Author Topic: I can hear you fighting and I can't sleep  (Read 8286 times)

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Hanna

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Re: I can hear you fighting and I can't sleep
« Reply #45 on: August 07, 2010, 09:39:29 PM »
I would leave a note rather than calling the police or approaching the person.
"Dear Neighbor,
I'm sure you are not aware, but several times each week I am being awakened by loud noises coming from your home between midnight and 1am.  I just wanted to let you know that the sound carries in a way that I would not have expected, because I would hope someone would do the same for me.
Your Neighbor,
Hanna"


NutMeg

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Re: I can hear you fighting and I can't sleep
« Reply #46 on: August 07, 2010, 09:44:22 PM »
And you could get earplugs, just sayin'.

I haven't yet found the earplugs that actually stay in my ears. They slowly expand until they pop out, hahaha. :P

earplugs work for me but if you need to hear an alarm in the morning they aren't real helpful.

Try silicone swimmer's ear plugs. They are awesome, comfortable, block a good deal of noise. I do tend to loose one in the night, but I actually like that because it means I hear my alarm and it takes such a long time to happen that I am deeply asleep before that point.
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Jocelyn

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Re: I can hear you fighting and I can't sleep
« Reply #47 on: August 07, 2010, 10:51:09 PM »
I think there's a huge confusion here between 'domestic abuse' and 'domestic disturbance'. The latter is what the police call ANY noisy altercation taking place at a residence. It could be two teenaged boys jumping on a trampoline at 2 am.
Police are required to arrest, in many states, when they determine that domestic abuse has taken place. The arrest requirement is not for any and all domestic disturbances. The more frequent outcome for a 'domestic disturbance' call is for the officer to convey to the persons making the disturbance that they are disturbing their neighbors and that they need to keep the noise down. If the residents respond respectfully to the officer, there's rarely an arrest. Many times, the distubance is over and done with when the police arrive, and they certainly can't arrest because they got a 911 call that something had happened.

This call would be a 'domestic disturbance' call on behalf of the OP. Only if the police got there and discovered evidence could it become a 'domestic violence' call, necessitating someone's arrest.

noexitwounds

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Re: I can hear you fighting and I can't sleep
« Reply #48 on: August 08, 2010, 11:36:26 AM »
And you could get earplugs, just sayin'.

I haven't yet found the earplugs that actually stay in my ears. They slowly expand until they pop out, hahaha. :P

Try these: http://reviews.walmart.com/1336/10535851/flents-quiet-please-foam-ear-plugs-10-pr-reviews/reviews.htm They block 29 decibels, are latex free, and if you insert them slightly deeper than instructed there's no way in hell they'll fall out. Also, as they get wet they actually shrink slightly (not enough to fall out) so expansion isn't an issue. Wal*Mart is the only place I've found them.
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ShadesOfGrey

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Re: I can hear you fighting and I can't sleep
« Reply #49 on: August 08, 2010, 11:43:59 AM »
I think calling it in as a noise complaint, not a domestic dispute, will solve the problem.
« Last Edit: August 08, 2010, 11:54:04 AM by DigitalPumpkin46 »
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BettyDraper

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Re: I can hear you fighting and I can't sleep
« Reply #50 on: August 08, 2010, 01:49:27 PM »
I sometimes get awakened in the night by a screaming baby when out at our cottage, if it's visiting its grandparents two houses down.  Would I be eHell approved to call the local sheriff to deal with it?  The idea of doing so hadn't occurred to me as a viable solution till reading this thread. 

kckgirl

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Re: I can hear you fighting and I can't sleep
« Reply #51 on: August 08, 2010, 01:58:34 PM »
Betty, a crying baby who can't communicate any other way isn't at all similar to shouting/screaming adults. You know that.
Maryland

BettyDraper

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Re: I can hear you fighting and I can't sleep
« Reply #52 on: August 08, 2010, 02:08:00 PM »
The child is about age two.  If it can't help screaming in the night I would think the grandparents could close their windows, though, to minimize the disturbance to the rest of us.  Or not host it until it can be counted on to be quiet, for the neighbors' sake. 

Point being I have no idea what's going on in there, only that it wakes me up and makes it difficult for me to return to sleep, disrupting my ability to work and relax the next day.  Might be a good idea to have the authorities come round to check it out. 

cass2591

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Re: I can hear you fighting and I can't sleep
« Reply #53 on: August 08, 2010, 02:30:53 PM »
BD, are you trying to be cute, funny, what?

Whatever it is, it's not working and is really annoying. If you don't agree with some people's suggestion about calling the police, simply state why without the snark.

Or not read the thread at all.
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BettyDraper

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Re: I can hear you fighting and I can't sleep
« Reply #54 on: August 08, 2010, 02:46:27 PM »
No, I am 100 percent serious.  This baby is dropped off by its young, unmarried father for days on end -- it cries often, esp in the middle of the night and around dawn -- the grandparents, a 40-ish couple, are long-time night owls who seem to be up all night anyway, but they used to be quiet. Reclusive, in fact, so no one around knows them. Now it's very noisy with the crying child, the adults voices, sometimes the big-screen TV which perhaps they are using to soothe the baby, clanking noises from the kitchen, etc. --

Because of the terrain leading down to the lake the balcony that surrounds three sides of their house is on a level with the room I sleep in -- and no trees etc. are between my windows and the many doorwalls that line their balcony -- so they might as well have a loudspeaker hooked up when the baby cries and fusses all night.  I and the people who live on the other side of them didn't think there was anything we could do but give them the benefit of the doubt and lump it -- but it sounds as though no one would take offense at a noise-disturbance call to law enforcement.  Maybe they could at least get them to keep all those doorwalls shut.  I don't know what else to do; we certainly aren't going to approach them directly given their past antisocial behavior.

ShadesOfGrey

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Re: I can hear you fighting and I can't sleep
« Reply #55 on: August 08, 2010, 10:15:39 PM »
If they arent closing the windows, I would mention that to the local police, as it's one thing they could suggest to the gp's to do to cut down on noise.  I'd close my own as well. 
Words mean more than what is set down on paper. It takes the human voice to infuse them with shades of deeper meaning. - Maya Angelou

I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. - Maya Angelou

BettyDraper

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Re: I can hear you fighting and I can't sleep
« Reply #56 on: August 08, 2010, 10:39:24 PM »
If they arent closing the windows, I would mention that to the local police, as it's one thing they could suggest to the gp's to do to cut down on noise.  I'd close my own as well. 

I can't close my windows, it's an 800 square foot, 70-year-old cottage with no A/C and it's been in the 90s here much of the summer.  They have a more substantial year-round house (I was in it hundreds of times as a child when it was owned by a different family) with A/C if they choose to use it.

ShadesOfGrey

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Re: I can hear you fighting and I can't sleep
« Reply #57 on: August 08, 2010, 11:10:26 PM »
Does it have electricity? A portable AC would be an option, in that case.
Words mean more than what is set down on paper. It takes the human voice to infuse them with shades of deeper meaning. - Maya Angelou

I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. - Maya Angelou

zyrs

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Re: I can hear you fighting and I can't sleep
« Reply #58 on: August 09, 2010, 12:33:53 AM »
I would call it in as a noise complaint, nothing more.  Even if you are sure that it is your female neighbor crying and screaming, the house is 25 feet away and the windows are closed.

Years ago I went to a friend's house and found friend looking depressed and his girlfriend with red, puffy eyes.  Both were still crying.  I was really weirded out until I found out what had happened.  They had been watching "For the Boys" and had just watched the scene of the attack during the Vietnamese war.  Up until that moment I had thought I'd walked in during abuse or something.





BettyDraper

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Re: I can hear you fighting and I can't sleep
« Reply #59 on: August 09, 2010, 12:34:20 AM »
At our place?  Yes, it has electricity but the wiring might be overtaxed by an air conditioner.  It's a small seasonal cottage.  More to the point, I hate A/C and would never use it.  I prefer fresh air and don't drive out to the lake in order to spend time sealed behind closed windows.

As mentioned, we've suffered in silence (so to speak) because I always assumed till reading this thread that calling the police was the nuclear option, but seeing how many people consider making a noise disturbance call such a benign thing, especially if one is losing sleep or relaxation due to neighbor noise, I may have to reconsider.  

The house where the baby visits was rebuilt circa 1970 after a fire destroyed the original; it is a split-level burrowed partly into the ground and the lower level is (beneath the wood siding) cement block; it stays naturally cool in that semi-underground area and there are two bedrooms down there; if the crib were moved to that area no one would hear the baby cry.