Thanks so much for all the replies. He does like theater and will be auditioning for the school play in a few weeks (everyone that wants to participate, can). He is also a talented writer, but I haven't been able to find something in that area.
He tried karate a few times when he was younger and complained about it. We've done swim lessons, swim team, music lessons, etc. but he does not want to stick with most things and I don't want to fight about it. Kid triathlons have worked best, but he is very sensitive to being one of the slowest kids in all of these sports activities.
I do want to clarify that I
don't see him as a misfit, it's just a shortcut term to give a sense of how he feels. Teachers and counselors really enjoy him, I just think he's one of those kids who finds their way once they get to college. I just want to get him to that point as unscarred and with as decent self-esteem as I can.
He does get picked on, and it's hard to avoid the "blame the victim" mentality. I'd say about 60% of the time it's mean kids, but 40% of the time, he brings it on himself by being bossy or missing social cues. I've tried a few social skills classes, but so far most of the kids in there are the bullies, not the bullied, or else the kids have issues that are much worse than my DS, so it's hard.
There's just not enough time in the afternoons to get exercise, do homework, go to a social skills group, participate in an extracurricular, and have time to just be a kid. I'm having a hard time prioritizing on which areas to work on, while making sure not to focus too much on where he may fall short...and my other kids need me too