Beyond Uncomfortable

[Twik]

There could be a lot of reasons, but I suspect that StepMom is thinking "The kids look like they're getting serious, but it would really interfere with Stepson's plans if he tried to stay here right now. Maybe I can gently redirect them, so that the problem doesn't come up."

[Hanna]

i completely understand, my BFs dad has tried to set him up with other girls in the past (and this was when we WERE exclusively d@ting).  and ive had other friends in exclusive, long term rel@tionships where their parents tried to set them up with other people.

in this case it seems more innocuous but still kind of weird.

So this would be more like if your BFs Dad tried to set *you* up with someone.
Totally weird.

[Hanna]

I would think it was pretty uncomfortable even if I'd never spent time with him, honestly.
I've only ever met her twice. At this point he's my main connection to her! 
I mean, what's to make her think she should be setting me up with anyone given that I barely know her?

Again, not malicious, just really really weird.

She's only met you a couple of times and she wants to set you up? Yep, that's a little weird.

Taking her stepson out of the equation, could she be looking for a friendship with you and thinks that setting you up will make you closer/better friends?

I don't know... I think she's probably just a bit of a mother hen, busy body,  matchmaker.
I'm 37 and she's 60ish. Perhaps one of those that thinks so single woman my age could be happy, so the situation must get fixed.

[Granny Takes a Trip]

I can see why you're bothered. It feels a bit like disapproval or a dig, like 'my stepson isn't an appropriate partner for you, so what about this guy? he's more your style!'

I'd say just tell her you're not interested, though. But yeah..awkward!

POD. Her behaviour really seems kind of PA. Sort of 'I'm intefering for your own good'. Not fun at all. Enjoy your relationship with the young man, and ignore her. Sometimes people of older generations can have really sexist ideas.

[Hanna]

I can see why you're bothered. It feels a bit like disapproval or a dig, like 'my stepson isn't an appropriate partner for you, so what about this guy? he's more your style!'

I'd say just tell her you're not interested, though. But yeah..awkward!

POD. Her behaviour really seems kind of PA. Sort of 'I'm intefering for your own good'. Not fun at all. Enjoy your rel@tionship with the young man, and ignore her.

I think you hit the nail on the head.

[Delia DeLyons]

I had a similar thing happen to me - BF is 20 yrs older than me and we started as an office romance.  Prior to our "coming out" as a couple, he was the only male in the office besides our boss and all the women fawned over him.  Which was the main reason for our trying to keep quiet about dating... I sensed there would be drama if we "took that away from them"... well, it inevitably came out and one woman in the office (married, by the way) who is closer to BF's age initially "supported" us... but after a couple weeks she came to me and said, "Scarlet, I heard that a young man over in such-and-such office thinks you're cute... I could set you up if you wanted..."  I was speechless at first... and very offended.  Mainly because it seemed that she really didn't think BF and I were for real...

I simply replied to her "No, thank you... I don't think BF would appreciate that."   


She was always meddling... until finally both me and BF got jobs in other offices (not because of her, we got promotions  )

Having experienced it myself, I don't doubt at all that Stepmom doesn't approve of your relationship and is trying to show that.. Call my a cynic... but that's just my little ol' opinion.

[Chivewarrior]

I had a similar thing happen to me - BF is 20 yrs older than me and we started as an office romance.  Prior to our "coming out" as a couple, he was the only male in the office besides our boss and all the women fawned over him.

I must admit, I don't understand the fawning thing. Are there no other places to find men? What is it that is so fascinating about the only male in the place that they are angry he's involved? (This happened when I was at Girl Scout Camp and there was one cute young male counselor, one of three males in the entire camp and the only cute young unmarried one. All the counselors and the older campers fawned on him too. I didn't understand it then either.)

[Delia DeLyons]

I had a similar thing happen to me - BF is 20 yrs older than me and we started as an office romance.  Prior to our "coming out" as a couple, he was the only male in the office besides our boss and all the women fawned over him.

I must admit, I don't understand the fawning thing. Are there no other places to find men? What is it that is so fascinating about the only male in the place that they are angry he's involved? (This happened when I was at Girl Scout Camp and there was one cute young male counselor, one of three males in the entire camp and the only cute young unmarried one. All the counselors and the older campers fawned on him too. I didn't understand it then either.)

While I sure don't know the "why", I have to admit... I wasn't totally innocent of the crime myself.. I remember the first time bossman brought future BF over to introduce him to the staff (prior to his actually starting with us)  I turned to another co-worker and whispered "Gee, I'm gonna start putting my make up on BEFORE I get to work!"   But I didn't obviously dote on him like the older ladies did... mine was more a secret I kept to myself... until that is, it became apparent he totally dug me, too     My theory would be that *some* women don't feel their worth unless the men around them give them attention.. and so they GET attention by GIVING attention?  I dunno... I haven't really seen it again since, but my new office is more equal in the male to female ratio.