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Author Topic: Mom guilt spin off - sports mom guilt  (Read 2340 times)

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Just Lori

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Mom guilt spin off - sports mom guilt
« on: August 10, 2010, 01:51:42 PM »
Does anyone else feel they are simply not qualified to be a sports parent?

I have a child who, according to coaches and others familiar with the sport, is a gifted athlete.  She loves the sport, loves to play around with it in the backyard, consistently makes the top teams, won the state championship, etc.  She's 11.

Other sports parents are so much more gung ho about the sport than I am.  Don't get me wrong.  I love to watch her play, because she loves to play.  She's always smiling on the field.  But her teammates are doing all sorts of extra training - weight training, speed training, agility training.  I'm sure some training would benefit my child, but I don't necessarily want to spend the extra money.  Plus, we have another child who is not athletically gifted, so we're trying not to make one child the golden child and the other an afterthought.

The kids are in a prestigious tournament this weekend.  The tournament is out of town and involves games during the day on Friday.  I'm just not gung ho about taking her out of school for a tournament.  I know, I know, it happens a lot, and I respect other parents' decisions to do just that.  I personally don't love it.  I personally don't give two bits about how prestigious this tournament is.  I'm tired of hearing other parents talk about how prestigious this tournament is. 

My daughter hopes to play ball in high school.  She's not thinking beyond that.  But she does look at the fields at the high school and sigh longingly when we drive by.  I want to help her realize this dream, if it stays with her for the next three years.  But I'm just not sure I'm ready to sell the family soul and checkbook to keep up with the other families who are so much more dedicated than we are.   

Sigh.  I'm taking it a season at a time.  You never know whether the drive will go or a knee will be injured.  I just wish I had a few other sports parents who understood where I'm coming from.


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Re: Mom guilt spin off - sports mom guilt
« Reply #1 on: August 10, 2010, 01:59:28 PM »
Let me tell you something.

I'm a talented swimmer.  I'm built for it.  Can't claim credit for that part.

My parents got me started in swimming lessons because I was terrified of water (hydrophobia!  hah!) after a near-drowning incident when I was very small.  In just a few months I went from screaming and thrashing in the shallow end to swimming like a fish.

And then my big sister pushed me at it.  Which was a good thing, for a while.  I have almost no self-motivation.  She's always been a bit of a mother to me, and I don't blame her for this.  But she did push me too hard.  I started off at the local YMCA team, three days a week, one hour a day during the school year.  And that was good.  And then I got older, and there was early morning summer practice.  And then five days a week, for two hours.  And I completely burned out.  I stuck with it through high school because it felt good to be good at something, but I stopped trying or caring sometime around 7th or 8th grade.  I continued training through the summer after my senior year of high school, since most of my oldest friends were from swim team, and then I just dropped it.  I hated it with all of my being.

I've regretted it ever since.  If your daughter loves the sport, push her just a little bit, that's a good thing.  But I've seen too many kids have the same thing happen to them as happened to me.  If she wants more intense training, that's great.  But don't feel bad for not pushing her to the utmost of her ability.  She's still a kid.

ETA:  And don't feel bad for shelling out tons of money on extra training, either.  She'll be fine.  Playing sports for fun is a luxury, remember.  It's such a huge thing in this country that I think we forget it's not necessary for children to have good childhoods.
« Last Edit: August 10, 2010, 02:01:00 PM by MrsJWine »

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Re: Mom guilt spin off - sports mom guilt
« Reply #2 on: August 10, 2010, 02:03:06 PM »
I think I would ask DD what she wanted to do. Then I wouldn't worry about what the other parents thought.

« Last Edit: October 13, 2011, 02:42:43 PM by ginlyn32 »
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