Author Topic: Is it a mean nickname?  (Read 9925 times)

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Lisbeth

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Re: Is it a mean nickname?
« Reply #30 on: August 03, 2010, 05:49:50 PM »
I often refer to Kitten as "Brat" or "Bratalicious"**.  It is ALWAYS said with affection/love and she knows it.  While I get some strange looks when we're out in public for using the term...honestly, I really don't care what others think.  Kitten knows we love her, she has no insecurities about our terms of affection for her.  I think the women from your OP was very rude and needed to mind her own business.

**When I was a kid, my Mom referred to my brother and I as the "Brats of her heart".  I always knew it was said with love and have no negative feelings about the term.**

You know that about yourself, and you're lucky.  Unfortunately, many other kids just don't have that security.  I think giving a kid a name or nickname that is likely to make them a target of unkind teasing and bullying is not doing them any favors, and shrugging it off as "I don't care what others think" sounds kind of dismissive of what such kids go through.  My last name made me a target and I was told "Just ignore it."  That advice did absolutely nothing positive for me-to this day it's still very hard for me to meet strangers due to being teased unmercifully.  It made my life in grade school hell.
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Nox

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Re: Is it a mean nickname?
« Reply #31 on: August 03, 2010, 05:56:20 PM »
Park lady was totally rude. However, I'd dial back on public use of Prissy Boy, since I think it generally does have a really negative meaning (even though it's loving in your family). The negative version is bound to catch up with him in an ugly way, and I'd hate that to happen to as sweet a boy as he seems to be.

Perhaps you could shorten it to PB and have that be your "secret code". A lot of kids really love the idea of a shared secret. Plus, you all would know what it means and it would still be a loving family in-group thing, but without the potential for backlash or teasing if his friends heard it.

Also, you said he was 6, right? 6 doesn't seem to old for a basic conversation about the differences between public and private aspects of a person's life, or for a follow up about how you're going to call him family nicknames at home and <whatever else> in public.

magiccat26

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Re: Is it a mean nickname?
« Reply #32 on: August 03, 2010, 06:17:42 PM »
I often refer to Kitten as "Brat" or "Bratalicious"**.  It is ALWAYS said with affection/love and she knows it.  While I get some strange looks when we're out in public for using the term...honestly, I really don't care what others think.  Kitten knows we love her, she has no insecurities about our terms of affection for her.  I think the women from your OP was very rude and needed to mind her own business.

**When I was a kid, my Mom referred to my brother and I as the "Brats of her heart".  I always knew it was said with love and have no negative feelings about the term.**

You know that about yourself, and you're lucky.  Unfortunately, many other kids just don't have that security.  I think giving a kid a name or nickname that is likely to make them a target of unkind teasing and bullying is not doing them any favors, and shrugging it off as "I don't care what others think" sounds kind of dismissive of what such kids go through.  My last name made me a target and I was told "Just ignore it."  That advice did absolutely nothing positive for me-to this day it's still very hard for me to meet strangers due to being teased unmercifully.  It made my life in grade school hell.

It's not meant to be dismissive at all.  I'm the kid who was always the shortest in our class and didn't hit 100 lbs until I was married at age 23.  I was called "Runt" by my friends and family and less kind names by kids who were not my friends...so I get name calling can be hurtful.  But it's all about intent and instilling a strong sense of self confidence in the boy.  Kimblee's family is using a term of affection for the boy that they all love.  If he was bothered by it, my answer would be different...but he's not.  So it really is not anyone's business.  The lady was out of line.
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Lisbeth

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Re: Is it a mean nickname?
« Reply #33 on: August 03, 2010, 06:28:57 PM »
I often refer to Kitten as "Brat" or "Bratalicious"**.  It is ALWAYS said with affection/love and she knows it.  While I get some strange looks when we're out in public for using the term...honestly, I really don't care what others think.  Kitten knows we love her, she has no insecurities about our terms of affection for her.  I think the women from your OP was very rude and needed to mind her own business.

**When I was a kid, my Mom referred to my brother and I as the "Brats of her heart".  I always knew it was said with love and have no negative feelings about the term.**

You know that about yourself, and you're lucky.  Unfortunately, many other kids just don't have that security.  I think giving a kid a name or nickname that is likely to make them a target of unkind teasing and bullying is not doing them any favors, and shrugging it off as "I don't care what others think" sounds kind of dismissive of what such kids go through.  My last name made me a target and I was told "Just ignore it."  That advice did absolutely nothing positive for me-to this day it's still very hard for me to meet strangers due to being teased unmercifully.  It made my life in grade school hell.

It's not meant to be dismissive at all.  I'm the kid who was always the shortest in our class and didn't hit 100 lbs until I was married at age 23.  I was called "Runt" by my friends and family and less kind names by kids who were not my friends...so I get name calling can be hurtful.  But it's all about intent and instilling a strong sense of self confidence in the boy.  Kimblee's family is using a term of affection for the boy that they all love.  If he was bothered by it, my answer would be different...but he's not.  So it really is not anyone's business.  The lady was out of line.

Well, if my mother had called me a nickname that got me teased in front of others, she might not care what others think, but I certainly do!  I'm the one who's getting teased. 

I think instilling a strong sense of confidence in one's child is undermined by making them a target and then telling them "just ignore it" or "just deal" because "it's not anyone's business."  Perhaps not, but by teasing, they make it their business and it has to be dealt with.
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browzer11

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Re: Is it a mean nickname?
« Reply #34 on: August 03, 2010, 07:21:55 PM »
I would suggest that the boy be called by his real name.

PrissyBoy ??? ... if this continues, he'll be in counseling for the rest of his life.

It's a rude ignorant nickname. Sorry to be blunt, but you don't call a boy that , ever.

wheeitsme

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Re: Is it a mean nickname?
« Reply #35 on: August 03, 2010, 07:30:07 PM »
I would suggest that the boy be called by his real name.

PrissyBoy ??? ... if this continues, he'll be in counseling for the rest of his life.

It's a rude ignorant nickname. Sorry to be blunt, but you don't call a boy that , ever.

FYI:

I know you probably didn't mean to, but your post came across as very rude and judgemental.  You might want to dial it back a little next time.

browzer11

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Re: Is it a mean nickname?
« Reply #36 on: August 03, 2010, 08:02:58 PM »
My apologies. Didn't mean to offend.
I will rethink what I write in the future.

Again, sorry.

Elfmama

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Re: Is it a mean nickname?
« Reply #37 on: August 03, 2010, 08:39:13 PM »
Hmm. I wonder if six is old enough to understand that we call him one thing at home and another in public.

He understands that his brother's friends call him by his name, and calls his brother by his name in public, would that indicate he's old enough?
More than old enough. 

As an example, Grandson #1 has the same first name as his father, a very common English name.  In the family, he has always been called by a Russian diminutive, rather than the English.  (Slavic heritage on both sides.) But when he went into Kindergarten at age 5 1/2, he chose at that time to be called by his given name, not the diminutive.  So the diminutive is only for the family.
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Venus193

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Re: Is it a mean nickname?
« Reply #38 on: August 03, 2010, 08:45:19 PM »
The woman in the park was rude, but I can understand why.  She probably thought your son was a Niles in the making.

Please reconsider this nickname.  Don't put this off because the last thing your son needs is a nickname that others will use as a weapon against him (regardless of how you arrived at it).  "Life ain't easy for A Boy Named Sue."

immadz

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Re: Is it a mean nickname?
« Reply #39 on: August 03, 2010, 08:47:03 PM »
Is it a mean nickname? Imo, yes it is a mean nickname. It is a word that is usually associated with homophobic slurs. No one can stop you from using it but using it to call your nephew could lead people to think that you were (a) insulting him (b) diminishing the hurt caused to LGBT community or (c) the kind of people who would indulge in offensive name calling. I would suggest rethinking nephew's nickname.


Shoo

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Re: Is it a mean nickname?
« Reply #40 on: August 03, 2010, 08:51:03 PM »
That woman was wrong to intrude, but that is about the worst nickname for a boy I can imagine.  Please don't call him that anymore.  Poor kid.

blarg314

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Re: Is it a mean nickname?
« Reply #41 on: August 03, 2010, 09:19:11 PM »

If I heard someone use the nickname Prissy Boy, I would assume that it was an insult, and that it was meant in a mean way. So yes, it's a mean nickname. And I wouldn't be surprised if more people tried to intervene in what they will see as a family attaching a cruel and potentially damaging nickname to a small child.

Once the kid starts school, if anyone other than the family hears this, they will latch on to it and make the child's life hell.

I'd equate a nickname like this for a boy to be similar to having a chubby child whose nickname is "Fat Boy". The initial root of the name might be innocent, but it's better to drop it as fast as possible before you are unable to do so.

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Re: Is it a mean nickname?
« Reply #42 on: August 03, 2010, 09:26:35 PM »
The woman in the park was rude, but I can understand why.  She probably thought your son was a Niles in the making.

Please reconsider this nickname.  Don't put this off because the last thing your son needs is a nickname that others will use as a weapon against him (regardless of how you arrived at it).  "Life ain't easy for A Boy Named Sue."

He's my cousin's child. I did not give him the nickname, and I kinda feel bad about everything now. I don;t want to insult the little tyke, he's a great kid. (Not that any six year old is deserving of being called mean names.)

And I am still unsure how it has anything to do with homophobia, but since it appears a lot of other posters associate it with that, I'm gonna mention it to my cousin.

@blarg: "Fattie" is my great aunt's nickname. Come to think of it, some of our family nicknames are really weird.

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kareng57

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Re: Is it a mean nickname?
« Reply #43 on: August 03, 2010, 09:36:05 PM »
First off--yelly park lady was rude, no question.

That being said--

Except as a nickname for Priscilla, I would assume anyone being called prissy was (seen by the name-callers as) fussy about their clothes and about not getting dirty, was wimpy, etc., and that most people barely tolerate this in a girl, but judge it as a moral failing in a boy ("what kind of boy doesn't want to get dirty?  It's not natural!") etc. and from there many make the leap to connect those traits to being g*a*y, effeminate, etc. and from THERE make the leap that those are further moral failings.

Let me hasten to add that I do not, but that it is common enough that I would hesitate to use such a nickname in public lest people make the same assumptions yelly park lady did.

Hmm. I wonder if six is old enough to understand that we call him one thing at home and another in public.

He understands that his brother's friends call him by his name, and calls his brother by his name in public, would that indicate he's old enough?

Oh, and he has no provblem with getting dirty. But when he's done he wants help to take a bath, comb his hair and put on clean clothes. On the brightside, I never have trouble getting him dressed nicely for picture taking.  >:D

And while i can try to convince his father to use Frog, i kinda was joking. Though its a cute name. Hmm.


Mean, no.  Somewhat ill-advised - yes. While the woman was butting-in to something that was none of her business, I think it's still an indication that you need to rethink this.

Venus193

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Re: Is it a mean nickname?
« Reply #44 on: August 03, 2010, 09:37:43 PM »
The more threads I read about nicknames the happier I am that I never had one.