Author Topic: Do you tell your friends that you love them?  (Read 2028 times)

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TheresaJr.

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Do you tell your friends that you love them?
« on: August 02, 2010, 12:37:24 PM »
If so, when?

If not, why?

Can you tell your platonic buddies of the opposite sex that you love them?

Do you expect your friends to reciprocate?

Just wondering; I love the people who have brought happiness and encouragement to my life and I feel like I should let them know.  Before it is too late.

Is telling them that I love being their friend the same as telling them that I love them?

hobish

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Re: Do you tell your friends that you love them?
« Reply #1 on: August 02, 2010, 12:43:43 PM »
Yes, frequently! I have wondered before if other people do.

My bff and I tell each other “I love you” all the time. My best guy friends I tell it to pretty often, and I kiss them, too. My "adopted" little brother (16, adopted by each other as siblings, not officially) gets head rubs and I love yous because he is adorable and I like mussing his hair.  :)

We're an affectionate bunch, for the most part.

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Corbin

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Re: Do you tell your friends that you love them?
« Reply #2 on: August 02, 2010, 12:54:09 PM »
I didn't used to. I had a friend who told all his friends, male and female, that he loved them. We all picked it up and started saying in back to him, and to each other. He was killed during our deployment in Iraq. I cannot even begin to tell you what a comfort it was to know that he loved us, and that he knew we loved him. Since then, I make a point to tell my friends, male and female, that I love them. It can be awkward at first. Sadly, we don't seem to have a word that would distinguish friendship-love from romantic-love, so you just have to work with what we have.
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MaggieB

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Re: Do you tell your friends that you love them?
« Reply #3 on: August 02, 2010, 12:56:13 PM »
I do.  I don't tell them every time we talk, but I say it if we're not going to see each other for a while or I'll write it in their birthday/Christmas cards.  Sometimes I say it just because.

My closest platonic buddies of the opposite sex are married or in serious relationships, so I try to avoid anything that might make their SOs uncomfortable.  When I tell them I love them now, I'm careful to include their whole family (SOs and kids if applicable.)  I did tell them I love them more before they married.

I don't think "I love being your friend" is the same as "I love you," but it is still a nice sentiment if that's what you feel comfortable expressing.

MariaE

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Re: Do you tell your friends that you love them?
« Reply #4 on: August 02, 2010, 12:59:56 PM »
My closest friends and people I know won't take it the wrong way - yes, absolutely and it doesn't matter if they're male or female.

I don't expect them to reciprocate, and don't say it every time we're together, but when it feels appropriate.

I don't think "I love being your friend" is the same as "I love you," but it is still a nice sentiment if that's what you feel comfortable expressing.

Agreed.
 
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ladiedeathe

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Re: Do you tell your friends that you love them?
« Reply #5 on: August 02, 2010, 01:04:02 PM »
I tell female friends I love you all the time, because they are loved and valued. My male friends are typically 1/2 a couple, and I will usually tell them with their wife there "I just love you guys!" to make sure there are no misunderstandings.

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MissRose

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Re: Do you tell your friends that you love them?
« Reply #6 on: August 02, 2010, 01:13:20 PM »
I don't really say to my female friends, there are a few female friends that I will say so as they are like 2nd mothers to me.

I do also say it to my male BFF but I make sure his g/f isnt around as she might take it the wrong way.  He's also like having a brother and refers to me as the older sister he never had.

Just Lori

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Re: Do you tell your friends that you love them?
« Reply #7 on: August 02, 2010, 01:28:30 PM »
Nope.  I can write it:  Love, Lori.  I can say things like, "See, that's why I love you so much - you always say what I'm thinking."  But I have always had a heckuva time saying "I love you" straight out.  My parents never used those terms, although there was no doubt in our minds that we were loved and cherished.  I never needed to hear those terms from them, and I grew up without hearing or saying it.

To be honest, I probably make those words more sacred than they should be.  Growing up, "I love you" was reserved for the important moments, like when you left home or going into surgery.  I had a good girlfriend who believed that you don't say those words to a boy until you are in a very serious relationship and meant it from your heart, and I probably picked up on that.  Unfortunately, that led to some serious disappointment when I met boys who didn't place nearly as much importance on the words as I did.

I do tell my spouse and my kids that I love them.  I have no problem saying it to them.  I still have a hard time saying it to my parents or friends.  My in-laws say it to me a lot, and I sometimes question their sincerity.  So once again, the words have a lot of baggage, and I have a hard time using them freely.  Hopefully that will change over time.

penguinpants

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Re: Do you tell your friends that you love them?
« Reply #8 on: August 02, 2010, 01:28:56 PM »
Long-distance friends are told each time that we talk, visit, or exchange letters/emails.  Close-by friends are reminded when they're having a bad day or a good day (i.e., just got a promotion or an award).  I'm able to demonstrate love through regular actions with friends who are immediately near, whereas friends at a distance don't get that regular demonstration, so I make sure they know how I feel.  My husband?  I tell him several times a day!  :D
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Akarui Kibuno

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Re: Do you tell your friends that you love them?
« Reply #9 on: August 02, 2010, 01:37:18 PM »
I say it all the time, to the people I love. If I say it to someone who has a partner who might take it the wrong way, I explain things first, and I don't use the term in front of that person if he or she doesn't like it, out of respect for their rel@tionships.

I am lucky enough that I haven't lost someone very very close to me yet (I lost both grandmothers, but as much as I loved them, I saw them less than once a year because of distance) . And I want people to know they're loved. Sometimes I love people I don't know much yet, because their personality just shines through me, but I don't care, I just love people.

There are even E-Hell people I really like without talking to them personally much (or ever, heh) , and while I wouldn't dare telling them "I love youuuuuuuuuuuu" right off the bat, one day I'll tell them :)
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AdakAK

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Re: Do you tell your friends that you love them?
« Reply #10 on: August 02, 2010, 01:39:18 PM »
I do!  I do love them.  I don't say it to more casual friends.  I don't want to be in a position posted above and wonder if they knew how much they meant to me.

MizB

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Re: Do you tell your friends that you love them?
« Reply #11 on: August 02, 2010, 02:10:46 PM »
I say it to my friends. Some friends hear it just like my family every time we hang up or leave each other. Some friends just hear it whenever I feel it needs to be said. Either way they should know.  :D
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siamesecat2965

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Re: Do you tell your friends that you love them?
« Reply #12 on: August 02, 2010, 03:19:58 PM »
I don't; I even have trouble saying it to my mom, and to my dad, when he was alive.  We were not a demonstrative family at all, didn't hug or kiss, and never ever said we loved each other.  I think the only time I heard my mom say it to my dad was the day before he died......But that's just the way we are, doesn't mean we don't love each other....

I can write, love, siamesecat in a card or note, but simply can't say it. 

Animala

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Re: Do you tell your friends that you love them?
« Reply #13 on: August 02, 2010, 03:28:54 PM »
I do.  My bff knows I love her.  I probably say it most when she does something crazy and the answer is always "and that's why I love you"

happygrrl

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Re: Do you tell your friends that you love them?
« Reply #14 on: August 02, 2010, 03:43:06 PM »
Quote
Long-distance friends are told each time that we talk, visit, or exchange letters/emails.  Close-by friends are reminded when they're having a bad day or a good day (i.e., just got a promotion or an award).  I'm able to demonstrate love through regular actions with friends who are immediately near, whereas friends at a distance don't get that regular demonstration, so I make sure they know how I feel.  My husband?  I tell him several times a day! 

This. Exactly.

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