Author Topic: Naked children in the yard  (Read 11297 times)

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LadyPekoe

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Naked children in the yard
« on: August 05, 2010, 10:36:51 AM »
My mom told me to post this after I was complaining about it to her :)

My side of the street is all duplexes.  Each half is fenced in with a four foot tall chain-link fence.  You can see into the backyards from the parallel street and from the perpendicular street.  I can see in to every backyard from my backyard, there are no bushes, trees, or landscaping to speak of.

The neighbor child appears to be 3-5 years old.  He runs around naked in the backyard all the time.  It makes me extremely uncomfortable, partially because I don't want to look at him.  He also has taken to grabbing the chain-link fence between our properties and gyrating.  This, too, makes me very uncomfortable, and it enrages the dog so she barks a LOT.  I then have trouble getting her back in the house because I'm trying to grab her without looking at the child.

The parents are usually outside with the kid, so it's not like he just escaped.  There is no pool that he was splashing around in.  Even a pair of underwear would solve this problem for me.

Is there anything I can say to the neighbors? 
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Giggity

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Re: Naked children in the yard
« Reply #1 on: August 05, 2010, 10:39:56 AM »
Nothing I can think of seems adequate or correct, so I'm just posting to see replies.
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DangerMouth

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Re: Naked children in the yard
« Reply #2 on: August 05, 2010, 10:41:52 AM »
the naked wouldn't bother me, the gyrating at the fence and making the dog bark definately would. I'd think you could ask your neighbor to keep him off the fence?

magiccat26

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Re: Naked children in the yard
« Reply #3 on: August 05, 2010, 10:44:53 AM »
My mom told me to post this after I was complaining about it to her :)

My side of the street is all duplexes.  Each half is fenced in with a four foot tall chain-link fence.  You can see into the backyards from the parallel street and from the perpendicular street.  I can see in to every backyard from my backyard, there are no bushes, trees, or landscaping to speak of.

The neighbor child appears to be 3-5 years old.  He runs around naked in the backyard all the time.  It makes me extremely uncomfortable, partially because I don't want to look at him.  He also has taken to grabbing the chain-link fence between our properties and gyrating.  This, too, makes me very uncomfortable, and it enrages the dog so she barks a LOT.  I then have trouble getting her back in the house because I'm trying to grab her without looking at the child.

The parents are usually outside with the kid, so it's not like he just escaped.  There is no pool that he was splashing around in.  Even a pair of underwear would solve this problem for me.

Is there anything I can say to the neighbors? 

You really are between a rock and a hard place.  Because of the bolded, I would be worried that certain "sensitive" parts could be injured (by the dog or the fence)...but I honestly cannot think of a way of wording this without sounding like a) the dog is dangerous b) you're staring at the kid's privates.

 ???  Other eHellions are much better at this than I am.
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mj

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Re: Naked children in the yard
« Reply #4 on: August 05, 2010, 10:49:11 AM »
We have this going on in our neighborhood too.  But the kid is older, 7.  And he screams about his wee wee.

Anyway, I talked to Mom and mentioned that my daughter would like to go outside and play but I'm not comfortable with Jr.  She understood, apparently Grandma was letting Jr outside like that.  Since then he's been in various states of undress, including his superman underwear and girly accessories, but he's covered the important parts!


Shoo

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Re: Naked children in the yard
« Reply #5 on: August 05, 2010, 10:51:49 AM »
There is a huge difference between a 3 year old and a 5 year old.  If he's just 3, it wouldn't really bother me, personally.  Naked is a preferred state of being for a toddler.

A five year old, on the other hand, is well past the baby stage and should not be outside naked.  The next time you are speaking to these particular neighbors, you could mention that you had guests over who saw him naked and it made them very uncomfortable.  And come to think of it, you are not comfortable with it either.  On top of THAT, the boy is aggravating the dog, which is bothering everybody.  If they don't take the proper cues from that, they are hopeless.

Carnation

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Re: Naked children in the yard
« Reply #6 on: August 05, 2010, 11:31:46 AM »
Plant shrubbery.

With thorns. :P

Kaire

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Re: Naked children in the yard
« Reply #7 on: August 05, 2010, 11:37:33 AM »
Perhaps you could mention that ALL eyes can see their child and they might want to have him wear something.

I'm not sure how you do that though without implying you have phedophile neighbors and creating perhaps a different issue?

Sharnita

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Re: Naked children in the yard
« Reply #8 on: August 05, 2010, 11:41:35 AM »
I think you can talk to them about the child grabbing the fence when the dog is out but beyond that, no.

Marleigh

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Re: Naked children in the yard
« Reply #9 on: August 05, 2010, 11:43:25 AM »
I would call childrens services.  Neither a 3 yo or a 5 yo should have enough sexual knowledge to be intentionally gyrating naked in front of a neighbor.  Sexual knowledge that is too advanced for a child's age can be a symptom of abuse.  OP, I think the creepy feeling this gives you could be an intuition.

Harlow

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Re: Naked children in the yard
« Reply #10 on: August 05, 2010, 11:51:54 AM »
I would call childrens services.  Neither a 3 yo or a 5 yo should have enough sexual knowledge to be intentionally gyrating naked in front of a neighbor.  Sexual knowledge that is too advanced for a child's age can be a symptom of abuse.  OP, I think the creepy feeling this gives you could be an intuition.

I think your response is a little OTT.  Also calling child services would be OTT. We have no idea if the child's doing it due to sexual knowledge.  It could be very unintentional, and before making a complain, talk to the parents.

My advice to the OP is to have a nice neighbor to neighbor talk. Just explain about how uncomfortable it's making you. For all we know, he could be grabbing the chain link fence to bother the dog.

Marleigh

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Re: Naked children in the yard
« Reply #11 on: August 05, 2010, 11:59:53 AM »
I apologize that I can't quote Harlow's post because my phone won't let me, but allow me to explain myself a little bit.  A kid running through the yard naked once in awhile is no big deal and fairly common.  The same child doing it all the time, and the parents being totally fine with it, when strangers can obviously see the child, does not sit well with me.  And maybe I read too much into it, but "gyrating" to me does have a not-so-nice connotation.  OP admits this makes her uncomfortable.  I would have enough concern fir the safety of the child to call the proper authorities.

DangerMouth

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Re: Naked children in the yard
« Reply #12 on: August 05, 2010, 12:09:42 PM »
I apologize that I can't quote Harlow's post because my phone won't let me, but allow me to explain myself a little bit.  A kid running through the yard naked once in awhile is no big deal and fairly common.  The same child doing it all the time, and the parents being totally fine with it, when strangers can obviously see the child, does not sit well with me.  And maybe I read too much into it, but "gyrating" to me does have a not-so-nice connotation.  OP admits this makes her uncomfortable.  I would have enough concern fir the safety of the child to call the proper authorities.

While I get what you are saying, considering the average music video these days, I'm not sure that gyrating any longer qualifies as innapropriate 'sexual knowlege'.

But I see no reason she can't say to the parents: "Your child is making me uncomfortable when he acts like that, plus he is upsetting the dog".

And I'd also be considering planting something fast-growing along that side of the fence.

Harlow

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Re: Naked children in the yard
« Reply #13 on: August 05, 2010, 12:21:36 PM »
I apologize that I can't quote Harlow's post because my phone won't let me, but allow me to explain myself a little bit.  A kid running through the yard naked once in awhile is no big deal and fairly common.  The same child doing it all the time, and the parents being totally fine with it, when strangers can obviously see the child, does not sit well with me.  And maybe I read too much into it, but "gyrating" to me does have a not-so-nice connotation.  OP admits this makes her uncomfortable.  I would have enough concern fir the safety of the child to call the proper authorities.

I think your response was OTT because you took it and crossed that line into an abuse claim. I don't see evidence of abuse or any "advance" sexual knowledge. The child's expressing himself inappropriately, and something needs to be done about it. 

Leather Lady

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Re: Naked children in the yard
« Reply #14 on: August 05, 2010, 12:24:05 PM »
A naked toddler running around in his own yard doesn't bother me. Shaking the fence and annoying the dog are the issues I would discuss with the neighbor.  Not the cops, childrens services etc.- just the kid's parents.  

OP: Why are you so bothered by an undressed little kid?  That seems to be more of an issue with you than the fence and the dog.
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
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