Author Topic: Naked children in the yard  (Read 11425 times)

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LadyPekoe

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Re: Naked children in the yard
« Reply #75 on: August 06, 2010, 10:59:00 AM »
OP here.

1.  Sadly, talking about the barking would make any neighbor roll their eyes.  Duchess barks plenty but only for short bursts because we never leave her outside.  Oddly, she never barks at those neighbors.  OTOH, all the dogs around us bark incessantly.  For example, one dog a couple yards away barked, nonstop, for two hours Saturday night.  So the odds of noise complaints on Duchess when there are much worse offenders on our block are very minimal and we all know it.  They would probably just roll their eyes at that comment.

2.  DH thinks the kid is closer to 3 than 5.  The kid walks and runs just fine and talks in complete sentences.  I think he might be more like 4 although we are bad at that stuff.

3.  These fences are only 4-feet high and our yards are fairly narrow.  Even with privacy slats, I could see right over it.  Plus we have a pretty obsessive HOA, I don't know if those would work under it.

4.  I have no relationship with these neighbors, DH and I keep to ourselves. 

I think if they do it again (it seems to have trailed off) I will just tell them that the naked child makes DH and I uncomfortable and I would really, really, really appreciate it if they could put underpants on him.  If they come back with a potty training excuse, I will have to understand (I guess) but how long does it take to potty train?  This has been over months. 
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dragonflies

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Re: Naked children in the yard
« Reply #76 on: August 06, 2010, 11:00:02 AM »
I live in a suburb of Houston and most homes in a subdivision have wood privacy fences.  Even with the privacy fence, I can still see into yards.  I have two year old DD, who runs around naked and in a diaper inside our house with our shades drawn.  I wouldn't let her go outside w/o clothes.

As a child, we didn't have any neighbors and my mom would let us go au natural in the back yard.  I can understand the OP's uncomfortableness.  I am not comfortable when my own nephew who is 4 runs around naked in his parent's house.  His mom is ok with so I figured it must be my problem not theirs.  He does undress very often.
 
I would approach it more as your child is shaking the fence and I wouldn't want your child to get hurt.  

Virg

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Re: Naked children in the yard
« Reply #77 on: August 06, 2010, 11:26:55 AM »
Caligrl wrote:

"I'm with ya, running around naked in the yard and "going" wherever you want doesn't sound like a logical potty training method at all."

The idea isn't to allow the child to go anywhere.  The nudity is so that they don't have to shed clothing to get on the potty in time.  It cuts down on accidents because they got to the toilet but couldn't get undressed quickly enough.

Virg

evely28

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Re: Naked children in the yard
« Reply #78 on: August 06, 2010, 11:51:42 AM »
My daughter would take her swimsuit off when it got wet. She couldn't stand wet clothing. This can really help with potty training.

Midnight Kitty

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Re: Naked children in the yard
« Reply #79 on: August 06, 2010, 12:30:55 PM »
I have 2 short stories about children going naked in the yard.

The 5 year old boy I babysat 25 years ago:  We walked in a muddy area, so I had him take off his shoes, go barefoot in the mud, then dry & wipe our feet off before putting our shoes back on.  His mother told me she found him rolling naked on the lawn (behind an 8 foot privacy fence).  He wanted to play in the mud, so he took all his clothes off, folded them neatly, and got totally muddy.  When she found him, he was drying and wiping his body off before getting dressed.  No one outside the yard could see him, but I thought it was an adorable anecdote. ;D

Then there's our calabash niece, born on DH's 49th birthday, so we call her his birthday niece and they have a special bond.  Up until she was 5 years old, she hated wearing clothes.  Her mother would put clothes on her, but it was a struggle, sometimes more of a fight than a mother of 4 could summon up, so she went naked.  Her parents didn't like it, they tried to keep her out of the public eye, but she would scream and cry and tear her clothes off, then run out the door.

She grew out of it a couple years ago.
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DoubleTrouble

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Re: Naked children in the yard
« Reply #80 on: August 06, 2010, 01:07:47 PM »
<snip>

Then there's our calabash niece, born on DH's 49th birthday, so we call her his birthday niece and they have a special bond.  Up until she was 5 years old, she hated wearing clothes.  Her mother would put clothes on her, but it was a struggle, sometimes more of a fight than a mother of 4 could summon up, so she went naked.  Her parents didn't like it, they tried to keep her out of the public eye, but she would scream and cry and tear her clothes off, then run out the door.

She grew out of it a couple years ago.

My former boss had a 5 year old who hated to wear clothes. She would strip down to nekkid status as soon as she got through the door of their house. Getting clothes on her was a daily struggle.

Boss did try to enforce underwear in the yard but this was a strong willed kid who was also super-smart (I met her a few times, boss wasn't kidding!). The only way they broke her of it was she wanted to go to school nekkid one day in the middle of winter. Boss said no, you at least have to put on underwear & shoes (boss had had enough!).

Took about two seconds of the kid being out in the cold and she decided that wearing warm clothes was much nicer ;D Don't worry boss would have enforced the "wearing clothes for school" rule but figured that if the kid understand why she had to wear clothes, the process would go much smoother. And the kid didn't put up a fuss after that. But that incident did happen in their driveway if I remember correctly.

In January.

Danismom

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Re: Naked children in the yard
« Reply #81 on: August 06, 2010, 01:32:04 PM »
I would probably call CPS for guidance.  I've had to do this before when I wasn't sure if it should be a reported claim or should go to some other agency.  The person taking the report can help you figure out what the proper authority to make the report with would be.  I would be worried about pedophiles.  Not so much because they will do something physically to that child but because the parents are putting the child "on display" by letting him run around naked in full view of the streets and all houses on the block.  Child p*rnography is a huge thing and my understanding is that many pictures are simply naked children not doing anything sexual at all.  Anyone could be taking pictures of this child and posting them on those sites.  That would be my concern.

Violet Tulip

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Re: Naked children in the yard
« Reply #82 on: August 06, 2010, 03:53:10 PM »
OP, you said that normally your dog likes the little boy, correct? Have you ever noticed how he reacts when she barks at him? Maybe it would work if you said something like "Duchess doesn't recognize her friend without his clothes and it scares her. We don't want her to be scared, so please tell your son that he can't come to the fence to talk to the dog when he is naked" Would it be easier to talk about if the focus was on not wanted the dog to be scared, rather than nakedness? Also, if the little boy is upset that the normally friendly dog is barking at him, his comfort could be brought up as well.

noexitwounds

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Re: Naked children in the yard
« Reply #83 on: August 08, 2010, 12:50:06 PM »
I would call childrens services.  Neither a 3 yo or a 5 yo should have enough sexual knowledge to be intentionally gyrating naked in front of a neighbor.  Sexual knowledge that is too advanced for a child's age can be a symptom of abuse.  OP, I think the creepy feeling this gives you could be an intuition.

Totally not true. Many children instinctively touch their privates and/or rub them against things at the toddler stage because it feels good. It's a completely normal thing for the age development.
« Last Edit: August 08, 2010, 01:03:34 PM by noexitwounds »
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LadyClaire

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Re: Naked children in the yard
« Reply #84 on: August 09, 2010, 08:09:18 AM »
Sort of related, in a way...but many, many years ago, when my parents were first married and bought their first house, the next door neighbor kept turkeys in his yard. My mother had two dogs, and there was only a chain link fence between the yards.

The turkeys liked to go up to the fence and try to peck at the dogs through the fence, which of course greatly upset the dogs. The turkeys would also stand against the fence and cluck/gobble at the dogs, which also upset them.

One day the dogs got fed up..and my mother went outside to see that both dogs, which were male, had lifted their legs and were peeing all over the turkeys through the fence..who were just stupidly standing there, gobbling at them as they got peed on.

I'm guessing if a child had been antagonizing the dogs the end result would've been the same.

MommyPenguin

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Re: Naked children in the yard
« Reply #85 on: August 09, 2010, 09:17:16 PM »
I agree with the others that the gyrating is probably nothing.  Little kids do things with abandon, and some of their gestures can often seem adult in a way.  Like "dancing" by moving their hips, or the way they pull against a fence, or things like that.  And while some kids don't really notice their privates, other kids are intrigued by what's hidden by their diaper.  And some kids are allowed to watch music videos that show people dancing and will pick up movements that look very sexual on a child, even if the music video isn't really all that nasty.  So I don't think the fact that the kid is naked or that he's gyrating/dancing/shaking the fence necessarily warrants the consideration that he's sexually precocious and perhaps being abused.

And I think part of the naked potty training is not just that it's easier for them to get to the potty and not have to take off clothes, but also that most kids dislike the feel of urine/stool on their bodies, and that it makes it easier for them to tell when it's coming--they feel a certain feeling, that feeling increases, then they feel a new sensation and look there's something coming out!  They learn to recognize the first feeling as "I need to go" and that it leads to urination/a bowel movement.  However, I think most of that process should be over within a few days, maybe a few weeks at most.  By that point, they've gotten what they can from being naked.  And as for learning to take off clothes, well, they should be dressed simply with clothes they can manage themselves, but they should be learning how to remove their clothes, it's part of the process.  And if the kid is at least 3, really, he should be able to get what he can from the "naked potty training" and be able to handle clothes within a few weeks at most.  If that's really what he was naked for, he's ready to move on.  I think it's safe to say something to the parents.  I wouldn't potty-train my kid that way, but I've heard of people who do.  I really think that it should be contained to one weekend or so, and done with kids who are at the younger end of the potty-training scale.  By the time your kid is 4, maybe even 3, nobody really wants to see them naked.  Find another way to train them.

TootsNYC

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Re: Naked children in the yard
« Reply #86 on: August 09, 2010, 11:33:50 PM »

If it really is the nudity that bothers the dog could go with something along the lines that the dog could get to the sensitive parts while the child is nude? Especially since it's a chain link fence, sensitive parts could be snapped at quite easily. Just a thought.

I was thinking the exact same thing but I couldn't think of a way to put it as delicately as you did. 

My goodness, don't do that--they'll decide the dog is really dangerous or something.

But I think it's fair to explain that the dog is bothered by the unexpected nudity or his little friend (you just want to tell this in a way that makes it clear you aren't projecting your own biases).

Make it be about promoting the friendship between the boy and the dog, and about the dog being comfortable. You might even able to make the appeal directly to the little boy when the dog is barking. I know that my kids responded REALLY well to the idea that they could scare or startle a dog, and so they are hyper vigilant about not running when dogs are on the same sidewalk as them, and approaching dogs only after getting permission from owner AND dog.

Because dogs deserve to have humans treat them well, and they deserve to be comfortable.
And the you can say quietly to the mom, "Actually, I'd be a lot more comfortable if he'd wear underpants at least, too!"

Suze

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Re: Naked children in the yard
« Reply #87 on: August 10, 2010, 05:37:09 PM »
of course there is always the thery that the child went into the back yard WITH clothes ON

just didn't stay that way....
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