Naked children in the yard

[Carnation]

OP: Why are you so bothered by an undressed little kid?  That seems to be more of an issue with you than the fence and the dog.

People have the right to be in their own back yard without having to look at five year old, gyrating naked boys.
There's something "not nice" about it. 


At what age do they tell him to put some pants on, already?

[Lovemykids]

Wanted to agree that the fence shaking and bothering the dog would be a problem, but a toddler running around naked (especially if he's potty training) wouldn't be a big deal to me.  I know people who intentionally wait till summer to potty train boys so they can let them run around naked and get them to the potty more quickly that way.

Also -- my younger DD, who is 3 1/2, likes to stand in front of her baby brother when he's in his bouncer, and clap her hands and shake her bottom.  She calls it the "wiggle dance."  I'm trying to discourage her from it because I think it's inappropriate.  But I mention it because this is a chld who has never watched anything on TV other than Playhouse Disney or Nick Junior (preschool-aged shows) -- hasn't even ever seen a full-length G movie, and CERTAINLY hasn't seen her father or me do anything remotely like this.  So she's getting this from her own sense of rhythm and isn't abused or sexualized.

My kids like to go out on the deck of our townhouse to eat popsicles -- I often let them do so in just their underwear because it's REALLY hot here, and that way they won't get popsicle drips on their clothes . . .

[Harlow]

I would call childrens services.  Neither a 3 yo or a 5 yo should have enough sexual knowledge to be intentionally gyrating naked in front of a neighbor.  Sexual knowledge that is too advanced for a child's age can be a symptom of abuse.  OP, I think the creepy feeling this gives you could be an intuition.

I work with abused children, and with children in general, and this is not true. I actually don't think that this is advanced knowledge for their age, and even if it were, advanced knowledge does not always indicate child abuse. I mimicked a lot of stuff I saw on TV, when I was that age, and I was never abused. I feel this suggestion it quite out of line.

Also, didn't we just have a thread about a poster who was sunbathing nude in their backyard, and everyone said that it was fine and no one else's business? I don't understand how this is any different?

I do agree that the issue with disturbing the dog, and shaking the fence can be addressed.

Yes, that was me and the cops were called on me. Did I get arrested? No. I think with this, the police couldn't do anything unless maybe a stern talk about upsetting the dog/shaking the fence.

[C0mputerGeek]

Also, didn't we just have a thread about a poster who was sunbathing nude in their backyard, and everyone said that it was fine and no one else's business? I don't understand how this is any different?

IIRC, that person was in a backyard with a locked privacy fence. She could not be seen from other homes. The children that saw her naked were trespassing in her backyard. They were not in their own yards.

[Amava]

Also, didn't we just have a thread about a poster who was sunbathing nude in their backyard, and everyone said that it was fine and no one else's business? I don't understand how this is any different?

IIRC, that person was in a backyard with a locked privacy fence. She could not be seen from other homes. The children that saw her naked were trespassing in her backyard. They were not in their own yards.

Yes, that is correct. It was a whole different thing.
The children in this topic are not in a private area. They are visible by others (who are not trespassing in any way).

Also, the poster of that previous topic was not hanging on to the fence & girating. (lol imagine! - or maybe, rather don't imagine )

[Kaire]

OP: Why are you so bothered by an undressed little kid?  That seems to be more of an issue with you than the fence and the dog.

If I was out in the yard and routinely had a naked child in my vision sight, I would be bothered.  I'm not talking potty training escapee, I'm talking buck naked, just playing child.  I would feel awkward because of the effort involved to make sure I'm not looking at the kid.  I wouldn't talk to him, I wouldn't interact with him, and honestly I'd probably go in just because of the situation. It would be my issue I guess, but my issue would be that I don't want to have ANY interaction with a naked child who isn't belonging to friends or family.
 
I have a 2 1/2 year old great nephew and I baby sat him last week and he refused clothes to the point of having a melt down.  It didn't bother me to have him doing that, but I didn't let him out of the house.  If he was wanting to go out, clothes would be a must.  Naked at that age with family only is one thing, naked in public can unfortunately cause a lot of unpleasant situations.

[immadz]

To be honest, if someone told me that a naked three year old hanging on a fence and taunting their dog was sexually inappropriate, I would think it was in the eyes of the viewer. Most three year olds like to be naked, they also wiggle and they also like dogs. I appreciate that you are not comfortable with the view and support your decision to approach the parents. However, there is nothing sexual about this behavior - advanced or not.

[PeasNCues]

To be honest, if someone told me that a naked three year old hanging on a fence and taunting their dog was sexually inappropriate, I would think it was in the eyes of the viewer. Most three year olds like to be naked, they also wiggle and they also like dogs. I appreciate that you are not comfortable with the view and support your decision to approach the parents. However, there is nothing sexual about this behavior - advanced or not.

Oh, I don't think it is conciously s*xual behavior, but it is considered greatly inappropriate behavior.

[Leather Lady]

Potty training a toddler in the back yard during the summer occured to me, too.

To get the problem solved, talk to the neighbors.  You don't need to involve authorities over the problem of "little boy is shaking fence and upsetting dog" without giving them a chance to solve the problem. 

I think it's fine to mention that you're uncomfortable with the lack of clothes, too.  They may ignore you, but at least you let them know how you felt.  It occurred to me that if I were a man, and it was a naked little girl of any age, I'd be uncomfortable, and I wouldn't want to be accused of anything improper.

[LadyPekoe]

OP here--to clarify, I don't think he's being sexual!  It just makes me uncomfortable.

And he's not an escapee--he's playing when he's naked.  Using his toy-lawnmower, playing with his playset, etc.  It is not the norm to be naked outside at any age in my experience.  At least put a diaper or underpants (depending on age) on the kid! 

LL, DH refuses to leave the house when the kid is naked outside.  This is a problem because DH does almost all of the lawnwork. 

[Master_Edward]

Your dog is upset because the kid is naked?? Now I've heard everything, LOL! Too funny.

Ed.

[Twik]

To be honest, if someone told me that a naked three year old hanging on a fence and taunting their dog was sexually inappropriate, I would think it was in the eyes of the viewer.

It well may be, but someone might argue that having a naked sixteen year old running around a backyard in full view of other people was only sexual "in the eyes of the viewer", if the sixteen year old was "just trying to be comfortable". Civilized people have to take the viewer's viewpoint, so to speak, into consideration.

The fact is, that other people's nakedness (at almost any age) puts a certain feeling of constraint on the viewer. If a neighbour constantly looked in the direction of the child, I suspect the parents might start going, "S/he's creepy, s/he keeps staring." So, the viewer then has to try to look in any direction BUT the naked person, which is awkward and unnatural itself. I don't think it's unreasonable for someone to ask to be able to enjoy their own backyards without getting into sexual politics. If the parents want Baby to run unfettered by clothing, they can easily put in a privacy barrier, and the issue goes away.

[Harlow]

OP here--to clarify, I don't think he's being sexual!  It just makes me uncomfortable.

And he's not an escapee--he's playing when he's naked.  Using his toy-lawnmower, playing with his playset, etc.  It is not the norm to be naked outside at any age in my experience.  At least put a diaper or underpants (depending on age) on the kid! 

LL, DH refuses to leave the house when the kid is naked outside.  This is a problem because DH does almost all of the lawnwork. 

No one assumes your thinking it's sexual. Another poster brought up the point so it has been discussed.

[LadyClaire]

Your dog is upset because the kid is naked?? Now I've heard everything, LOL! Too funny.

Ed.

You'd be surprised by how weird dogs can get about things like that.

One of my mom's dogs absolutely hates it when DF wears a beanie. He will bark, growl, and go nuts until DF removes the beanie. Another dog she used to have freaked out when I came over wearing a dress one day. I'd always worn jeans or shorts, so I guess the unfamiliar clothing startled it.

So I can see a dog being upset by something being "different" about a person like being naked.

[Onyx_TKD]

A naked toddler running around in his own yard doesn't bother me. Shaking the fence and annoying the dog are the issues I would discuss with the neighbor.  Not the cops, childrens services etc.- just the kid's parents.  

OP: Why are you so bothered by an undressed little kid?  That seems to be more of an issue with you than the fence and the dog.

I have seen many people on this board and others say that they are uncomfortable with interacting with other people's children even in public (and with everyone clothed), because they are afraid of being accused of being child predators. If our society is so quick to assume those motivations, which can seriously ruin the life of an innocent accusee, then I can't blame people for being cautious. The parents presumably think neighbors seeing their naked child is ok, but what about the other neighbors? What if there's a nut two doors down who will accuse the OP of pedophilia for looking at a naked little boy, even if he's displaying himself on her fence?

Regardless of possible accusations, in most of USA society it is considered inappropriate to be displaying or looking at people's privates in public. Some parts of society may make an exception for naked small children, but others do not.

IMO, the OP's discomfort with seeing a stranger's private parts is a completely understandable product of our society. It's not an "issue with [the OP]"; it's an issue with society. Whether those societal norms are "right" or "wrong" has nothing to do with the OP.

On Topic: I think it would be worth talking to the parents about him bothering the dog and the nakedness making you uncomfortable, assuming that the neighbors seem to be reasonable people in general.

I also like the idea of trying to add some sort of privacy feature to the fence. If planting something along the fence is out of the question, then the privacy slats or some opaque panels to place on the inside of the fence might work. Some potted plants (e.g. bushes or vines on a trellis) might also work; they could be placed along the fence without being a permanent addition. If the barrier goes up and he is still managing to provoke the dog, then you can talk to the parents on that basis.