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Author Topic: DS wants to be a boxer  (Read 2155 times)

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DS wants to be a boxer
« on: August 10, 2010, 10:42:05 AM »
I try really really hard to let my kids pick thier own activities. I would love to see DS get into something that he felt really passionate about. But the thing is, I don't think I can bring myself to let him go into boxing. The damage it does to the body and the brain is just more than I can cope with. I tried to steer him back into martial arts or wrestling or something, but he has taken martial arts before and says he doesn't want to do that. He hates the wrestlers at school (says he will never fit into thier crowd etc) so wants nothing to do with that.

He wants to use his own money to pay for training, and I have always told him that it's his money and he can do with it what he likes. But do you think I am justified in putting my foot down on this and saying no way, no how? A teenager just can't grasp the long-term problems related to repeated brain damage...
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Re: DS wants to be a boxer
« Reply #1 on: August 10, 2010, 11:01:13 AM »
You're perfectly within your parental rights to put your foot down about participation in a specific activity.  My father is an ophthalmologist - I was never allowed to play paintball, even though many of my friends played, because he had just seen too many serious eye injuries resulting from paintball (both stupidity-induced and accidental moments from otherwise very careful players).  Once he outlined his reasons, I wasn't terribly happy about the decision - but I understood he was concerned for me and so I still have never played.

I suggest sitting down with your son and outlining your objection (long-term damage, high risk of short-term injury, etc.) and letting him do some research.  If, even after the research, he still wants to box - fine, he can try to convince you that he will do X, Y, and Z to be safe, those injuries only happen for people doing ABC and he's not going to do that, here's some safety information about amateur boxing and see, it's perfectly safe, etc - then you can re-evaluate your decision (honestly) and make a final call.  When I did this my dad's final call was still no  :P but I really appreciate that he treated me like a rational adult and let me argue my case!


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Re: DS wants to be a boxer
« Reply #2 on: August 10, 2010, 11:15:26 AM »
You might investigate gyms and trainers and see if there is a trainer who understands the issues and trains in a safe manner. Has he even actually boxed? He might not enjoy the realities as much as he thinks he will.

My cousin's kid wanted to be a 'professional wrestler' (WWF type stuff) from a pretty early age. He pursued it through high school and after, but eventually realized that unless you're at the very top, it's a pretty grubby, financial unrewarding, and yes, physically brutal lifestyle. He is now a person trainer to really rich folks out in Colorado, and gets to travel the world with them. Pretty awesome career for a pretty awesome kid.


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Re: DS wants to be a boxer
« Reply #3 on: August 10, 2010, 03:35:19 PM »
Teach him Internet research skills...require him to present reliable, authoritative proof/statistics that documents that head injury is not a serious and likely complication of boxing. Reading the stats on injuries might convince him.
Don't feel bad about going back on your rule...if he'd said he wanted to spend his own money pursuing his hobby of smoking marijuana, you wouldn't have said he could, would you? Or if he wanted to buy a hot rod for street racing, or a gun to conduct armed robberies. :) There are LOTS of times that parents cannot permit a child to pursue their interests.

Foster Cline, who wrote 'Parenting with Love and Logic' had a daughter who wanted to enter her horse in show jumping contests. He told her, 'If you are wearing all the standard safety gear, and are riding according to the instructions of your teacher, and you are injured, all the resources of the family will stand behind your rehabilitation. But if you refuse to wear a helmet, or you're riding recklessly, you might want to check out the type of care Medicaid will provide for you, because I will not take money away from your brothers' and sisters' college education, or your mother's and my retirement, to provide you with additional care. If you don't care to protect yourself, we won't protect you from the consequences of your choices.' Tough, yes...but his daughter always wore her helmet, he says.