General Etiquette > Family and Children

christmas help!

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goldilocks:
when my child was born (she's now 18), I decided to not do Santa Claus.  I never told her there was one, and she never believed.  Somehow we managed through the early years without her telling other children.

Now, this isn't a religious thing, it was just my decision and I have a number of reasons for it.

For some reason, when people hear this, they feel free to say things like 'How horrible!", and other comments.  Now, I wouldn't dream of criticizing someone for doing Santa, so why are they free to critize me for not doing it?

The most recent problem with this is my son-in-law (married to my stepdaughter).  They have chosen to do Santa, and I would not dream of spoiling it for their kids.  But he feels free to point out his criticism of my choice, and he's driving me crazy.    He's a bit of a know-it-all anyway.

Any suggestions?

Squeaks:
Blow them off.

My mother was the same way,  I am no worse off for it. You would be amazed at how many people do not believe me when i say I never believed. They always say "of course you did you were just too little to remember" no my mother never said there  was  Santa so no i never believed.

She said she wanted to raise me to be grateful to (and thank) the actual giver rather than a fictitious thing. 

Can you be more specific about why they feel it is horrible or what they say, it might help to direct responses.  I would focus on what good you did, the traditions you created/did, focus on your daughter not having been deprived.

For SSIL  I would confront him on it when the child is not in the room.  Say you feel you gave your child 18 wonderful childhood Christmas's and do not appreciate him implying otherwise. 

MovieLover:
"Thanks for your concern but I'm all set on this issue and I really do not need any input or comments regarding my personal choices."  It's not rude to tell bores to back off and that you have no interest in hearing their comments when they have not been asked for.  It's not rude to stick up for yourself and the choices you've made.

People that make such strong remarks like "How horrible" deserve what they get.  If they persist in being bores they run the risk of being made to own their words and getting shut down.  Maybe eventually they will catch on that they only make themselves sound gauche and ignorant to others when they make such comments.

wheeitsme:
I'd probably tell him (very firmly) something to the effect of:

"I expect you to respect my parenting choices in the same spirit that I respect yours.  I would appreciate it if you didn't bring this up again."

Lexophile:
"I understand that you disagree with my personal decision to not practice this tradition. Now, can we please move on to another topic?"

What does he expect you to do, unmake the past?

Or, if you don't want to dignify his harrassment with a reply:

"I see. Bean dip?"

This would get on my nerves too.

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