General Etiquette > Family and Children

What did I just see and hear?

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Syfygeek:
I have reconnected with relatives and have seen them a few times since June (background info-http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=78675.0)

But a couple of things have left me speechless- and I need help from Ehell to remain polite, or at least not embarrassing them.

Thing 1- Bathroom door etiquette- In my family we close the door, what happens in the bathroom stays in the bathroom.  But relatives family has an "open door policy". I walked past the bathroom to see Oldest Child on the toilet, reading a magazine (and Oldest Child is a 20 y/o male).  I continued to the bedroom I was using, shut the door and didn't come out until I heard flushing!

Additional thing 2- Cousin was in shower, forgot something, yelled for his daughter to bring him something- that's when I realized he was in the shower with the bathroom door open- I remained in the living room, not walking anywhere near the bathroom.

Final Thing- Prejudice- Cousin's dad was prejudiced, as was mine.  When discussing things our dads would say, I do not use those words, cousin does.  And cousin uses those words in parking lots, and at dinner, and anytime.  Even worse, I heard my mom's sister using those words.  I know I should have said something, but I was speechless.  It is really like when I was a kid and didn't know that what my dad said was wrong, before I knew enough to look beyond skin color.

Cousin is a preacher, and I'm having a hard time reconciling the religious man with the hateful words I hear.  Any suggestions on how to ignore or beandip? 

Mahdoumi:
Ask the preacher about the biblical history of the Samaritans?   ;D

Roe:

--- Quote from: Syfygeek on August 03, 2010, 11:16:59 AM ---Any suggestions on how to ignore or beandip? 
--- End quote ---

As wonderful as they sound, I would just stay away.  ::)

Rosey:
I don't think you can do much about an open door policy when you are in someone else's house, but I would suggest not staying *with* them anymore when you visit. Hotels are a wonderful thing  ;)

Honestly, I can't imagine having an open door policy with my brothers or my dad.  :-X

As to the innappropriate language, I think you can and should ask them not to speak that way around you. Your cousin is in a position where he should know better.

Bibliophile:

--- Quote from: Rosey on August 03, 2010, 02:28:34 PM ---I don't think you can do much about an open door policy when you are in someone else's house, but I would suggest not staying *with* them anymore when you visit. Hotels are a wonderful thing  ;)

Honestly, I can't imagine having an open door policy with my brothers or my dad.  :-X

As to the innappropriate language, I think you can and should ask them not to speak that way around you. Your cousin is in a position where he should know better.

--- End quote ---

POD to this.  I would ignore the open door policy, but prejudice is NOT an etiquette issue and hurting someone's feelings by telling them you don't think that language/attitude is appropriate does not matter, IMO.

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