General Etiquette > Family and Children

Thank you - again?

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I am in need of some etiquette advice.  My husband and I were married just over 3 years ago.  His former step-father and his new wife came to our wedding since they are still on very good terms with the family.

The step-father gave us some awesome gift certificates to a local electronics big box store.  It came in very handy as our camera was stolen during the wedding and we wanted a new one for the honeymoon, but that's a story in itself.  We sent out thank you notes about 3 weeks after the wedding and included a personal message to the former-step-father about how his particular gift helped us out by allowing us to take pictures on our honeymoon.  We saw the couple later that summer at a BBQ and thanked them again in person. 

About 6 months after the wedding the husband and I moved to Asia and just came back. We have found out through family members that the former-step-father and his wife are furious at us because "We didn't thank them enough" for the gift and that we have treated them badly.  Please keep in mind that - we sent a thank you card and thanked them in person the ONLY time we have seen them since the wedding.  This couple apparently has been bad mouthing us in our absence for everyone to hear.

My question is this.  I have a family BBQ to go to this weekend.  It is an informal welcome back to the country gathering and the first time we have seen most of the family in the three years we have been gone.  The former-father-in-law will be there with his wife.  Should I say something? Thank them again?  I take etiquette very seriously and don't think I have done anything wrong. 

What should I do?

"Hey SFIL, I just want to let you know like we said in our thank you note and at that BBQ the other summer that the camera we got from your wedding gift certificate has just been the greatest thing to have with us!  I can't wait to show you all the pictures we took."

What were you supposed to do?  Have they said what more they wanted?  I wouldn't formally thank them again, because it feeds the nonsense they are spewing.

Did they expect rose petals and thrones and you to personally feed them grapes whilst kissing their feet? What kind of thanks did they want? You have already thanked them twice. Thats more than enough.

Outdoor Girl:
I wouldn't say a thing.  And if they are so crass as to say you didn't thank them properly, I'd act confused.  'I don't understand.  We thanked you in person at the BBQ and sent a TYN promptly.  I'm not sure what else we should have done.


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