S/O telling children about Santa

[Lauren7891]

I was in 6th grade when I finally took my mom aside and told her "Look, I know Santa's not real, but I won't say anything to younger brother or sister"... She was more disappointed than I was.  I think we still get presents addressed from Santa though, and we're 23, 20, and 17 now.

[Lady Snowdon]

When I was about 12 or so, Santa's presents transitioned to being surprise gifts for me (only child) to being presents for the whole family (big blankets for the couch, games, I think our first Nintendo system might have been from Santa).  We still get Santa presents (and I'm 29!), but I think it's more just that my mom really likes to shop.   

I plan to do Santa with my kid(s), because it was so fun growing up to have that anticipation and excitement.  I don't plan to make a big deal out of it, or to encourage belief once it starts to fade though; the one part of the whole Santa thing that I didn't like was knowing how much my mom liked that I believed in Santa, and having to continue to pretend to believe until I was 10 or 11. 

[Aggiesque]

Yup. My parents always told us that if we don't believe in him, he stops visiting.

Turns out, he will also stop if you get married . Although he does still visit if you are only engaged!


Also, we were always aware of the legend of St. Nicholas (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Nicholas) and how that related to Santa etc... part of our religious beliefs... so that helped, too. (rhetorical) Do you think introducing something like that could help?

[Lovemykids]

My MIL likes to tell the story of when my SIL came to her, having been told by a classmate that there was no Santa.  SIL asked if it were true, and MIL asked if she would be terribly sad if it were.  SIL asked that MIL just tell her the truth, so MIL did.  SIL then said, "I'm so glad you told me, mom.  Otherwise, when I grew up, my kids would never have any presents at Christmas!"

[kingsrings]

My brother took me aside and told me when I was 8. I was crushed at first, but then figured it was my duty to tell all my friends who were still believers, child killjoy that I was. My friend Tiffany refused to believe me that Santa didn’t really exist, so being totally frustrated that she would believe in something that wasn’t real, I gave her such a hard time about it that she was eventually in tears.

[Sharnita]

I always told my kids that when they stop believing, Santa stops coming.   The oldest two are 17 and 16.  There's never been a problem.

This has been our policy too.  Mine are 18 and (almost)16 and claim to still believe.   

My 28 year old sister still believes. 

I, my siblings, my cousins and the vast majority of my friends were all raised with Santa and I don't know naybody who feels they were lied to or decived.  I'm sure there are people who feel that way but in my circle there isn't anyone who regrets/resents Santa's involvement in their childhood.  My BIL was raised without it for religious reasons and I think he feels like he missed a lot.

[Slartibartfast]

My part of the country actually celebrated Saint Nick's Day on December 6th, separate from Christmas.  Kids who were new to town and whose parents didn't know about this tradition often had a tough time in school the next day when "Saint Nick" came to give presents to all their classmates and skipped them    My mom always made a point of telling newcomers about this regional tradition - Saint Nick only ever brought me and my siblings one small thing each year (a candy bar, or a little plastic toy), but classmates often got actual honest-to-goodness Christmas presents.  It was odd, to say the least!

[gramma dishes]

. . .   Kids who were new to town and whose parents didn't know about this tradition often had a tough time in school the next day when "Saint Nick" came to give presents to all their classmates and skipped them    

Oh!  This is so sad!  It seems odd that the teacher didn't have at least one tiny emergency item (wrapped) on hand to avoid the one poor child being 'forgotten' by St. Nick!

[GoldenGemini]

We didn't really get raised with the whole Santa thing, sort of due to religious reasons and sort of due to the fact that I investigated everything all.the.time, and at three already had read about the story and de-bunked it.  We knew the story of St Nicholas, and Sinterklass and Black Pete.  There was always a present under the tree from Father Christmas, as the "spirit of Christmas" and sometimes there still is, even though we are all grown up now!

I don't actually know how my brother handles this (his kids are 10 and 3), but we always write on the tag From GG and MG, so there isn't really a shock coming, I don't think.  Same with my sister (her kids are 11, 9 and 6 and one more on the way), but we have to send the presents up to her, so I don't know if she arranges anything.

[Shea]

I figured out that there was no Santa when I was about seven. However, I pretended to still believe for several years after that because I felt my mother would be sad if I told her I knew it was really her and Dad stuffing my stocking. I've never known anyone who felt betrayed or lied to when they found out, though no doubt there are kids out there who do feel that way. I just think it may be less common than many parents of young children fear. Most kids stop believing when they're ready.

[Kaire]

My sister-in-law did it all in one big swoop, telling me when I was about 7 1/2 or so that Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the tooth fairy were not real.  I promptly told my niece, thinking I was letting her know about the great conspiracy.  They made me tell her I lied.

My mom's comment after was "good, now I don't have to do any more stupid stockings" and I never had one again.

[Thipu1]

I don't have a real problem with kids believing or not believing in Santa.  Santa isn't necessarily a big guy with a beard.  Santas are people with good hearts. 

When I figured out that the Santa I knew and loved wasn't a real person, my parents gave me the alternative and it was a good one.

Because I knew the truth about Santa it was my job to become Santa in a way.  I was not going to disabuse little children of their belief but I wasn't going to push Santa either. 

Young Santas would put together small bags of cookies and candies for younger children to be distributed at holiday church parties.  The teens would work on getting Christmas presents for needy families in the parish. 

In all these projects Santa was never mentioned but implied.  That was good enough for me.         

[Kendo_Bunny]

I was raised without Santa and will probably raise my children the same way. Nothing against it as an idea of the spirit of generosity and giving, but as an actual physical entity... I don't really like the idea. My own personal take, definitely not suggesting that anyone else is wrong. There's plenty of magic to Christmas if the parents try to make it magical. Instead of Santa Claus, our parents raised us with the Christ Child, though a little different than the old German tradition. He didn't bring presents, but we did go to the horse farm next door and get hay to put in a manger, to help keep Him warm.

I only knew one kid who was crushed about Santa Claus. His father took him aside and told him when he was 13 years old, because he was afraid the other kids in 8th grade would tease him if they found out. Apparently he was shocked and horrified and went into a bit of a depression spiral. His other siblings had all figured it out, including the ones much younger than him. Then again, this boy was not exactly the brightest I've ever met, and never examined anything closely at all.