Author Topic: How to handle kids at the pool  (Read 2688 times)

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Aggiesque

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Re: How to handle kids at the pool
« Reply #15 on: August 11, 2010, 04:28:17 PM »
A lot of little girls like to "take care" to babies- which usually seems to be to about 3-4 yrs old.

If you didn't like how she was acting, just bluntly tell her. "I am playing with DD. You need to go play with your mother." or "We cannot play with you right now. Why don't you ask your Mom to play?" Often, just saying "go away" won't work, you'll need to give them something to go do. Little kids don't always get hints- I try to be polite, but I tell them what needs to be done.
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pierrotlunaire0

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Re: How to handle kids at the pool
« Reply #16 on: August 11, 2010, 04:42:59 PM »
Just something about the child seemed "off" to me.  It felt too much like she was trying to be my DD's peer.  I wish I could really put my finger on it.  I guess I should've just told her to go find her mother.  She sure disappeared quickly with DH got there.

What is coloring my answer is that just this morning I watched a program about Mary Bell.  She was 10 years old when she started murdering younger children.

If it bothered you, go with your feelings.

Years ago, a neighbor moved in next door.  Her son was 12 years old, and he was big for his age.  His playmates of choice were the 5 - 6 year olds in the neighborhood.  Something about him always made me uneasy.  At the age of 16 he was convicted of raping his 5 year old cousin.

Not that I am accusing this girl of that, but I know that uneasy feeling.
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susantoyota

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Re: How to handle kids at the pool
« Reply #17 on: August 11, 2010, 08:58:59 PM »
Years ago, a neighbor moved in next door.  Her son was 12 years old, and he was big for his age.  His playmates of choice were the 5 - 6 year olds in the neighborhood.  Something about him always made me uneasy.  At the age of 16 he was convicted of raping his 5 year old cousin.

Not that I am accusing this girl of that, but I know that uneasy feeling.
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POD to the above. I have a 3rd cousin who lived briefly with my brother's family. This was a boy of 10-11 years old, who while jumping on a trampoline with my 2 year old nephew, just had to keep hold of my nephew. I told him repeatedly to stop and eventually removed my nephew from the situation. A year or so later, he molested a little girl at his after school program. No remorse for what he did to the little girl.

Always listen to your gut.
« Last Edit: August 11, 2010, 09:00:36 PM by susantoyota »

Balletmom

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Re: How to handle kids at the pool
« Reply #18 on: August 11, 2010, 09:37:01 PM »
I agree with the other posters. Always listen to your gut response.

Playing with younger children can just be a sign of being loving and a maternal-minded child, but it's also a warning sign for a child who has development issues with peers. That's something that's probably  harmless but not appropriate and needs to be monitored. The older child doesn't know how to interact appropriately so it can't just be shrugged off.

On the other hand, a child who has been abused will seek out younger children to re-enact the abuse. For that reason, I was always very cautious about this issue, and still am even with teenage children.

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