Author Topic: I can hear you fighting and I can't sleep  (Read 7996 times)

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Sharnita

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Re: I can hear you fighting and I can't sleep
« Reply #30 on: August 05, 2010, 11:21:04 AM »
Squeaks, I agree with your premise that the legal system is established and meant to assure that an innocent person does not get punished for a crime they didn't commit.  I think you are making a huge assumption in suggesting that would be the result of calling the police about a noise complaint when you hear your neighbors arguing. 

bah12

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Re: I can hear you fighting and I can't sleep
« Reply #31 on: August 05, 2010, 11:24:01 AM »
Let's keep in mind that if the OP called the police, it would be a noise complaint, not an accusation of domestic abuse. How long does the screaming generally last? Do the neighbors have their windows open?

Yes, I think that when I hear the noise, thier windows are open.  Closing my own windows helps, but I can still hear her.

It doesn't last too long...at least the part that I can actually hear.  Usually just a couple of minutes that I'm aware of it.  I didn't hear anything last night, but I have been woken up several times a week for the last month or so.  Usually sometime between midnight and 1 am.  I only hear the one voice, but I'm assuming that someone else is also a part of the argument and their voice doesn't carry as much.

It's hard for me to go back to sleep after I've woken up and I'm a light sleeper.  DH woke up once, but usually sleeps through it and as far as I can tell, the baby has never woken up.  This is why I'm hesitant to make a noise complaint.

mandycorn

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Re: I can hear you fighting and I can't sleep
« Reply #32 on: August 05, 2010, 12:12:22 PM »
Can you call the non-emergency number during the day, explain what's going on and and ask their opinion on the situation?  They should be able to tell you if calling while it's happening would be a good idea.
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sweedetobee

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Re: I can hear you fighting and I can't sleep
« Reply #33 on: August 05, 2010, 01:28:06 PM »
Can you call the non-emergency number during the day, explain what's going on and and ask their opinion on the situation?  They should be able to tell you if calling while it's happening would be a good idea.

I like this approach.

bah12

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Re: I can hear you fighting and I can't sleep
« Reply #34 on: August 05, 2010, 01:28:42 PM »
Can you call the non-emergency number during the day, explain what's going on and and ask their opinion on the situation?  They should be able to tell you if calling while it's happening would be a good idea.

I like this approach.

Me too.  Thanks for suggesting it!

War_Doc

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Re: I can hear you fighting and I can't sleep
« Reply #35 on: August 05, 2010, 02:10:06 PM »
Well now, I can't even really figure out the mindset on this one.  Many posters have already left posts for you Squeaks in regard to your two posts.

All I can say is that you probably need to bow out of this topic right now Squeaks because you, unfortunately, have defined a position of basically it doesn't matter how many people get hurt as long as the person that is innocent doesn't.  I'm not sure where you skewed rationale is that just because the authorities are called then all hell breaks loose.

Anyway, other posters have told you what you posted was inappropriate and I'll leave it at that.

I won't be shutting this thread down due to one person making comments like this and I believe a good etiquette discussion can occur regardless.
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joraemi

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Re: I can hear you fighting and I can't sleep
« Reply #36 on: August 05, 2010, 02:42:04 PM »
Let's keep in mind that if the OP called the police, it would be a noise complaint, not an accusation of domestic abuse. How long does the screaming generally last? Do the neighbors have their windows open?

My thoughts exactly. Op isn't calling and saying, HEY - someone's being beaten!  She's calling to say there is so much NOISE coming from from the house next door that it is waking her up and keeping her up at night. What the police find or do once they get there is up to them.




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Amava

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Re: I can hear you fighting and I can't sleep
« Reply #37 on: August 05, 2010, 03:04:38 PM »
I can see both sides of this (of the *noise* issue, I mean - I'm not going to touch the other tangent with a 12ft pole): the side of the neighbour and the side of the OP who is suffering from the noise.

If I'm the neighbour, and I am making more noise than I realise, I would definitely want to be told by the OP myself, rather than having the police at my doorstep.
On the other hand I also understand voices who say "well if you don't want to have the police on your doorstep, keep your noise down already in the middle of the night."

If I'm in the case of the OP but I live in ,my own neighbourhood --> this is important
 I myself would bring it up to the neighbour casually.
BUT I don't think there are super crazies in my neighbourhood who would get upset or retaliate if I did that.
So, since I don't know the OP's neighbourhood, and since she stated that she doesn't know her neighbours very well at all, I can understand if she would rather go through the cops than do it personally.

I am going to tentatively join the people who were behind Mandycorn's suggestion, with the disclaimer that I do always prefer to see people sorting out matters among themselves in a peaceful way without involving cops - but, I see why this could be too dangerous in environments that feel less safe than mine.

ydpubs

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Re: I can hear you fighting and I can't sleep
« Reply #38 on: August 05, 2010, 03:08:55 PM »
Just report a noise violation because regardless of what else may or may not be going on, the level or noise for that time of night is definitley happening. This is not a one time or very rare occurrence. It's happening several times a week. No need to speculate about domestic violence or what have you, let the police go there to check it out and handle it as they see fit.

Don't approach the neighbors yourself because if there is something hinky going on, you could find yourself mired in a whole big mess and make your own living situation very uncomfortable.
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ydpubs

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Re: I can hear you fighting and I can't sleep
« Reply #39 on: August 05, 2010, 03:11:00 PM »
Let's keep in mind that if the OP called the police, it would be a noise complaint, not an accusation of domestic abuse. How long does the screaming generally last? Do the neighbors have their windows open?

My thoughts exactly. Op isn't calling and saying, HEY - someone's being beaten!  She's calling to say there is so much NOISE coming from from the house next door that it is waking her up and keeping her up at night. What the police find or do once they get there is up to them.

Agreed. The OP is doing no finger pointing about what is going on at the neighbor's house so the comment about ruining lives and jailed husband was a  ??? where the heck did that drop out of the sky moment for me in the thread.
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Chinchillazilla

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Re: I can hear you fighting and I can't sleep
« Reply #40 on: August 05, 2010, 06:19:29 PM »
Let's keep in mind that if the OP called the police, it would be a noise complaint, not an accusation of domestic abuse. How long does the screaming generally last? Do the neighbors have their windows open?

My thoughts exactly. Op isn't calling and saying, HEY - someone's being beaten!  She's calling to say there is so much NOISE coming from from the house next door that it is waking her up and keeping her up at night. What the police find or do once they get there is up to them.

Right. I see this as the same as if I call the cops on my neighbors who have been having loud pool parties after midnight. I'm pretty sure they aren't fighting over there, but that doesn't mean I can't call the cops when they wake me up.
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Silversurfer

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Re: I can hear you fighting and I can't sleep
« Reply #41 on: August 05, 2010, 11:29:58 PM »
I vote calling the police and making a noise complaint.

I was once staying with a friend (I was on student residences at uni, but they had not opened up yet, so i spent some time floating around different friends houses) and his housemate and i were using the computers at probably around 3 in the morning. We weren't yelling or anything, i think he was playing a game and i was chatting or something.

There was a knock on the door, and the police were there!! They had a call to come and see if we were ok, because the lights were on late at night. We assured them that we were fine, and they went along their way.

(keep in mind that this was in Australia, i cant comment for other countries!)

Cutenoob

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Re: I can hear you fighting and I can't sleep
« Reply #42 on: August 06, 2010, 05:30:46 AM »
Personally, I don't think it's proper to approach a couple of people who have a history of loud noise.  At least, not when they're making that loud noise.

It is possible to approach them, next time you see them mowing lawn etc. and mention, "hey, Joe? Some nights I can hear you two yelling.  Is everything ok?" and if Joe gets bristly, you could say "Well, sorry you guys aren't getting along all that well, but I'd appreciate it if you could keep it down at night, since we're early risers and work an early shift.  Oh and hey, have you seen the Green Bay Packers this year?" 

So, if you do this, give it at least one more chance.  One more "rawr rawr noise..oh we need to shush....library voice"  is ok.  If it's going "RAWR RAWR BLARGEL YELL HOLLER YOU @#$#$%$#" then call the cops as a noise complaint.

It's the cops job to figure out what's happening, if the noise complaint is actually a DV in progress, or even a robbery in progress....just because it gets dispatched as X does not mean the activity is X.

And you could get earplugs, just sayin'.

Cutenoob

Chinchillazilla

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Re: I can hear you fighting and I can't sleep
« Reply #43 on: August 06, 2010, 05:33:53 AM »
And you could get earplugs, just sayin'.

I haven't yet found the earplugs that actually stay in my ears. They slowly expand until they pop out, hahaha. :P
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Sharnita

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Re: I can hear you fighting and I can't sleep
« Reply #44 on: August 06, 2010, 10:49:30 AM »
And you could get earplugs, just sayin'.

I haven't yet found the earplugs that actually stay in my ears. They slowly expand until they pop out, hahaha. :P

earplugs work for me but if you need to hear an alarm in the morning they aren't real helpful.