Author Topic: I can hear you fighting and I can't sleep  (Read 8676 times)

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bah12

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Re: I can hear you fighting and I can't sleep
« Reply #60 on: August 09, 2010, 10:53:24 AM »
I haven't been woken up by them since I wrote this thread.  Ironic that as soon as I decide on a course of action for the next time, it stops....which is just fine by me.  The next time I wake up because I hear screaming though, I'll call in the noise complaint.

Another development though.  My DH told me that someone is going by the house...he thinks to pick up their daughter for school at about 7 in the morning.  This is after I leave for work, so I'm not there, but DH starts later.  Usually, DD is back asleep by then after her morning feeding.

Anyway, the person that comes to pick up their daughter honks the horn instead of ringing their doorbell...and it's loud.  If the daughter doesn't come out immediately, this person continues to lay on the horn until she does.  DH says that some mornings it's not a problem, but whoever this person is, honks so often that it is disturbing and has woken up DD a few times.  I was working out in the front yard this weekend (late afternoon) and witnessed the same thing. 

We think we need to approach them about the "friend" honking so much so early in the morning in an otherwise very quiet neighborhood...I think we can mention this when we see them outside and not mention that we hear the screaming at night...what do you think?

pierrotlunaire0

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Re: I can hear you fighting and I can't sleep
« Reply #61 on: August 09, 2010, 10:58:16 AM »
I would treat the 2 separately.  The way you phrased it in your last paragraph is perfect.
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Dindrane

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Re: I can hear you fighting and I can't sleep
« Reply #62 on: August 09, 2010, 12:15:39 PM »
I would treat the 2 separately.  The way you phrased it in your last paragraph is perfect.

I agree.  They're not really the same issue, even though it's the same family.  I also think it's a perfectly reasonable request to ask someone to at least not honk more than once so early in the morning.


Lisbeth

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Re: I can hear you fighting and I can't sleep
« Reply #63 on: August 09, 2010, 12:47:12 PM »
I think you should approach them about both issues, since they're interfering with your peace, but make sure that they are treated as separate issues.

If you don't get any assistance from them, or they give you a bad attitude, I'd then file noise complaints.
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WhiteTigerCub

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Re: I can hear you fighting and I can't sleep
« Reply #64 on: August 09, 2010, 01:26:36 PM »
Someone in an abusive situation may actually benefit from having a 'noise complaint' called to the cops. If by chance there is some sort of domestic abuse going on, the police department would very likely be able to tell when they arrive and then can handle the situation as needed. If there is no evidence of domestic violence going on, it is very unlikely anyone would be arrested.

I would NOT ever suggest OP or anyone speak or write a note to a couple regarding 'arguing' they are having. I have been in a situation quite similar and it only resulted in me (the one being abused) getting abused even more because "Look what you caused!!! It is all your fault the cops were called...Had you done as I told you, this never would have happened.!!!"  (misplaced blame)

Personally, I would not want someone who yells and curses loudly to even realize I can hear the nature of their conversation. Do not engage the crazy.

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aventurine

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Re: I can hear you fighting and I can't sleep
« Reply #65 on: August 09, 2010, 01:30:14 PM »
Personally, I would not want someone who yells and curses loudly to even realize I can hear the nature of their conversation. Do not engage the crazy.

I have to say, although I like the idea of approaching a neighbor personally and trying to work things out, I always think ahead and wonder, what if they aren't receptive and I have to call the police?  They'll figure it was me, and then there may be retaliation.

I don't like being so suspicious and paranoid, but that's the world we live in, unfortunately. 




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Danismom

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Re: I can hear you fighting and I can't sleep
« Reply #66 on: August 09, 2010, 10:34:38 PM »
I think one of the reasons it is completely appropriate for the OP to call the police in her situation (unlike others) is that she has taken all appropriate measures to shut out the noise.  She's closed her windows and tried to insulate her home against the noise.  The only other suggestion I can offer to help get more rest is to start sleeping with a white noise machine or music of some kind.  We use that with our children to help them sleep through regular household noise as the music seems to mask some of the other sounds. 

I do think you would be right to file a noise complaint and could probably do so anonymously (which I would recommend if at all possible so that you don't end up on the outs with your neighbor if possible).  The separate issue of the honking ride could easily be addressed in person the next time you run into them.  Actually having a young child is a nice excuse to ask them to curb this inappropriate behavior.  We have neighbors across the street who have a couple of very small but very loud inside dogs.  One of them routinely gets loose and runs all over the 4-6 houses around us yipping up a storm.  I was not happy when it went to yipping like crazy when the kids had just gone to sleep.  Perhaps I should've been more polite but I went outside and firmly asked the neighbors to get their dog under control.  They were so busy chatting that they weren't all that focused on getting to the loose dog.  They asked me if I had a dog loose too.  I told them that no, I just had children asleep that I didn't want awakened and would they get the dog NOW.

GL OP.

BettyDraper

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Re: I can hear you fighting and I can't sleep
« Reply #67 on: August 10, 2010, 08:07:11 AM »
One need not don earmuffs, rev up a white noise machine and seal oneself behind closed windows before having a case about unreasonable noise levels from the neighbors, no matter what the source of the racket is.  If I can't live my ordinary lifestyle without being disturbed, especially before 7 a.m. or after 10 p.m. (the noise ordinance hours in my community) I have a valid complaint.

The responsibility to bring the noise down to non-intrusive levels is that of the noise source.  Would we tell someone with a hearing aid to just shut it off, if she were complaining about a barking dog next door?  Would we tell an elderly person to just close all her windows all summer long if she didn't like hearing the garage band next door at midnight?  Should I invest a couple of hundred dollars in noise-canceling headphones and wear them to bed rather than the people with the screaming child find a way to soothe it? 



ydpubs

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Re: I can hear you fighting and I can't sleep
« Reply #68 on: August 10, 2010, 02:34:42 PM »
I have to agree with Betty. Why should I have to buy noise machines, run up my electric bill with running a noise machine or fan or suffocate from the heat because a neighbor is violating a noise ordinance? I say it is for the persons creating the noise to do what they can to cease and desist than for me to incur all sorts of expenses due to their noise.
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