Author Topic: Day care, Am i over-reacting? Update post 60  (Read 5958 times)

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ncgal

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Day care, Am i over-reacting? Update post 60
« on: August 09, 2010, 09:07:29 PM »
I just switched my child to a new day care in June.  I had no problems with the prior day care, but I was to start paying for the child care and I just could not afford their rates, so needed to change.  

New care, well, it is not the same and I knew it would not be.  It has been an adjustment for both me and my daughter.  But on two matters, i just don't know if I am over reacting or not.  I don't think I am, but ready to hear it if I am.  

One matter: snake brought into school.  I understand that schools/daycare have animals brought in and I have no problem with that.  I expected that a snake might be brought in.  What I did not expect would that the school would leave it up to the 3 and 4 yrs old to decide if they wanted a python around their neck.  I thought my daughter was getting the story wrong when she told me, but then a few days later I saw the pictures with the python around these toddlers necks.  yes, they had left it up to the children to decide, this directly from the director.  

i am wrong thinking that the snakes should not have been around their necks.  I understand offering to let the children touch snakes and hold some snakes, but pythons around their necks?

Second matter and this one combined with the above, has me about ready to move her back to old preschool part time and two days a week with my mom for a few months, until I can afford full time their again close to December.  

I picked her up today and they were playing in the gym.  I could not see an adult in their for a few minutes, I then saw her when she made a point to have me see her by waving her arm in the air.  She was behind the large quad stroller.  Ok, little weird, how can you see the children playing with that blocking your view?

When we got in the car, my daughter told me that they were not allowed to go up to the teacher because she was holding a sleeping baby.  Ok, you are watching a gym with about 6-7 three/four year old, but they are not allowed to go up to the only teacher in the gym because she is holding a sleeping infant?  why was the infant not in the infant room sleeping?  The teacher that was in charge in the gym, she is the assistant director.   Who are the children suppose to go to if they cannot go to the only teacher in the gym with them?

I am going to talk to the director in the morning (hopefully she will be in at drop off time), but again, am I over reacting?  Her direct care teacher for most of the day, I have no problem with, but she leaves shortly around nap time, by 3 or so I believe.  

so give it to me straight, I am over reacting?  I don't want to be rude to them and tell them I am upset over this if I should not be.  Well, don't want to be rude anyway and want to talk to the director in a very nice manner.  Maybe I should drink lots of coke in the morning.  
« Last Edit: August 23, 2010, 01:22:29 PM by ncgal »

Wavicle

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Re: Day care, Am i over-reacting?
« Reply #1 on: August 09, 2010, 09:18:39 PM »
The snake you may be overreacting on. What kind of snake was it actually? If it was a burmese python then I would probably be upset. I doubt anyone would put a dangerous snake around a child's neck though. Unless the person bringing the snake was an idiot they would not want to risk hurting a child or their snake because most snake owners and especially people into education have to work hard to dispel assumptions about snakes being vicious creatures. They would not mess that up by putting a kid in harms way. Of course, they could have found an idiot. You could try calling the snake owner up directly and asking how they pick their animals for interactions and what precautions they take. They will probably be more than happy to dispel your fears, and if they aren't then you can complain to them for bringing in a hack.

The lack of supervision would be upsetting to me though. I would not tell a kid not to talk to me for X because I wouldn't trust a young child to not take it literally and I would want them to know that I just mean don't come screaming with a toy in the babies face and not don't come to me if you get shoved.


kennedar

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Re: Day care, Am i over-reacting?
« Reply #2 on: August 09, 2010, 09:19:53 PM »
I would be upset about my 3 year old having a python around their neck! I think if I was there to supervise, I would be ok with it, but not in that situation. I think by the time they are in elementary school I would be ok with it, but at the age of 3 is way to young!

MsMarjorie

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Re: Day care, Am i over-reacting?
« Reply #3 on: August 09, 2010, 09:21:04 PM »
I'm not sure about the snake thing - I like the idea of letting the children decide if they wanted it on them or not and I'm sure a handler was there to control it.  So I'd give that one a pass.  The supervisor in the gym I would not be happy about, if someone had got hurt how was she supposed to handle it whilst holding a baby?  In fact I'm surprised she could get away with telling the kids not to come near her!  It sounds like they didn't have enough staff, what are the staffing levels like in general?

Its hard switching from something that you liked to something else because it will automatically seem "lesser" to you (even if its not).  

If it's just these two instances then I'd continue and be watchful but if it's these two instances and a bad gut feeling I'd move my child.

SiotehCat

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Re: Day care, Am i over-reacting?
« Reply #4 on: August 09, 2010, 09:24:08 PM »
In my opinion, I think you are overreacting.

I am sure the snake that they used was perfectly safe. I do not think they would bring a dangerous snake to a day care.

MrsJWine

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Re: Day care, Am i over-reacting?
« Reply #5 on: August 09, 2010, 09:26:39 PM »
Was there someone right there supervising the snake handling?  That would make a difference to me.  If the snake handler were right there, I understand your alarm, but I don't think it's a huge deal.

The last instance might just be a matter of miscommunication.  Kids can take things so literally.  Did you ask the lady about it?  Maybe she had just settled a colicky baby and was about to hand her off to someone, but had to wait for that someone to come in (who perhaps had to run to the restroom quickly or something).  Or maybe she wasn't the only person in the gym supervising the kids.  I can think of a number of scenarios in which a kid might misinterpret, "Oh, not right now!  The baby's asleep."

As for the second, I'm having trouble picturing it.  You couldn't see her because she was somewhat hidden behind a large stroller, but evidently she could see something, or she wouldn't have seen you and waved her hand at you.  So maybe she could see more than you think she could.


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kareng57

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Re: Day care, Am i over-reacting?
« Reply #6 on: August 09, 2010, 09:30:51 PM »
While I myself am terrified of snakes - I think it's possible that you could be overreacting here.  As PPs have said, it's very likely that the handler is very experienced at situations like this and certainly isn't going to bring tempermental snake to a daycare presentation.

Regarding the possible lack of supervision in the gym - it's good that you're going to the director for clarification.  My bet is that it could be a simple misunderstanding - and yes, they might need to make things clearer when kids are this young.

Harlow

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Re: Day care, Am i over-reacting?
« Reply #7 on: August 09, 2010, 09:35:34 PM »
I think you are overreacting, but I'd still talk to the director .

ncgal

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Re: Day care, Am i over-reacting?
« Reply #8 on: August 09, 2010, 09:39:46 PM »

Its hard switching from something that you liked to something else because it will automatically seem "lesser" to you (even if its not).  

If it's just these two instances then I'd continue and be watchful but if it's these two instances and a bad gut feeling I'd move my child.

The bolded part if what I am really worried about.  I don't want to be jumping the gun because of the big difference between the two and there are so many difference.  I miss the old place and will have her back there for track out times when she starts kindergarden next July no matter what.  But I don't want to jump the gun per se and move her again if I should not at this point.    

I have had concerns since the python day and today, I just want to go to bed, cry and get the director of her former day care on the line tonight to get her back in their school. Instead, i have just given my little one extra hugs, kisses and I love you's! Then dragged out the calculator to see what we could swing getting her back in there.  

There was a snake handler.  But this was 2, 3 and 4 years old.  None older then 4. 

At the school today, there was one other other teacher that I saw.  She is the teacher that my little one is normally with in the afternoon.   She was cleaning up the classroom and told me where they were.  She did walk into the gym while I was in there picking my daughter up, but walked in and out just in the amount of time my daughter was running to me.     They tend to bring as many of the children together in the afternoon as they can get away with, leaving only two people in the day care center and normally only one is watching the children as the other is cleaning up.  I have never seen them with little babies before, had only seen them with toddlers when they have all been together.    She made a point to show herself when my daughter screamed out "Mommy".  Until then, I was starting to wonder if all the kids were in the gym alone.    She raised her hand and leaned around the quad stroller. 

I will be talking to the director about what was said and how whatever was said was understood by my daughter to mean that she was not to go to the teacher for anything. 


Thanks for all the feed back.  I am starting to feel better about how I "feel" regarding these issues.    I will talk with her dad and hold off maybe until next week before contacting her previous day care, if not longer. 

RainhaDoTexugo

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Re: Day care, Am i over-reacting?
« Reply #9 on: August 09, 2010, 09:40:28 PM »
I'm with the others on the snake, it depends what kind of python, and who brought it in.  A ball python, or a smaller jungle carpet python, fine, but a burmese would make me uncomfortable, without knowing what kind of safety precautions were taken.  I do know several people who do educational reptile shows on a regular basis, with everything from geckos and cornsnakes to crocodiles and burmese pythons.  The ones I know, I would absolutely trust to decide if a snake was safe around my hypothetical kid's neck, but I don't know that I'd be so comfortable with some dude I'd never met making that decision.  There is a middle ground, where I would trust an active and respected member of, say, the local herpetological society, without having to meet her myself.  I think any animal in a daycare/school setting should only be brought in after parents are informed, you never know when someone is going to be allergic or phobic.

The second case is a little more serious.  Unless it was a misunderstanding (and you should try to find out if it was, in a calm and polite way), that's definitely a problem.  The teachers are being paid to supervise the kids, and they need to be available to the kids.

Animala

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Re: Day care, Am i over-reacting?
« Reply #10 on: August 09, 2010, 09:41:05 PM »
To me the snake thing is iffy.  It could really go either way depending on the circumstances.  The second thing- I would ask about their rules for supervision in the gym and having mixed age groups.  In the places I have worked there have been very strict no sitting rules for teachers when outside and in gyms.  The mixed ages thing is a ratio of children per teacher and having a baby in the room could have messed that up.

In the end you are the parent and you need to be confident in the care your daughter is receiving.

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Re: Day care, Am i over-reacting?
« Reply #11 on: August 09, 2010, 09:41:35 PM »
The snake situation is an over reaction. The judgement of having the snake around them is not a safety call by the child, handlers are right there and the snakes used are very docile. It is simply letting a child decide if they want the experience. I would let this one go.

The second one, get more infomation. Your child may simply be misunderstanding what the teacher said.

It appears from your post that you are going into the situation expecting issues and things not being as good at they were at your old day care. If this is your expectation then likely you will find problems.

ipsedixit

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Re: Day care, Am i over-reacting?
« Reply #12 on: August 09, 2010, 09:41:47 PM »
I don't see an etiquette issue....and I think you're overreacting a bit.

momto3daughters

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Re: Day care, Am i over-reacting?
« Reply #13 on: August 09, 2010, 09:42:10 PM »
As a preschool teacher, a mom to three and a lady who loves animals I feel you are over reacting on the snake. I have had my children have huge phythons (sp) around their neck and it was always with the owner who KNEW the snake and it was safe. I'd let the snake go.

The teacher SHOULD ALWAYS be avaliable to EVERY child in the room. If you have one child sleeping especially an infant it should be in the infant room NOT the gym.
Talk to the director about the supervision issue but leave the snake issue go.

Saw your updated post... She was not out of ratio if she had 6 to 7  2 1/2 year old and up and one baby.. Most centers will combine at near closing time or you have staff not needed standing around and nothing getting cleaned till AFTer the staff is suppose to be off shift and makes it really hard and long days (beent here done that) She could techinically have 8 with one infant as long as there was only one infant and the rest were 2 1/2 years old and up.. She STILL should not be sitting where she could not see the door and the people commingand going and the children. I know some people say NO SITTING as a teacher but me try standing all day for 9 hours doesnt work lol. I always sit but WITH the children to play and interact. I say if I am not on the floor playing with the kids and as dirty as they leave from painting, using clay, markers of the such then im not teaching right.
« Last Edit: August 09, 2010, 09:48:17 PM by momto3daughters »

Kimblee

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Re: Day care, Am i over-reacting?
« Reply #14 on: August 09, 2010, 09:42:50 PM »
I'm not sure about the snake thing - I like the idea of letting the children decide if they wanted it on them or not and I'm sure a handler was there to control it.  So I'd give that one a pass.  The supervisor in the gym I would not be happy about, if someone had got hurt how was she supposed to handle it whilst holding a baby?  In fact I'm surprised she could get away with telling the kids not to come near her!  It sounds like they didn't have enough staff, what are the staffing levels like in general?

Its hard switching from something that you liked to something else because it will automatically seem "lesser" to you (even if its not).  

If it's just these two instances then I'd continue and be watchful but if it's these two instances and a bad gut feeling I'd move my child.

The snake thing might be an over reaction, I agree. My dad has a python that would be the perfect "First snake" for someone to hold, calm, laid back and would just hang around someone's neck for ever if you'd let her.

But if you really feel something is wrong, you might want to investiagte more. Mommy feelings can be very telling.