General Etiquette > Techno-quette

Funeral Facebook "event"

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ettiquit:
The wife of one of my co-workers recently passed away after a very brief battle with cancer.  It's a pretty tragic situation overall, and while I never met my co-worker's wife, I've been pretty effected by this.

I became aware that the widow created an event in FB to pass along the details of the funeral.  I found this to be very odd.  Particularly, the people who bothered to decline the invitation - with something like this, why bother say you can't attend?

I'm not actually judging my co-worker about this, but wondering if this is something that might become the "norm".  I imagine this was the easiest way for him to get the info out there, but it also seemed a little..crude. 

Thoughts?

Sarah Silivren:
I never really thought of it as a crude thing. About 3 or so years ago,  a friend of my fiance died suddenly and because the majority of those who knew him we were high school students at the time, Facebook was the fastest and easiest way to get the information about the service out to everyone in time.

I guess looking back at it I never thought anything of it, other than his friends wanting to rally together in the midst of sadness. Sometimes I think of Facebook (in terms of public events) as a newspaper and that's how we relay information to each other and sometimes obituaries post where services and viewings are held.

The whole declining to attend thing, however, does put me off.

Surianne:
I don't have a problem with this.  It's a quick way to get the info out to people who would like to know.

I also don't understand what's wrong with declining to attend.  That seems like the polite thing to me -- to reply saying "Sorry I can't make it, I will keep you in my thoughts" or something similar.  I would feel wrong if I didn't reply in some way to say I couldn't make it.

Sarah Silivren:

--- Quote --- also don't understand what's wrong with declining to attend.  That seems like the polite thing to me -- to reply saying "Sorry I can't make it, I will keep you in my thoughts" or something similar.  I would feel wrong if I didn't reply in some way to say I couldn't make it.
--- End quote ---

True. I mean when you simply decline and leave no response. If you leave a message, I think that is okay, but to just decline with no note doesn't feel right to me.

DangerMouth:
Resistance is futile?

My thoughts are that 'social networking' will change our lives in some profound ways. Things that would have seemed outre when I was kid are now routinely accepted, and I have a feeling we've only scratched the surface of it. Bemoaning an outdated gentility is the privelege of the old* and the new won't be paying much attention.

Not that I believe manners will be lost, only they might not be recognizable. Look at the cataclysmic changes that happened to our world between, say 1890 and 1920. We went from writing letters to sending telegrapjs to making telephone calls, and from horse and carriage to cars. Each new technology brought new manners and mores.

No doubt some of our great grandmothers thought using the telephone to convey important news was a bit 'crude', but eventually we got over it.

*old.. I say this as a 50 yo who didn't touch my first computer till I was 25. I only got a FB page a month ago, and that was mainly to look someone up. There are kids about to graduate high school that have never known a world without the internet. Sobering thought.

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