2010, 08:13:39 PM »
I feel your pain. Just the realization of MLM combined with the nieces, made me want to stick my hand in the blender.

I agree also with going with a "can't take on any more responsibilities right now, thanks!" and bean dip like crazy.

If you really want to maintain the relationship, then making a token purchase is a good idea. It stinks, but it does at least buy you some time before the disillusion (and it will surely come) hits.

My BIL once joined a MLM that sold electricity. DH spent a lengthy evening with discussing why MLMs relying on the pyramid basis, were always bad, and BIL seemed to get it. The next day we had a long phone message from BIL about how if we'd just come to this meeting, we'd find ourselves convinced! And understand why! He'd just gone to his superior and drank the kool-aid of easy riches.

The question I wanted to ask BIL was, "Why the Heck would I put YOU in charge of my vital electricity, when you can barely manage to live without bailouts from your mother?"

But that would be rude. 

We never heard anything else about it from BIL, so it must have gone the way of all stupid, greedy decisions.

Bottom line, Scritzy, just wait this one out.

shhh its me

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 7017
Re: Oh no ... Nieces have joined a MLM
« Reply #9 on: August 01, 2010, 09:10:52 PM »
  I think the gentle honesty PPs have suggested is great. Since you want to remain social with them I'd try to encourage non marketing get together even if it's just a cup of coffee or chatty emails .  If they ever have a product you would like to buy then buy it. I hate with a passion some MLM and how they operate ,so much so I can get preachy about it.  Some are more legitimate then others , Tupperware & Mary Kay , but some are just a phrase in a contract and a training tape away from being actual illegal pyramid scheme.  For those with showtime Penn & Tellers show just did MLM , if you have never seen the show there is gratuitous nudity and tons of swearing I didn't even try to get past the filter with the name of the show and is is infortaniment not hard hitting journalism.

 

Shoo

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 16393
Re: Oh no ... Nieces have joined a MLM
« Reply #10 on: August 01, 2010, 09:16:39 PM »
I asked Chip what he was going to do, and he said, "I'm telling them, as much as I love you guys and wish you the best, I have too much distaste for MLMs to get involved." He can afford to be more blunt than I can. ;)

I think Chip has the right idea.  Having seen personally how an MLM can wreck someone's life, I would be very hard pressed to express excitement for their new venture.  In fact, if these were people I cared very much about, I'd do everything I could to discourage them.

dingodog

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 253
Re: Oh no ... Nieces have joined a MLM
« Reply #11 on: August 02, 2010, 02:04:12 PM »
[I would try, "I have too much going on to take on a new project and not enough money to buy anything, but I'm excited for you and your ventures!"

I like this and what Redsoil said, especially that I have too much on my plate right now to take on a new project. Truer words were never spoken!

ON texted me and said they did indeed sell craft supplies through Joanne's and another place, so that may be my out. Since we don't have a Joanne's here, I could purchase something small to pacify them. I've no intention of purchasing something as important as a cell-phone contract. What if the AG were to shut the company down in their state? It's already happened in one state, and I'd be left out in the cold with no contract!

I asked Chip what he was going to do, and he said, "I'm telling them, as much as I love you guys and wish you the best, I have too much distaste for MLMs to get involved." He can afford to be more blunt than I can. ;)

IMO you shouldn't buy anything, even small. It likely will just give them more incentive and hope that they will get that big sale from you. That's the way these MLMs work, people give a little to make them go away but it has the opposite affect!

I don't know the details of your and Chip's situation like others here may, but I like his style and I think you should follow suit. If not getting a sale off you is worth severing a relationship to them, you don't need 'em anyway.

blarg314

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 8504
Re: Oh no ... Nieces have joined a MLM
« Reply #12 on: August 09, 2010, 05:37:24 AM »
If you can buy something from that you would be purchasing anyways at a similar or cheaper price than you would from the store, I don't see the harm.

The problem is that this can be taken as encouragement.

You bought once, so they now know you can be convinced to buy something. This frequently results in them upping the pressure to get you to give in again.

And if you think about it - if every one the seller knows gives in and buys one item to support them - that can add up to a *lot* of sales. Enough to encourage them to keep on with it.

I have no problem with people selling stuff via direct sales *if* they ask once and stop after I tell them I'm not interested. If they cross the line to forced sales pitches, nagging, and repeatedly trying to convince me, then they end up in the same category as telemarketers - ie, there's no way I'm buying from them even if I actually want the product and their price is better than the competition.

Just Lori

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4432
  • USA
Re: Oh no ... Nieces have joined a MLM
« Reply #13 on: August 09, 2010, 11:48:16 AM »
Something else to consider - most likely, you are not the only one who is either ignoring their pitch or turning them down.

I've never done an MLM, but I remember seeing my friends' start-up materials.  It instructed him to make up a list of every single person they knew, from their great-grandmothers to the woman who happened to be with their girlfriend when they ran into her at McDonalds last week.  Every person.  Contact every person you know now or have ever known, because everyone deserves an opportunity to take advantage of such a great sales and business opportunity.

You're certainly not going to be the only one who says "I don't think so."  I guarantee it. 

In the past, I've liked the whole, "As a rule, I do not do business with people I love" line.  I have also found that when I offer to actually buy something they're selling, as opposed to becoming an independent marketer in their down line (is that the right term?), they never contact me again.

kingsrings

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 9708
Re: Oh no ... Nieces have joined a MLM
« Reply #14 on: August 09, 2010, 01:54:14 PM »
It breaks my heart to see that people still fall for these MLM schemes. All we can do is hope that they see the error of their ways before they lose too much $$. Just a few weeks ago, one of my co-workers (we are being laid off) told me that heís going to get involved in a certain big, financial MLM as his next employment. And my momís apt. complex newsletter just recently published an ad (paid for by her neighbor, another of this MLMís rep).

You canít just outright tell them that this is a pyramid scheme, though. That would just lead to discord and defensiveness. You can gently suggest that you hope theyíve read up on the MLM, but thatís about it.